OCD Action

Mike
Member

Hi Everyone,
I'm sorry to say that my New Year's has been extremely rough, at least partly because of the OCD. Something happened on New Year's Eve that spiked my OCD fears and when I woke up not only did I feel very anxious, but also very sad and depressed. My OCD fears have to do with relationships, and I've recently been very unsuccessful in my attempts to meet someone, and have dealt with a lot of rejection. I was really hoping to meet someone on NYE, at least to share the celebration with, but it didn't happen, and I woke up the next day feeling anxious, and extremely lonely. I'm constantly battling thoughts that tell me that I must be unattractive or unworthwhile to be rejected so much, that this may mean that I'm going to continue having trouble meeting someone, and I'm still feeling this combination of emotions today. I was wondering, have any of you had problems with sadness/depression as the primary emotion, instead of anxiety? I don't know if I'm feeling this way because the problem is deeper than just the OCD, or if the OCD is indirectly causing me to feel this way.

Anyway, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'm having a very hard time just staying awake, and all I feel that I can do is stay in bed.

Tue Jan 3 2012 1:49:11 #
blueboy
Member

Hello mike i sympathise... i too have been going through hell... with my s.a.d disorder...is a good word for it... i have slept most of this winter so far... even today ,or rather yesterday i didnt rise until around 10pm... i did see some sun come through my bedroom curtains about noon... but wasnt inspired to rise... its just not strong enough for me... its very debilitating ...i have it severely and sounds like you too... i will be talking to my doc soon about it... dont know if you are on meds? im not sure if they add to the prob...but i think you may need discuss yours too...in my opinion all this lack of light contributes to ocd.. and sleepiness...certainly when i was in say italy or portugal... i felt my true self...im sure its not about you, only about what is affecting you... let us know how you go? PAUL.

Tue Jan 3 2012 2:49:22 #
Tess
Member

Hi Mike
I'm so sorry you're feeling low and that your hoped for meeting didn't materialise. Depression and OCD are common bed partners and there is a lot of debate about which comes first, whether they are co-morbid or whether the depression results from trying to cope with the OCD. I have found that if I fight my OCD too hard it will bite me back with depression and then lack of motivation kicks in big time. I think you are far from alone in how you are feeling but what really matters is how best to get through it and ideally come out the other end stronger.
My advice is to cultivate your own talents and battle the loneliness by getting out and meeting people in an environment in which you feel comfortable. Trying to find a special relationship is a bit like chasing a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if you wait patiently it will come and rest on your shoulder.

Tue Jan 3 2012 11:40:42 #
BT
Member

Paul, I think your SAD will be severe if you sleep throughout the day. I realise you won’t wake up and feel like jumping out of bed and going for a brisk walk, because you are so low. But, you need to set your alarm and really try to get up early, even though you won’t want to. It’s the only way to break the vicious cycle. Once you are into the routine and benefiting from some daylight and exercise you may well notice a big change. I know it will be extremely difficult to begin with but it’s worth trying and persevering with. I believe you mentioned on another thread about stopping alcohol. That is also important because it will only add to your depression.

Tue Jan 3 2012 13:28:56 #
Mike
Member

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I do notice that the ONLY time I feel depressed and unmotivated is directly after the OCD has struck, so I think that's pretty good evidence of a connection. I've never been diagnosed with depression, luckily, but I do get a bout of it sometimes after a few rough days with the OCD.

Tue Jan 3 2012 20:00:43 #
Unregistered

Hi Mike,

I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling depressed. I suffered from severe depression for 20 years (on and off), and I'm hoping it's in my past now, but it's one of those things I'll have to take a day at a time...

My OCD came first. I believe I've had some degree of OCD since I was quite a young child, and it reached its peak when I was about 18 or 19. I didn't suffer from depression until I was about 20, and then it came and went for the next 2 decades. Depression is different to OCD, but both can be Hell.

I've just finished reading a great OCD book: "Break Free From OCD”, by Dr Fiona Challacombe, Dr Victoria Bream, and Professor Paul Salkovskis.

