This is going to be very disgusting and I'm really ashamed of it.
My question is:
I now intrusive thoughts can cause arousal sometimes, but sometimes I masturbate to these thoughts!
After I finish doing it I feel very disgusting and sad, I'm afraid that it's not just POCD anymore and I'm just a pedophile, I'm afraid and ashamed of talking about it to my therapist, so I need to hear from you guys first!
Help, I'm so afraid of hurting kids!