OCD Action

boowooo
Member

What if you cannot tell anyone? What if you are hiding all they round?
I am really tired right now, a year ago I wouldn't even log into such page, because I would be too scared that someone could track me and get to know about my disorder.

Where to seek for anonymous help? I'll add I am 18 right now...

P.s I logged into this page 4 times casue four is a good number... and 1 is really bad i even had to create a new email account for this. Tiring really.

Sat Feb 27 2010 12:06:44 #
Truddles
Member

Hi boowoo,

I saw your message on the Teen forum and so posted on this.

You can of course remain anonymous on the forum, a lot of members do. Also we have many members that aren't from the UK and they make a valuable contribution to the forum. Several of the friends I have made on the forum are from abroad. It's helpful to see how other countries deal with OCD.

On this forum we are like one big family, we're just scattered all over the world. Handy the internet as it makes it as if we all live nearby.

Speak soon

Trudy

Sat Feb 27 2010 13:24:22 #
boowooo
Member

I am switching here.

Trudy gave me a nice response, although I really didn't think anyone would reply. I started crying after her reply, but I am rather silly emotional.

As I written there I am not from UK but it is probably easy to see due to my multiple language mistakes.

As I written I am hopefully moving to UK next year to study there. Yesterday I had a low day because my friend started talking anorexic, like she loves the way they look the bones, everything and that she would love to look like them.
It just reminded me about my OCD... started seraching and I even wrote an email on some page, if I am able to seek help while being in UK just a foreign student. I wanted to do it there, cause I know I will be far away form my family and friends, but I still dont know if it is possible for me as a foreigner.
Why I chose an UK forum? Because once I tried reading some in my language but people were there just addicted to psychotropes, Prozac and many others everything was about medicaments.... I dont want to get addicted. I also found some tv series 'Help me, help my child' and there was a UK doctor i guess Dr Hayman ( dont remember her name). All that things caused me to write here, i just felt like I must write somewhere or else I am going to get mad.

I am rather a cheerful person, people like me and often tell me that they never found someone who would like everyone and would be liked by everyone.
Thats the way I am cause I would love to hate someone but my thoughts dont allow me to think or say bad things on others because I am scared it will come back to me.

My mother suspected something I guess but it was just a brief comment 'stop doing that, only weird people and geeks do it' While being around my friends or parents I manage to control OCD somehow, the scare of anyone of them getting to know is stronger.

But when I am alone I feel bad I cound I am always late cause I am putting clothes on and off on and off (4 times mostly). Logging into pages for many times. I also break down all of the bulbs because I switch off the light for the 8 times ( that one is the hardes to cover form others). I dont step on lines, I cross everything with the right foot, i rewrite, tear papers and when being really angry about my OCD I slap myself which makes me feel better sometimes...

The most frustrating thing that drives me crazy is that I KNOW that all that thoughts are STUPID SENSELESS and simply nonsense but I cant help it.

The note is so long, too long to read I know but I just wrote for the first time what bothers me...I guess Its about 10 years of it like now. Weird because the firs symptoms where when i was maybe 5 or less?

Crazy, frustrated and angry I am not even sad or depressed i guess... there is just this anger and frustration that I dont have any control.

Sorry for such a long post. Thank yo

Sat Feb 27 2010 13:35:02 #
Truddles
Member

Hi boowoo,

Well if english isn't your first language I think you're brilliant, I would never had guessed. Even we in the UK make mistakes when posting, something to do with wanting to get everything down quickly before we forget

I can understand the anger and frustration that you feel as I too have those feelings. You are not crazy though it's the OCD making you feel that way. You do have control if you stop and think about it. It's just that at the moment the control you have is about the thoughts and completing the rituals surrounding the OCD. You just need to learn how to channel the control so that you don't need to listen to your OCD.

I presume you don't have access to help at the moment so have you tried any books on OCD? Some of them are published in more than one language. On the right hand side of this page is a 'Forum topic search' box. It's a bit like Googling but for this forum. If you type in OCD books it will give you a list of topics where members suggest books on OCD.

Regardless of where you live, keep using the forum and with time you'll soon have plenty of friends on the forum that will be there for you. Just let us know how many hours ahead or behind the UK you are, so we know when you're likely to be on line

Don't ever give up

Trudy

Sat Feb 27 2010 14:20:49 #
boowooo
Member

Thanks again:) I am just 3 hours away from UK.
Its nice to hear that my english in not that bad, cause I really love this language!

I will try to find those books online ad ebooks the suggestion sounds very good to me.

The plan is that when I move to UK I would like to seek for some help with the doctors, but I am not sure if it will be possible for me as a foreigner. I am trying to search for some information on this topic right now. I just really want OCD to be over so I think I am determined enough to seek for help there.
I just hope I will have enough courage to say out loud I have OCD without being anonymous. I didnt have time to seek in this forum but does anyone of the forum guys are on the Therapy? Or meds?

Best wieshes!

Sat Feb 27 2010 17:07:02 #
Truddles
Member

Go to Hot Tags on the right of this page and click on CBT or Treatment and you'll find people that have talked about the various treatments.

Sat Feb 27 2010 17:11:29 #
Unregistered

Hi boowooo, welcome. I'm 18 too, btw, and I'm a student, so I guess I can relate to you in that way. I also hide much of my condition from my family and friends, especially my parents as they don't understand, like your mother they tell me to stop doing things as they see it as weird. I've got a lot of support from people on here though instead, and you can too, so you don't have to be alone. Post anytime you want and send me a personal message if you wish, which you can do by clicking on Send Message under my name.

Helen

P.S. Your English is very good!

Sat Feb 27 2010 17:22:24 #
freddy
Member

Hi Boowoo,
Welcome.
I only joined the forum recently, but already I feel comforted knowing that I can relate and interact with people who know what I'm going through.

By the way, your English is very good.

Regards,
Freddy

Sat Feb 27 2010 18:07:34 #
boowooo
Member

Thank you all:) ill just add I am a girl cause I dont know if its shown somewhere. good luck!

Sat Feb 27 2010 18:21:03 #