OCD Action

sillybilly
Member

Hello all

Just looking for advice really, abit about myself. Im a man who on the outside looks normal but on the inside has the following symptoms and have done for a number of years. When I first got them a few years ago. i was referred to a shrink, was asked if I was gay or straight, born early or.late, what my childhood was like etc etc that did absolutly nothing to help my symptoms. Then I saw a social worker who done nothing to help ne. I guess they thought I was suffering from a mild.psychosis or something however ocd was never really established or talked about with me, so called professionals couldn't help.me. now I take no.meds or receive no.help.

Anyway symptoms are or have been over the years

Repeated checking of Taps, switches. Doors locked. Sometimes up to about 150 times altho usually about 30.
Avoidance of certain numbers.
An urge to look directly at the sun that has caused me inconsiderable distress
reading things I have wrote over and over again to make sure I have not wrote anything that can cause.me loads or offend anybody
Checking that I have not been hurt or hurt anybody (walking over a road then back again over a road back again to assure I was not hit by a car.
Reassurance of people, when I'm.worried.
The beleif that someone may harm me altho I know.its unlikely but always checking to see if anybody is up to.something

However now this year I want to.do.something about it, I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. I have had brief episodes of depression.when its got too much for me. However i dont want to be associated with a label ocd or anything else. One time I worked for a large company and felt extremely patronized about it when questioned by a boss (awwww we r a business we can't have u being off sick all the time) I've never been off work because of this problem.nor.does.it affect me severly, altho it is bothersome. I was thinking about doing self help. Thoughts??

Thank u so much for.ur time reading this and sorry for bad grammar spllibg mistakes!

Wed Feb 8 2012 13:34:33 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya Sillybilly -

welcome to the forum. And thank you for being so open, and methodical in writing down the things that bother you so much.

From my point of view, I would say: please try to get a bit familiar with the idea that you suffer from OCD, in various forms. OCD is an acknowledged illness that causes much suffering in people. Every real expert knows how life-impairing it can be. Also, the World Health Organisation placed it very high in its ranking of the disabling effects of all assessed diseases.

So: no need for any shame. And accepting that it is OCD that plagues you would make for a great first step. Mind: you say you don't want to be associated with the label 'OCD'. That is your good right. But it is also true that any form of clinical help respects total privacy and confidentiality; experts have a legal and formal duty to never reveal anything to third parties. So it is totally up to you what you want and do not want to say about it to others.

Now, about your list. I can totally relate to the intense checking you do, I had it myself for decades. My current medication, paroxetine (also known as Seroxat) is pretty effective in reducing that terrible compulsion. Rational thinking tells us that the habit isn't logical, yet OCD overrules such considerations. The reading again and again of that what you wrote, and the checking whether you hurt anyone in the recent past, these are also burdensome control measures, some combination of checking and reassurance seeking - you do the latter also in asking others about your worries.

Worries about others potentially harming you may well fall into the boundaries of OCD. I think that calling these fears 'paranoid' would be a mistake - I sense that you at the same time realise that that fear within you is unnecessary, you're able to perform reality checks. But I guess that an expert diagnosis by way of an interview would be helpful in clarifying this.

Fear of staring into the sun is a terrible intrusive thought about harming oneself. These worries come in all kinds of guises and intensities. Some young mothers are terribly afraid that they'll do severe harm to their newborns, for instance. But in reality, they don't. OCD is a nasty thing, something that is able to feed on our guilt and fear, and identifying that spot where we're the most vulnerable, some sort of primal fear, and then it aggravates that anxiety, enlarges it into something overwhelming and out of all proportion, we have terrible problems to dismiss it, if we're able to do that at all.

My idea is that you would do yourself an enormous favour by going to your regular doctor, and asking for a referral to a specialist in OCD and related disorders. Really, I'm not pushing you in one or another direction... my advice is born out of personal experience and that of many others, esp. at this very site. If you never did consult a clinician before, then going the self-help route at this point in time can be harmful. It'd be totally unexplored territory for you, and there's so much garbage and gobbledygook doing the rounds.

I am absolutely convinced that other members of this site will join in shortly, each with her/his take on things and personal experiences. And moreover: a number of them can give excellent advice on which books are really trustworthy and helpful in these matters - so should you still want to add personal education on OCD to your plans, please take their proposals.

And hey: you can always send me a private message here, if you have delicate matters on your mind about it all. We're here to support you.

All the best, and cheers out of wintry Holland,

Cuthbert.

Wed Feb 8 2012 15:05:31 #
slogsweep
Member

Hello and welcome to the forums, well done for being so brave as to write openly on here! It means you can get proper help quicker than the usual tentative first postings like my own. Really well done on that,

You're in the right place to get help and you'll soon find that you are absolutely not alone. I've never come across anyone else with the looking at the sun thing before so you've helped me there, I used to do this too when I was younger.

Cuthbert's put some very wise words down there, some more wise words I've had from members here is that "knowledge is power vs OCD". Read up on OCD there's loads of good books on Amazon. Often people cite "Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder" by David Veale and I'm a fan of "Brain Lock" by Jeffery Schwartz. Both are cheap on Amazon.

Best wishes and do let us know how you get on,

Slog

Wed Feb 8 2012 22:44:48 #
sillybilly
Member

Thank to you both

The list I wrote is not just that I also get or have had

The need to touch objects to see if they are hot (and if they were hot did I burn myself?)
Fear of needles or broken glass on the floor that could infect me, (I find myself checking thibgs on the floor I have crossed, even inspecting objects on the floor)
Sometimes routing through bins to see if I've threw anything valueable out or anything in there that may of caused me harm
Saying sentences over again and making sure that people have understood me in feat they misunderstood me

These ones are not so bothersome at the mo and more rare in myself these days

Does it sound like I have Ocd? And if i do how severe is it?? What do u think my chances of success are if I try to stop the compulsions and things I do to help.myself in the long term?

Thu Feb 9 2012 12:38:28 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi there Sillybilly -

...and thanks to you too. I will send you a private message now, please check your inbox.

Cheers, Cuthbert.

Thu Feb 9 2012 14:02:30 #