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What Do You Think?

(25 posts) (8 voices)

Started 3 years ago by DEAD!
Latest reply from brennie
This topic is Not a support question

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DEAD!
Blocked

Hi Everyone.

I got a letter yesterday to make an appointment at a CBT centre in Newcastle
That's not what I asked about when I went to the doctors - so the nurse probably couldn't see me

I was ok with that because my friend told me it was suppossed to be pretty good - she hadn't been there though
So I thought it was probably mostly for OCD and similar things
Then I checked where it was later, because my boyfriend didn't know where it was either

So I found out that centre is for everything and 1 of those things is drug addiction
It's usually always heroin - so that means sharing needles and then HIV

Now I don't know what to do, I don't want to touch the door handles even with gloves on and I don't want my boyfriend to touch them either
I don't want to go now - I don't even want to be in the same building

I spend everyday making sure that I won't get that and help stop it happening to other people - and it has worked so far
Now if I go, there is a huge chance it will happen and the last 2 years would have been a waste of time

So I wanted to know what other people though

Thanks

Nicola

Thu May 29 2008 11:31:34 #
DEAD!
Blocked

Needle Exchange as well

I don't think anyone with the same thing as me is going to be there
The doctors was bad enough - but that's just

Thu May 29 2008 13:04:36 #
stevieb
Member

Hello Nicola

I can understand how you're worried about going to that centre, but its still worth a try. Don't be afraid of the HiV and drugs, door handles, etc. You won't catch Hiv from a doorhandle, unless it was covered with infected blood, and you had an open wound on your own hand, but even then the chances would be very slim. Just generally, you needn't worry, but I understand, as I suffer with that one a bit myself.

And there won't be any needle sharing going on there, as it's a centre to help people with drug problems and HIV. The medical staff would use clean needles for each patient, if they were taking a blood sample from one. And you won't need to have a blood test yourself, anyway, if you're just there to talk about your OCD. Explain your concerns to your CBT counseller.

I don't know if I gave you the number for the national AIDS helpline, think I did. Here it is again if you need it: 0800 567 123.

Have a chat with them, I'm sure they'll be happy to put your mind at ease.

I understand your fears, Nicola, I've been there too, but try not to be worried, okay?

Let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,
Steve x

Thu May 29 2008 19:01:01 #
Hester
Member

Hi Nicola,

I wrote out a reply to this earlier today, but my dad made me restart my computer before I'd finished
I'll try to remember what I wrote previously, but it's probably not going to be the same really.

First of all, Steve is totally right. You can't catch HIV that way, although your nerves and ocd might keep telling you that you can. You really can't, but I understand that feeling and how worried you must be. Since it's a professional CBT centre, they'll be sure to keep it clean. You said that your friend said it was supposed to be good, so that's a good sign. It means that if it has a good reputation, it should be a nice clean place.

The centre is for lots of things, so they'll definitely have had their fair share of OCD patients pass through. They know what they're doing and they'll understand OCD too. You should definitely do your best to try and go there. It might be scary, but you won't get HIV! You'll just get the help that you need to conquer those OCD demons that are making you feel this worried.

Good luck hun! You can do it!
Hester xx

Thu May 29 2008 19:55:43 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi nicola!

I read this earlier but wasn't sure what to say as I would feel anxious in that situation too! But I was just thinking that the drug addicts rehabilitation or whatever would most likely be on a different day or different part of building perhaps anyway? So you may never have contact with them in anycase! CBT is very hard to get in this country and you can wait ages to get it so I woudl try and be brave and make the appointment. Could you visit the place first to see what it looks like? Maybe with a friend?

Luv natasha

Thu May 29 2008 21:10:15 #
DEAD!
Blocked

Thanks Everyone

Well I sent the form back to make an appointment

When I found out about that - from what I read it does sound like the opening times and days are the same for both CBT and needle exchanging and whatever else and it looks like the same building - and I think that's really weird, because anything could happen.

Now I'm not going to be comfortable going at all - but maybe it would be better if I phone or email them
I'm going to ask my friend about it though - she knows more than me

Thanks for the number Steve - I phoned them last time you gave me it as well

This is my own fault though if I hadn't stopped seeing the psychologist - I wouln't even have to think about going

Nicola

Sat May 31 2008 12:00:16 #
pinky
Member

HI

I am new to this site and this forum. I have just been familiarising myself with the site and have come across this message. Apologies for butting in but this touched a nerve with me. I have just finished a twelve week group CBT session. I can honestly say that if you can find a way to get through the door it will be so worth it, I have found it so useful. I have been trapped by my OCD for years going round and round in a cycle. Although I still have a long way to go I have learnt so much from the sessions, it has given me a better understanding of OCD and what power i attribute to my thoughts and rituals. I have learnt lots of strategies for coping with this and will continue to work through it.

Maybe you should give the centre a call and speak to them about the difficulties you have with the venue. It may be possible for someone to meet you outside or to at least open the door for so that you can concentrate on the CBT. You need to keep in mind that the people at the centre are used to OCD and will be understnding of the problems you are experiencing.