After reading your post, I opened it up and looked for what the authors had to say about depression. They say the following: "Depression often results from having OCD. The level of restriction and interference that OCD causes means that the majority of people with OCD have secondary depression..."

(I assume by that they mean that, at some stage in their lives, OCD sufferers experience secondary depression.)

Depression definitely followed OCD in my own case. (It was like a dog and its master, for me. OCD was the master, and depression was the obedient dog, always just a few steps behind.)

I've really got a lot out of your recent posts, Mike. I can't thank you enough for mentioning Dr Jonathan Grayson. I've read the first chapter of his book, and his website, and I absolutely love his approach to OCD.

As you've gained a lot from Dr Grayson's approach, have you considered using the same techniques for your depression?

What I mean is, if you treat the depression as a result of "uncertainty" (e.g. uncertainty that you will find another partner), then you could try using the same techniques that you would if the uncertainty led to a fear.

Just an idea. Let me know if you've already tried doing that.

You asked if anyone has experienced other emotions in the place of anxiety, such as sadness or depression.

In response to your question, I can personally say a resounding "yes". Anxiety is only one of the emotions that my OCD has led to in my life. My OCD has also caused extreme feelings of sadness; hopelessness; shame; guilt; self-hatred; and lots of other feelings, like sickness (that sick feeling in your gut, when you believe something terrible about yourself), and other emotions...

I personally found that different types of OCD obsessions led to different emotions. For example, fears about germs and contamination led to feelings of physical disgust, not fear. Sexual thoughts led to feelings of self-hatred and self-disgust. Violent thoughts led to sick feelings, and shame. Thoughts about crashing my car led to fear and anxiety...

So each different type of obsession (and I've had lots of different ones in my lifetime) tended to lead to one type of emotional feeling, but that feeling was only anxiety for some of the obsessions. For other obsessions, there was some anxiety, but stronger than the anxiety was shame, or disgust, or revulsion, or self-hatred...or something else, depending on the obsession.

For me, depression became as big a problem as the OCD. Depression was what I knew I had. OCD was what was underneath it, and was the cause of the depression -- but my OCD was undiagnosed for many years, and so was left untreated.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

All the best.

Tue Jan 3 2012 21:47:47 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Everyone, Hi Mike, here's hoping you're feeling better soon...
Wannabe

Tue Jan 3 2012 22:03:10 #
slogsweep
Member

Hello Mike,

You've greatly helped me combat the OCD, so I can only offer some advice in return. Depression is a real nasty comorbid illness with OCD. Trapped both by panic and lethargia I'm sure you know what I mean.

Set yourself little do-able targets, write them down somewhere. For every one you manage, treat yourself. When I did twenty targets in succession I treated myself to a video game for example. It could be what time you're up and ready out of bed by, or a small job that needs to be done, what meals you're eating, anything.

If you need help to beat the depression message me anytime, it's the least I can do.

Slog

Tue Jan 3 2012 23:13:52 #
Mike
Member

Londoner,

I don't think ERP can be used for depression because with depression anxiety is not the primary emotion. Exposure only helps you cope with fears, not sadness. I think cognitive therapy would probably be more helpful for depression, and in fact, I think that's what cognitive therapy was designed to treat in the first place.

Wed Jan 4 2012 1:57:57 #
BT
Member

Aaron T. Beck did develop cognitive therapy for treating depression. Mindfulness is another approach that is effective for many.

Wed Jan 4 2012 12:24:14 #
Mike
Member

I'm lucky to have Aaron Beck and his center for cognitive therapy at my university. Also, Edna Foa, who is one of the most well known ERP advocates, has a center for anxiety disorders here, and Jon Grayson, another ERP and OCD expert practices at another location in Philadelphia.

Wed Jan 4 2012 17:04:38 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Mike, wow! You get to walk in some brilliant places! Have heard of Aaron Beck from books I've read, and didn't realise he was still around. Mind you most of the people championing CBT are still around, and still developing this amazing method to assist recovery from OCD. I'm also just about to reach for some chocolate!
Wannabe

Wed Jan 4 2012 20:32:53 #