Reacting to the reaction!

Sudden automatic thoughts that darken each new day
sadly, I'm aware that they are here to stay.
My anxiety is swelling and I pray my thoughts aren't right
should I seek reassurance, should I flee or should I fight?

I feed these thoughts with meaning as the anxiety increases
Reassurance is futile, I am breaking down in pieces.
Compulsions are repeated, I must 'feel' that things are right
my inherent core belief grows stronger as I surrender to my plight.

My attention now is switching, far from all things far and near
My focus is fixed upon the worse thoughts that I fear.
There must be a solution, a way of stopping the need to check.
It's my reaction to my thinking that's causing me to be a wreck.

As the next thought hits me, I feel the anxiety rise.
With courage, I discover to my pleasant surprise
that anxiety won't kill me, so I don't engage with the thought
Time goes by so slowly, yet I am winning the battle being fought

Each new thought is percieved as a floating pebble passing by
I cease seeking reassurance, my vicious bully begins to die
By not engaging with the worry, the thoughts slowly go away
Finally I'm at peace, beginning to enjoy each new day.

If you are a sufferer of OCD and don't know what to do
I pray that within this poem you find the simple clue
Its your thinking that is faulty, there's no need for all this strife
Ditch engaging with your thinking and start to live your life!

From Lumpy

 

Lumpy,  July 2, 2010