not for me
-
Yes there is. I got better. You can too. I believe that everyone on this site can improve and most can recover, I wouldn't bother posting if I didn't.
Medication, therapy, self help books, doctors, are all out there. You aren't the only person with this illness. 2-3% of the population have it, and I believe many more just don't know,
Blueboy, I know you're hurting, but there are things you can do. Go see the doctor. Discuss your concerns anout medication and get the treatment that you deserve and that can help you.
Hugs
David
Sat Apr 30 2011 19:10:25 # -
I am totally with David on this one you really do need to see your doctor blueboy in fact in might be an idea if your doctors is like mine to book a double appointment as sometimes the normal ten minute slots arent always long enough. Also worth writing down your symptons and worries. In fact just write down anything you feel you will need to know.
I know from previous posts that you are not keen about medication (sorry if i got that wrong) but i strongly believe that any side effects that the medication MAY have are put into perspective by the help you will be receiving from the medication. One thing you do need to be prepared for is that a lot of the medication for ocd does take quite some weeks to kick in.
Your post title is There is no hope well i can tell you that there is hope for all of us in my opinion it is just a matter of finding the right course of action. What works for one doesnt necessarily work for another. Some people on one medication may not do so well as others and vice versa.
I really do feel for you Blueboy as i have read all your posts recently and know that things cant be easy. What i do say is to ask you one question "What have you got to lose by giving medication a try" i will now give you an answer "you have nothing to lose but everything to gain". Dont get me wrong i am not saying that medication is the be all and end all and happy ever after but what i am trying to say is that taking medication for ocd is a bit like using arm bands to help you swim. Medication is not a magic pill that will make your ocd disappear overnight but it is in my opinion better than not being on medication. To be totally honest when i came off my medication last year because i thought i could cope it took some time but eventually i hit the point where the medication was out of my system and i was a right mess, very depressed and totally at the end of my tether with the ocd and in honesty i was ready to admit myself to hospital. A few months down the line i wont lie to you i am not remarkably cured or anything like that (if only|) but without the medication i know for a fact that i would be in a worse position as regards the ocd. From my posts you will tell that i have been struggling but i suppose at the end of the day if the meds help me to cope no matter how much or how little, something is better than nothing. Believe me i dont like being on meds but its the only way for me.
Sorry for the long post but i knew what i wanted to say although its a bit long winded. Please go see your doctor even if its just to talk things through and he or she can go through some options of what to do next with you.
All i am saying is give it a try.
We are all here for you also and will be able to support you on the group.
Take care and remember you are not alone in this fight against ocd.
Liz xx
Sat Apr 30 2011 20:30:19 # -
David you said in your post that you got better from ocd. I dont recall hearing or reading about how you managed to overcome this horrible monster. If you are happy to could you please post some of how your story goes as i would be most interested to hear about it. Also did i also hear that your son is on the forum? Does he have ocd or has he managed to overcome the moster also. Please dont think i am being nosy its just that i dont often get the chance to talk to people who are recovering so as to speak.
Regards liz
Sun May 1 2011 15:53:53 # -
Liz,
I have not suffered from the monster myself, but I have shown sympathetic symptoms and I was getting anxious about checking things, such as taps being left running and doors being locked. I also got some panic attacks during school. I don't get them any more, now that dad is better.Andrew
Sun May 1 2011 16:44:13 # -
just read these posts now... i was so far gone last night that i forgot i had posted this...BIG thanks to david and Tizz... for your much appreciated and continued support..
Yes Tizz, i am scared of meds.... but i am still thinking it over...i dont do anything lightly ..because i have already had a vey bleak past... and through my ocd made very wrong decisions..i am so washed out at present ... i oft times dont go to bed until 6am..i am very scared at this period of my life.Sun May 1 2011 22:17:56 # -
Blueboy, why not weigh up what is worse- not being certain about 'the thought' or how you feel right now? You deserve more than this, living with this worry and anxiety.
Tue May 3 2011 8:42:30 # -
Paul
I thought you said you had started CBT, how is it going? I'm concerned about you because you seem to have reached a brick wall and somehow you have to get yourself over it to be able to get better. Going to bed at 6am, sleeping half the day and drowning your sorrows when everyone else is asleep is not going to get you across that wall, in fact it will just make the hole even bigger with a tougher climb out.
There are a lot of people on this forum who have negotiated their own brick walls - I had one in front of me for two decades until SSRIs came onto the market, and they got me over it. Life on the other side is not a bed of roses but it is a life and not an existence which is where you seem to be at now.
People are trying to help you, you have been prescribed sertraline which you won't take so you are restricting your options. I'm sorry if this sounds hard but however much others try to help the only person who can really change your life for the better is you. We are all willing you to do it, you just need to start with that one small step to improve your life.Tue May 3 2011 9:14:52 # -
Thanks to everyone... Tess, David, Sweeteater, Brennie,
i understand all that you say about meds... but i feel torn between the NEED for them and the fact that if i do take them and i get further damage to my body then i had only myself to blame... and i will pour all that guilt onto myself ..to add to the guilt i already feel regarding this awful continuous thought ..i just need to find something natural i think... i will try the st john's wort again.. but i am desperate...to make a change... i get so anxious i am literaly disabled.. i think about doing things but rarely do them...i am as you say, Tess, at a brick wall...
but i feel for sure that i am either going to find a natural alternative soon or i WILL take those meds... i cant live or exist, rather, like this any longer.. i appreciate all the support you are offering it means a lot.. i thought i was going off the rails a couple of months back..
