OCD Action

It is a good idea to spend a few quiet moments thinking about what makes you feel stressed. You may find it helpful to write down a list.

Another idea might be to think about what you would say to another carer if they came to you for advice – it’s often easier to see solutions to other people’s problems than your own. Once you know what you find stressful, try to think of practical things you can do to deal with the problem.

It’s not always easy to do but talking to someone is one of the best ways of dealing with stress is to talk about it with someone. Who you talk to will depend on your situation. You may want to try talking to someone you know you can trust and will listen sympathetically. If you find it difficult to talk about your feelings with someone you know, you may want to try getting some counselling. Talking to a trained counsellor may help you explore your situation more openly and honestly than you can with people you know.

You can also seek counselling by contacting a local voluntary organisation, charity or Mind. There are lots of groups, which offer counselling free of charge or for a small fee look in you local library or doctors surgery for more information. You can contact a counsellor by asking your doctor. Doctors can sometimes can refer patients for counselling on the NHS. You may prefer to pay a counsellor. There are private counsellors all over the UK – you can get a list of counsellors in your area by sending an A5 stamped addressed envelope to: British Association for Counselling. Check what the fees are before you book, as private counselling can be very expensive.

If you feel you really need to talk urgently then call The Samaritans on 08457 909090 or Saneline on 08457 67 8000. You can talk to a trained volunteer in confidence about anything.

Using relaxation techniques can help your body – and mind – to become more relaxed. You can do this with special breathing exercises.

Many local colleges offer day and evening classes in relaxation techniques and relaxation activities like yoga and aromatherapy. Check at your local library for details.

Vigorous physical exercise can help you relax. The physical effort helps to unwind tight muscles so that your body feels more relaxed and leaves you with a general feeling of well-being. Keeping fit can also help you cope with the physical demands of caring. Any kind of vigorous exercise will help – walking briskly, swimming, cycling or attending a keep fit class. Your local library should have information about what’s available locally.

What to do if you think caring is becoming too stressful. If you have tried everything we have suggested and you still feel stressed, it might be time to look again at your situation. Think very carefully about whether you can go on caring. If the honest answer is ‘no’, try not to feel you have failed in some way. It’s better to be realistic and make good alternative arrangements than to carry on regardless until you reach breaking point.

There may be other options that will allow you to reduce the burden of caring without giving up altogether, such as:
Getting additional help at home or regular respite care. Once you have been caring for 22 weeks you can have four weeks break every six months. (Note: however that taking a break can affect some benefits, and the system is quite complicated. It is best to seek information before you take breaks to ensure there are no problems.)

Letting go of some of the practical problems of caring may give you more ‘quality time’ with the person you care for.
Alternatively, it may be time to start thinking about residential care. It’s important for you to take a break from caring on a regular basis. Every moment is precious – whether you take the odd hour off, spend half a day doing something you enjoy, meet up with friends for an evening or take a two-week break. It is important that you find ways to take a break to stop you becoming completely exhausted or even unwell and it also means the person you care for has a break from you, other people to talk to and other things to talk about. And, if the person you care for is used to it happening occasionally, it will make things easier if ever you need someone else to care for them.

However, taking a break can be easier said than done when you need to care for someone and you have little time or money to spare. Try to involve the person you care for in deciding what arrangements are made. It is a good idea to introduce the temporary care provider gradually so everyone can get used to each other. Make sure the care provider knows the routine they will need to follow, and make sure they have any essential information including contact telephone numbers in case of an
emergency.

Carers UK can provide information on who can help when you need to take a break, whether its temporary care in the home, day care away from home, a residential break or a holiday.

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