OCD Action

sindy13
Member

Hi all, I don't know whether what I am experiencing is OCD. It so happens that everytime I can't reach a loved one on their phone, all sorts of disturbing images come to my mind - that something terrible must have happened. These images come to mind with excruciating details and I start imagining how my life would change if those things happened and how I would never be able to cope with those events. These thoughts come even after I have just spoken to them 10 minutes ago and cannot call them now. These thoughts worry me so much that I just cannot focus on anything else till I am able to establish contact with them. I also experience severe palpitation and slight dizziness while I am worrying. The severity and intensity of the worry is so much that now I also have anticipation worry. Everytime a loved one is travelling, I worry that I might not be able to reach them on their phone. I need them to give me constant reassurances/notifications of their safety at every stage of their journey, like getting into a train safely, getting down safely, etc. The state of worry that I experience is one of the worst states of being for me. Is something wrong? Please let me know what you think of this.

Wed Feb 10 2010 8:21:19 #
Unregistered

Dear Sindy
Welocome to the forum.

Have you been to see your GP about this? If not, this is the first thing you should do.

All I can say is that if this worrying takes on the form of ruminations (thinking and worrying about this and being unable to shift it from your brain) it could well be OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder as is general anxiety disorder (GAD). From what I have read, both benefit from CBT (in the form of self help or help with a qualifified therapist. But medication might also help. A small dose of citalopram (10-20mg a day) helped reduce my panic attacks and allowed me to tackle my thoughts.

The books I have bought do not seem to specific form of anxiety in detail. But at least one forum member has such thoughts. Dr Frank Tallis's useful book 'understanding Obsessions and Compulsions' which is available at Amazon.co.uk does have a chapter on 'Dealing with Upsetting thoughts and Excessive Worry,.' Rob Willson and Rhena Branch's CBT for Dummies also has some very useful ideas about how to stop catastrophising. I have found both these books very useful.

Hope this helps

Glad (Anne)

Wed Feb 10 2010 10:21:31 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi sindy13 -

thank you for your openness. Whilst I am not a psychologist (I'm a neurobiologist), I would say: you are suffering from obsessions. You may not expressly have accompanying compulsions, although perhaps the frequent asking for reassurances could be construed as a derived type of compulsions.

I'd guess you feel a considerable powerlessness, is that right? A lack of power to ensure the safety of those you so worry about. Maybe there is guilt in there too: if something were to happen, something bad, you'd feel guilty for not having been able to deflect that harm, am I right?

All in all, you are vexed by these things, unnecessarily so. You don't deserve all those sombre thoughts. Perhaps you feel a certain urge to be perfect, in control, so that you can protect all those that you love. Which is a very human and noble urge. But none of us can ever be perfect, and we don't need to feel guilty about that.

If I were you, I would seek a form of treatment; a good intake conversation could mean a gigantic leap forward for you.

Whatever you choose to do, or not, I wish you all the best in the world, and foremost: that you soon will be able to form a fitting reply to those thoughts and worries in your mind. Something like: oh, you're there for sure, but I can manage you, no need for you to interfere with my mood and my business... (just thinking of a way of dealing with them, here).

Feel free to criticize me, to inquire, to reply, to PM. That is what the board is for, after all.

Love, Cuthbert.

Wed Feb 10 2010 10:31:31 #
Bongo
Member

Hi
I can really understand what you are going through. I am always worrying about people. I have had to stop my self going up to my sons school just to check that he is there, just because I have not seen him in his classroom even though I have watched him going in. The anxiety I feel is overwhelming. Sometimes I can not settle till all my family are back home. I know it is my OCD doing this, but even though I tell myself that I am worrying about nothing, I worry about that I am not worrying. This does not happen every day, but when it does I can go into complete panic. I have seen a specialist and I am now waiting to start my OCD. My OCD starting as a fear of being sick and germs. It has now shifted to thoughts and obsessions about my family and friends. I also have the palpatations and dizziness. The therapist says this is the panic and that we are taking in too much oxegyn. I have been learning some relaxation excercises to calm this down. Speaking to my doctor and therapist about this has helped quite a lot.

Wed Feb 10 2010 18:54:34 #
Rena32
Member

Nothing is wrong, other that this is the OCD acting up, I know exactly how you feel for I myself have went through this ever since I can remember. I may call family members over and over to be reassured of their safety and health. They all tell me, I worry to much, but then again it is the OCD. Yes, it is very hard to deal with that kind of worry, it really depresses me at times, although for the past few weeks, I have been so much better, thanks to the support of this forum. I hope that these worries will get better for you as well.

Thu Feb 11 2010 4:36:00 #
Rena32
Member

Sindy, do you experience any other symptoms other than the worries?

Thu Feb 11 2010 4:51:27 #
nettlenoo
Member

hi i suffer from anxiety too not so much in having to contact relatives more the fact im scared of everything, i too would have palpatations and full on panic attacks where i truelly believe my heart would fail and i would die. its very scary i know i suffered for a few years before it came to a head last year after my gran passed away and i totally broke down. i was given meds by my doctor and they have help massively i still have the anxiety but no palps or panic attacks and no more horrid thoughts. id go to your doctors and speak to them it does take courage to go but meds or cbt or councelling may help you. best of luck
annette xxx

Thu Feb 11 2010 12:02:55 #
Unregistered

Dear Netti

I am so pleased that your meds have taken away the thoughts as well as the panic attacks. Mine took away the panic attacks but not the thoughts. My brain is active 24/7 and I always thought that this was the norm. But I have now found out that most people can switch off thoughts. Any ideas on how to?