I have worked within one of these community clinics and although they have all services within one building they are quite seperately operated. You will probably find that the place you are going will be quite seperate once you get beyond reception. Its also important to remember that the needle exchange has very tight guidleines around it and generally people who go to needle exchanges are being responsible by making sure they use clean needles so are going to take care with the needles they have used, they most likely won't be accpet unnless they are contained in a locked sharps bin because the staff need to protect themselves too so they will only accept needles in a very safe way.

In the same clinic we had an HIV department but this was purely a supportive therapeutic service. No tests were carried out there, they would be carried out at a general hospital.

I do understand your concerns about contracting HIV, I went through similar fears. HIV is actually suprisingly difficult to contract. A door handle would not give you HIV. I am sure that the HIV helpline will be able to confirm this to you.

Sorry to have gone on for long but I just wanted to make sure that you know that the benefits of CBT will be worth the raised anxiety, as hard as that may.

I wish you so much luck and hope that you can make it to the sessions.

Mel

x

Sun Jun 1 2008 8:53:50 #
brennie
Member

Hi Pinky, first of all a very big welcome to our friendly forum, i would just like to say your advice to NIC is excellent and as you said we all wish her success in the CBT she desperately needs.

luv brennie x

Sun Jun 1 2008 10:36:41 #
pinky
Member

Hi Brennie

Thanks for your kind welcome, I am only just getting used to be open about my OCD so this will be an excellent place to do it with people who really understand.

Pinky
x

Sun Jun 1 2008 11:38:21 #
brennie
Member

Pinky, i kept my OCD a secret for many many years, the best thing i have ever done is to open up about everything to do with my OCD and how it affects us.
You have found an excellent forum that will always be here to understand and empathise with your anxieties.

Keep in touch and remember we are all in the same boat so NOTHING you say will ever shock us

love brennie x

Sun Jun 1 2008 11:49:55 #
Unregistered

Dear Nicola, Sorry that it looks like I have been ignoring you, and I know how much worry this is causing you. You know my views, I wish I could just take the fear away for you, but you must follow your own feelings on this. If you decide not to go, do please tell your doctor why and ask to have therapy like before. Only you know if this is too much for you to face. I would make enquiries, though, as Mel made some good points about the probable set-up.

Love, Tricia x
P.S. Welcome, Mel, sorry this is such a brief message.
P.P.S. Bren, sorry I am ignoring you, too. I think what we discussed is happening and I am feeling very, very rough. Got through yesterday, but only just. Will explain more soon. Hope you are feeling less stressed. Sorry this reads like a telegram! xxxx

Sun Jun 1 2008 17:21:59 #
DEAD!
Blocked

I've been thinking about this most of this morning.
There are a lot of things to think about, I'll have to go with my boyfriend â then get back into his car â with the same clothes and shoes.
Then he'll be wearing the same clothes to my house and his house â then if those germs are in the car and then in the house â it's never going to be ok.

Then there's the people I'll be walking past â the door handles and although I'm going to sound like an idiot the air â I don't want to breathe the same air

I'll phone them though

Welcome to the forum Pinky and thanks for the reply

Mon Jun 2 2008 13:39:27 #
anxiousgal
Member

Hi Nic!
Remember HIV/AIDS can only be transmitted by direct contact with blood the chances of therebeing any actually wet blood for you to get contaminated with in a health centre are extremely remote, to be honest you have more chance of finding blood on the street! It can't get into the air or live on clothing/objects as far as I know. I'm not sure what else to say. I do understand the contamination fears because I fear contamination myself but you won't catch AIDS from that centre.I think there's two ways you can go a)let the fear control you and not go to appointment or b)use it as an opportunity to fight back at your fear.

Luv Natasha

Mon Jun 2 2008 20:37:11 #
brennie
Member

NIC, i am so sorry you are in this turmoil sweetheart, but i do understand your fears even though you must know they are irrational / excessive , but you cant help these fears NIC because they are real to YOU and this is your OCD fear.

Natasha is right you only have two choices, GO or NOT !! none of us can tell you what to do but i really hope you get the courage and go to this appointment.

love brennie x

Mon Jun 2 2008 23:50:13 #
stevieb
Member

Hello Nic

Yes, just go to your appointment, you'll probably find its not as scary as you first thought, and after you've had a good talk with your counsellor, you'll feel a lot better, and actually be glad that you went.

Fear is one of these things which has to be confronted in order for it to go away.

By going, you'll be taking a step forward, so do go for your appointment, its important for you to.

All the best,
Steve x

Tue Jun 3 2008 10:22:44 #
brennie
Member

NIC, how are you today hun ?

love brennie x

Tue Jun 3 2008 14:44:24 #
OCDLONELY
Member

Hello Nic

I'm so sorry this has got you so worried. I too would have the same fears as you. I do hope you go to your appointment though. I wish you all the best

OCDLONELY

Tue Jun 3 2008 19:22:42 #
Unregistered

Dear Nicola, you are not sounding like an idiot, I am also afraid of breathing the air in certain places.

