I dont think this is OCD, but I seem to have no emotions anymore. My wife used to be my whole world. I battled ROCD forever. I used to feel horrible for bad thoughts that popped in my head about her. Now I just go along with them. I keep thinking I should leave her. I say hurtful things to her for no reason, i say hurtful things about out kids to make her mad. I have no energy anymore to help her around house or anything. I used to battle POCD, it seemed to go away, now if a thought pops in my head I dont seem to even shrug a shoulder. I just dont know who i am anymore.
I have suffered from ROCD for a while. Then it went away. I still had thoughts about leaving my wife. I would start wanting her to cheat on me so it could all be over. I made an account on a hook up site. Started adding girls on facebook i used to like or had a relationship with. But even if i were to leave her i couldnt. I couldnt leave her without a place to live or go. She has no family. I saved her from a bad situation. Now, I feel bad about what I did. But, what if i dont feel bad. What if i want to leave her? Im constantly freaking out. But then i think what uf im making it all up?
I have had ocd and intrusive thoughts for a while now. Started out with cleaning, pocd, and then rocd. I always notice her flaws, and it keeps me from loving her the way i should. I dont even know if i have it anymore. I dont have any interest in anything anymore or any energy. I love my wife, but now im thinking i want to experiment with guys. I dont know if i want to leave her. Im so drained. Do i even have ocd anymore? I always want everyrhing perfect, but i dont have the energy.
If it is causing you that much pain, from what I've heard it's just your OCD. I have dealt with pretty much every OCD in the book..I'm still having trouble. I have had thoughts that I was gay and i have a wife and 2 kids. Best luck I know how hard it can be.