OCD Action

bordergirl
Member

I havent been on for months but want you all to know that it is possible to improve. I always felt that after recieving the diagnosis that the irrational thoughts were infact OCD that I began my road to recovery. I had lots of advice off many people read some excellent books on the subject and some awful ones but now I know that the only way I improved was
. Admit that there is something wrong
. Get help from a doctor
. Talk about it as much as you can
. take meds if you need to
. Take excercise and eat heathly
. Small steps will lead to big ones
. don't be ashamed
. Realise you are not the thoughts

For those of you who may think I had mild OCD, I was imprisoned in my home, walking like a zombie with ruminations every waking moment. It was a prison sentance in the mind. I couldnt eat sleep and the cycle was never ending. You have to find it within yourself to beat it. I began to have 4 less bad thoughts a day, then 6 less until as I am now a person who has bad thoughts but then hey so do half the population. It has to come from within. I am lucky but I no longer fight just accept who I am and move forward. We talk alot about fighting this but you can't, it starts with accepting that awful sick thoughts are part of what make us as humans, but due to our nature these thoughts become consuming. Accept them and realise you only become obsessive because you are concerned about these thoughts and will never act upon them.

I have had obsessions about - hurting my children, my husband, being evil and suicide. I still have days when I feel low but then so do half of the population.
I can never thank you all enough for all you did when I was at my lowest but the first step to recovery is finding out you have the illness and moving on in small steps.

I hope this helps to know you can improve and live normally (ups and downs like everyone). xxxxxxx

Thanks again you all helped me through my darkest days.

Sun Jun 14 2009 0:38:09 #
Arran
Member

I would love to get to your stage. I would be intrested to talk to you furthur if that ok? Drop me a PM if thats cool?

Sun Jun 14 2009 9:09:31 #
brennie
Member

Bordergirl, hiya its good to hear from you again after such a long time.
I am so pleased that you have reached a better place in your life, i remember you very well because you had the same ocd thoughts as me.
I agree that the only way to cope with this ocd is to accept / understand who and what we are , we are not bad people because we dont want these intrusive thoughts, taking these tiny baby steps day by day is the best way to cope is'nt it ? in my opinion the worst way to deal with it is to fight it, if we fight the ocd it gives it more fuel to hurt us even more, and the ocd thrives on attention.....the best way is to listen too the thoughts , accept that there there, but try not to pay it the attention it thrives on , because these intrusive thoughts are just ocd blabber consisting of NO truth.

Keep up the good work bordergirl and please keep in touch hun, its been really good to hear of your progress.

love brennie x

Mon Jun 15 2009 8:36:07 #
Moocher
Member

It seems to me that there is only one way really to overcome OCD and that is to face right up to it. I was hoping that I was going to discover some handy little trick that would make it easy but seems there isn't one. You've just got to knuckle down and do the work.
I get so sick and tired of keep finding new things to be anxious about. It's like my mind is looking for something to turn into a problem. And of course, the longer you go on feeling anxious, the more detached you become from what it feels like to be normal.
I totally agree, you have to find it in yourself to deal with it. People can give you advice and support but in the end you have to be the one to finally put it to bed.
I do wish you luck. And I also agree that small steps can make all the difference.

Mon Jun 15 2009 8:58:50 #
worriedsister
Member

Dear You can feel better

My brother has a very bad case of OCD. He also has thoughts that evil things are going to happen to certain people and then has to do his rituals to try and elimate them. This has over taken his life he cannot work or socialise with others. He has been on a number of different medications. Just dont know what I can do to try and help him.

Mon Jun 15 2009 9:36:28 #
bordergirl
Member

Hi all

Worried sister you must continue to be open about the situation as one of things which has helped me is feeling that my friends loved ones understand me. They dont and never have fussed me and they have made me deal with uncomfortable feelings. Their belief in me made me realise that I could be trusted and I wasnt this evil being. I have three small children and went through I time when I felt not safe to be around them but my husband and family carried on as normal and still left me with the children, it was horrific at the time with me being so scared but I soon realised they were right I could cope. It is very easy to become dependant when you have OCD. Having a loving sisiter like you makes your brother a lucky boy but he needs to realise that he is not his thoughts. We are all a little weird as human beings and this just makes the world a more interesting place. He is in a dark place at the moment but he will feel better eventually, first just for 4mins then for days on end. He must push himself to live as normal a life as possible, at first this is a nightmare but it will become easier. My brother used to tease me about my illness and to be honest as cruel as it sounds it worked and lightened my perception of it and it became less serious. A sense of humour and laughter helps so much.

