November 12, 2019.
I will be 22 years of age 10 days from today.
I have O.C.D., and since the past 2 years and 2 months - a horrible withdrawal from a type of drugs called Benzodiazepines.
The Withdrawal became terrifyingly complicated, and now, the chance of getting out of it is so difficult that it is as saying that it is impossible.
I tried to avoid resisting Obsessions to make myself suicidal and then hang myself just about half an hour ago. But, almost no Obsessions came when I wanted them to. I just kept crying.
I am 21 years and 5 months old. I have O.C.D., and along with it, have been in drug withdrawal from Benzodiazepines for more than 19 months. I have not taken any tablets since the past 27 hours. I decided that I will not take any, no matter what mental state I am in. I destroyed all the tablets that I have. I decided that I will not meet a Psychiatrist or go to a hospital anymore. I will only fight this without having any therapy or taking medicine. If it is not possible, then I shall hang myself. The plan was made more than 13 months ago. Death is much better for me than this survival.
I am a 20 years, 7 months old, male person.
I am dealing with O.C.D., which is being worsened by Benzodiazepine withdrawal.
I am on a very high dose of Clonazepam (12mg) since the past 13 days, but it has not completely dealt with the symptoms.
There were, and still are, severe mood swings even on such a high dose.