Love
Anne

Thu Feb 11 2010 12:07:01 #
Unregistered

Hi Anne
Is that right, most people can switch off thoughts? well mine are active 24/7 365 days pa and 366 in leap years, plus the extra few seconds that get added on every millennnium or so - and in overdrive all the time except when I'm asleep - even then I suspect they are subconsciously in overdrive, I thought everyone was the same. If there is a button to switch off thoughts I was obviously made when the button inserter was on tea break.

Thu Feb 11 2010 12:15:05 #
Unregistered

Hi

Yes it was a nurse in our mutual hospital who told me that. His brother was a psychaitrist. My husband can certainly switch off and is a better multi-tasker than me. In fact multi-tasking is hard when we can't switch off as clothes can land up in the fridge and a tea towel almost ended up in the loo a few months ago. When I am trying to wash and tumble dry at the same time I have to slow my thinking down before I open either of the doors. No wonder I cannot sleep properly.

Love
Anne

Thu Feb 11 2010 12:20:10 #
nettlenoo
Member

my thoughts slowly melted away i just had to not think about them or do things that would provoke these horrid thoughts i dont know why they have gone to the extent i no longer have horrid ones, i do have vivid images though say for instance matt cycles to work everyday i often have images of him lying dead on the street some where so he has to txt everyday when he gets to work so i know he is alive and well. most days he forgets to let me know but as the months have passed im a little less worried about it. maybe thats the meds for you

Thu Feb 11 2010 14:03:55 #
aishah
Member

Hi Sindy,
I have experienced periods in my life when I have excessively worried about other people, mainly my family. These have been very horrible periods of my life and at the time it was all going on, I didn't know that it was OCD.
This was diagnosed after a full blown mental breakdown in 2002, when I was thirty five.
When my husband used to go abroad frequently on business trips, if I didn,t hear from him at every step of the journey, I would imagine that he had been in a car crash, or the boat had capsised that he was travelling on, I would have mental conversations with the police telling me that he had been killed and all in graphic details. Scary!

It sounds like it could be OCD that you are experiencing. You should go to your G.P. and discuss it with them as OCD is treatable and the longer it is left the more you will suffer.

I sympathise with you as at the moment I am going through a rough patch with the OCD and my anxiety levels are very high too.

Good luck

Bridget

Thu Feb 11 2010 16:37:19 #
aishah
Member

Hi Joyce,
I am with you, my thoughts are also non stop, its relentless isn't it? It really gets me down, sometimes when things are really bad, like at the moment, I don't know what its' like to think normally. I find the whole experience very scary and spend a lot of my time in a high state of anxiety.

Bridget
x

Thu Feb 11 2010 16:49:44 #
sindy13
Member

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! It really helps to know -"I am not the only one". Rena32, I have noticed that when in a state of worry, all 'rational' thoughts vanish and only negative thoughts come to mind, no matter how much I try to console myself/think more positively. It's just not possible to stop the thoughts. Aishah and Bongo, your experiences are very similar to mine. May I ask what attempts you have made to reduce the intensity/frequency of your symptoms?

Sat Feb 13 2010 14:44:11 #
sindy13
Member

My family is more than willing to help me out of this. The most they can do is keep their phones available and check it frequently. They go out of their way to inform me that they are safe. Though it really helps for the time being and stops the symptoms for that time, but the tendency to worry still remains. I sometimes feel guilty that they are being so patient in spite of my unreasonable demands...

Sat Feb 13 2010 14:50:30 #
mama
Member

It is my understanding that you musnt try and 'switch the thoughts off'. Apparently the inrusive thoughts are normal events. Worrying about the welfare of your loved ones is a practice that you are choosing to engage in...Probably to try and lessen the intensity of the anxiety. They say that we have to embrace the idea of 'uncertainty'. Living with 'not knowing' if someone is okay or not is difficult for us...trying to call and ask if they are okay is a compulsion. They are very kind to reasure you, but ultimately, I'm told this makes it worse because it tricks your mind into thinking its necessary to get that reasurance. Does that make sense? i was told, 'dont try to stop the thoughts from coming, but dont try to do anything to lessen the anxiety'...That means dont talk yourself through it, dont call for reasurance, and just sit with the anxiety of not knowing...its easier said than done, but it does work.

Sat Feb 13 2010 18:08:16 #
sindy13
Member

Mama, I think you are absolutely right. Your suggestion is very likely to be effective because it tries to break the pattern of anxiety leading to calling, which leads to lessening anxiety, which in turn, reinforces the compulsive act of calling. If we can break this cycle, and let anxiety remain, its association with the act of calling will weaken...(Just like the Behaviourists would try to explain). I will definitely try this! Thanks! What do the rest of you think?

Sun Feb 14 2010 5:24:52 #