This worked for me but each of us is different and we all need to face it and take small steps. Perhaps you could recomend your brother to read my thread.

Thanks to all my wellwishers you will get there.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mon Jun 15 2009 10:39:20 #
jon
Member

Hi Moocher,

You said "I get so sick and tired of keep finding new things to be anxious about. It's like my mind is looking for something to turn into a problem".
You are reading my mind with this statement. Every OCD book I read seems to deal with washing and checking and lays out strategies for dealing with these which is fine if you are a washer and checker but my OCD can be about anything. I get the impression that yours are also varied and wondered how you deal with them?
jfj

Mon Jun 15 2009 16:28:07 #
brennie
Member

WORRIED SISTER, your brother is so lucky to have a sister like you you are already helping him by posting your concerns about him on the forum.
I know what he is going through and its awful, the support you are giving him is the best medicine.

love brennie x

Mon Jun 15 2009 17:21:34 #
Wombat140
Member

Worried Sister, has your brother had Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or only medication? I don't think you can get rid of OCD entirely with nothing but medication. That helps of course but to get rid of it permanently you need something else. CBT is generally said to be the best treatment for OCD by a long way. Under the new rules you are entitled to a certain amount of it on the NHS, although you may have to wait a while. If you haven't looked into this before I think you should.

Wishing you and your brother the best of luck.
Wombat140

Mon Jun 15 2009 18:28:11 #
worriedsister
Member

Hi
Thanks for all the supportive emails. He has not started any CBT yet. The thing is he lives in South Africa and has suffered from OCD and depression since a child. The OCD became worse liast year when another brother dies suddenly from a heart attached at the age of 40. Since then the doc in SA have tried him on so many different medications is taking about 6 doffernt medication at the moment. I asked him to come to the UK to visist me and for me to try and get him some help. He saw a Dr Bott, private doc, who took him off some off 3 off his tabs and started him on ziprin. He has seen a CBT therapist twice, but she has not started on any CBS work yet. He goes back home next week and he says that he is feeling worse and that it would be better is he were dead. Just dont know what more I can do. Any suggestions Please.

Thu Jun 18 2009 0:14:19 #
Wombat140
Member

It'll have to be self-help books then. It is possible to do CBT for yourself up to a point, although obviously a trained therapist does it better.
"Brain Lock" by Jeffrey Schwartz is very popular. I didn't find it that helpful myself, but that was because it focused on the obsessive thoughts, which I don't have. I think if you do have them this book might be very useful. The methods described are Schwartz's own variation on CBT, so they are a bit different from what you will see elsewhere.
I can recommend "Human Givens" by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell. It's a whacking great book discussing possible mechanisms of all kinds of things, but there is a good section on OCD.
The same authors came up with "How to Master Anxiety: All You Need to Know to Overcome Stress, Panic Attacks, Trauma, Phobias, Obsessions and More (Human Givens Approach)" which ought to be a long enough title for anyone. I haven't read it myself but it's worth a try.
There are some other books recommended on the main OCDAction website: [url:1ovh5dr1]http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/books.html[/url:1ovh5dr1]
And plenty more at OCD-UK: [url:1ovh5dr1]http://www.ocduk.org/2/books.htm[/url:1ovh5dr1]
Hope this helps,
Wombat140

Fri Jun 19 2009 20:40:51 #
lioness
Member

I'm really pleased for you that you have managed to improve as much as you have. You obviously worked very hard and had some difficult times but it worked for you. I think we can all get better to a point but some people are sadly worse off then others and not through any fault of their own, I guess thats just the way it is.

Thu Jul 2 2009 11:39:03 #