Theres been a few instances where I've tested myself by masturbating to my thoughts to see if I enjoyed them. Sometimes I get a feeling that seems like true enjoyment and I end up coming to the conclusion that I enjoy it. However the next day when I reflect I cant bring myself to say I enjoy it and it begins to feel wrong all over again. Can OCD cause things like this to happen or am I just a pedophile in denial?
Hell so I'm 17 and lately my ocd has been healing and today I felt like I could masturbate in peace. For a quick moment I stopped stimulating myself and the thought of my 10 year old brother randomly popped into my head. Moments after the thought came I randomly started stimulating myself again and now I feel like i might've proved I'm a pedophile. I have no idea why my hand would've moved and I feel like this proves I get some kind of pleasure out of the thought. I need some advice for this cause right now I'm just am anxious mess.