I do appreciate what other people have said, that fear has to be faced in order for it to go away, BUT facing fear doesn't necessarily lead to that outcome. I know that you are not just afraid of catching AIDS you are also terrified of the contamination as well. I realize that although you know that you can't develop HIV from 'old' blood, you are still revolted by it and afraid of it.

We are all different, what will give immense relief to one person may unfortunately cause more suffering to another (as Professor Frederick Toates has said in his book). The problem is, the only way to beat fear is by facing it and yet by doing so we can sometimes end up feeling traumatized by the experience, if the fear doesn't leave us.

Nicola, can you ask to see Doug again? Have you explained to your doctor just how afraid you are of going to this building?

Also, how do you feel now about that visit to the hospital, how did you feel immediately afterwards and how long was it before the fear subsided? Are you any more comfortable with the stain on the seat belt?

I still feel that you and I both need the best possible cognitive therapy, before any more exposure. We have to somehow change our way of thinking. Remember what I was told by a psychologist at the Maudsley. I could face exposure therapy every day for the rest of my life and still be afraid. Gritting our teeth and getting through a situation is not necessarily going to make us any better at all, we have to view things differently (when I find a way to do that I will of course share it with you!).

Because we all respond differently, none of us here can really advise you. I certainly can't. I do know that you need help, but only you can find out what works best for you. Of course I must stress that the level of fear you are experiencing is not an indication that you won't respond well to exposure, because many people who are terrified do find the fear quickly subsides when they face it.

Love, Tricia x

Wed Jun 4 2008 11:21:54 #
anxiousgal
Member

Nic

Have you considered joining a local OCD support group? If there is one in your area? Because there you meet all kinds of people with OCD and can share experience/fears. Also have you tried self-help books on OCD/CBT and see how you get on with that first?You don't' have to see a therapist if you are not ready. I'd go back to your Doctor and tell them you can't face going to this place, your fear is too great.I think that's what I woudl do.

Luv natasha

Wed Jun 4 2008 11:47:03 #
DEAD!
Blocked

Thanks Everyone

I emailed them and its seperate It's close to where I'm going but not the same building
I'm so happy and friend said it is really good there, so I won't worry so much now

I have an assessment on the 9th June - in the morning

Tricia - the seatbelt - still not ok with that - I hate wearing it, I haven't seen any other marks though
Thats exactly it - I'm not always worried I'm going to catch something - its just the fact it's there and how I feel

Natasha - I don't think there are any support groups near where I live - I do have a book though

So I'm going to go on Monday - I'll let you know how it goes

Nicola

Wed Jun 4 2008 14:39:18 #
Hester
Member

Hi Nicola,

I'm glad that you're not worried as much now! Yay for you!
Good luck at your assesment. You'll be okay!

Hester xx

Wed Jun 4 2008 16:49:23 #
anxiousgal
Member

[quote="NIC_06":3i1sanlz]Thanks Everyone

I emailed them and its seperate It's close to where I'm going but not the same building
I'm so happy and friend said it is really good there, so I won't worry so much now

I have an assessment on the 9th June - in the morning

Tricia - the seatbelt - still not ok with that - I hate wearing it, I haven't seen any other marks though
Thats exactly it - I'm not always worried I'm going to catch something - its just the fact it's there and how I feel

Natasha - I don't think there are any support groups near where I live - I do have a book though

So I'm going to go on Monday - I'll let you know how it goes

Nicola

Hi there!

Sorry to hear there are no support groups, that surprises me actually. That's good news about the place where the CBT is! I think I mentioned that it would probably be seperate! I must admit it did sound odd that it's be in same building form the start! Yes let us know how you get on!

Luv Natasha

Wed Jun 4 2008 19:57:49 #
Unregistered

That's very good news, Nicola. I'm really glad they are separate buildings and that you'll be able to go for therapy. Do explain about the seat belt and how you still feel afraid even of old stains that you know you can't catch anything from. It's important that the therapist understands exactly how you feel.

Good luck, I'll be thinking of you!

Love, Tricia x

P.S. If you give OCD Action a call they will be able to tell you what groups, if any, are in your area.

Thu Jun 5 2008 8:36:41 #
DEAD!
Blocked

Thanks

It was just way it was on the website, it definitely said it was the same building
I had a look on this site and there is a support group - the same place I'm going to lol

Yeah Tricia - I'll tell them everything

Nicola

Thu Jun 5 2008 15:31:58 #
brennie
Member

Nic, its great news that it is a seperate building ... its a little less anxiety for you , and its good to know that at the same place there is a support group , ask about everything ! and as your good friend Tricia has said " tell em' everything " because it is ALL very important that you do , good luck and take good care Nic,

love brennie x

p.s. you will be kewl on the day you go

Thu Jun 5 2008 22:56:45 #

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