Wed May 4 2011 15:02:09 # -
Hi Paul,
Just wanted to say that I believe that there is hope for all of us. It' just that sometimes are harder than others, a bit like a rollercoaster ride.
I sympathise with you as I also suffer from intrusive thoughts on a daily basis and sometimes they are so relentless and are with me every minute of every day and I need intervention from the crisis team.
I haven't found a medication yet to alleviate the intrusive thoughts but I believe that medication certainly helps to dampen them down so think you should give it a try.
Do you think the fact that you drink alcohol may have an influence on the reason why you don't want to take medication, because as far as I know you shouldn,t drink whilst on anti-depressants, just a thought.
Anyway I hope you can recover from the thought that plagues you or at least for it not to cause you so much distress and enable you to lead your life.
Regards
Wed May 4 2011 18:10:17 # -
To quote something I have seen on many OCD Action leaflets and publications - "There is hope and together we can conquer OCD".
I believe there is hope and there have been many examples given here on the forum to prove it. So don't give up as there is always hope and although it may take some time, and that will always be far too long, things can only get better. OK, so it is easy for me to say that as you think that I don't have your problems at present - and of course your are right - but I do have my problems and I hope they will get better as I hope yours do.
Hope alone is one valuable thing but if you add to that a positive attitude then things can only go in the right direction. I am not saying that is a "cure all", far from it but it helps, believe me it helps.
Wed May 4 2011 20:06:29 # -
What you are experiencing, Blueboy, is not uncommon even though it may seem that no-one else has experienced and felt what you're feeling- the OCD is doing that to you. You have the support of many people on the forum and we're thinking of you- you are not alone in this. The CBT may take time to get going or to touch on the things that are of deep concern, but it will help. There is help out there- the way you've been feeling lately is the culmination of all the anxiety caused by the OCD and the 'thought' (I was reading a book about anxiety and OCD by Adrian Wells yesterday that described another patient with that 'thought' that you have described on here). The way you have felt in recent weeks is due to the illness and there is help for that so hang on in there and know that you have huge support here
Thu May 5 2011 6:48:08 # -
Thanks Nimrod and Sweeteater,Aishah,Tess
i find that anxiety alone in some ways is stopping me doing things.. even though that horrible thought is to the back of my mind.. i pass a day simply on my computer ...i havent the courage to get up and do much..though a lot needs doing.. i feel if i could ease this anxiety ..even if i took something natural for anxiety ..maybe that would be a start.. i have been recommended bach "white chestnut"(by Tricia) i want to give that a try..this thought is destroying my life... i hadnt quite realised until recently... that i had just guided my whole life around the thought.. not made proper decisions... and so came into bad conditions ..it is a killer really... because if you think you have killed someone
and you are a person (by nature) who wouldnt hurt a fly.. then you got real conflict going on inside your head..it is an awful experience..interesting book you mentioned ,Sweeteater..i think i need to read other people's experiences with this kind of thought.. i do feel on my own with this one.. and i do know i am getting enormous support here.. but if i could only understand why i feel i killed someone... i mean.. i want to think normaly... that i didnt kill someone... so that i can breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy my life :(Aishah,would love to know more how you cope..PAUL.
Thu May 5 2011 11:16:26 # -
As Nimrod and so many others have said there is always hope
With OCD we’re the only people that can improve our OCD. CBT, medication, Psychiatrists and psychologists can only help and guide us. The real work has to be done by us.
Continually dwelling on the thought or the past isn’t doing you any good, neither is sitting in front of the computer all day, going to bed at 6 am and drinking a whole bottle of wine, in fact they’re all contributing to dragging you down further. You need to find things to distract you and keep you occupied.
We have to concentrate on the positives and not the negatives and if we all think long and hard there are many positives to our lives however small. My life is full of negatives but when I sat down and had a good think I was able to come up with an equally long list of positives despite the fact that I have OCD that has a severe impact on my life.
So you need to set yourself a timetable for the day to force yourself back into some sort of routine. You also need to set yourself some small realistic goals for each day, as every time that you are able to achieve a goal and tick it off your list it will do wonders for your confidence and self esteem. I have multiple physical problems that exacerbate and make dealing with the OCD extremely difficult as have some of the others on the forum but we never give up hope. Ok we have our down days but then pick ourselves up by setting goals, working to achieve them and so do our best to continue. There are days when I’d love to curl up in bed but can’t because of the OCD and so just have to carry on trying to achieve the goals that I’ve set. It’s hard but it’s the only way to beat the bully.
Find yourself a voluntary job, it would give you human contact rather than just contact via the computer, it would give you a reason to get up each day and it will help you to feel better about yourself as you’d be helping others. We all need to feel that we’re of use to others.
You haven’t told us how you’re getting on with your CBT. How’s it going and are you getting any homework to do?
Thu May 5 2011 12:13:02 # -
Thanks Truddles,
i know you are right... but i think i need to calm down my anxiety in order to do other things...so thats what i am working on first...the right "medication" natural if possable..the guilt is killing me..and the anxiety is fanning it..I have been to cbt around four times now.. but as yet we have not discussed ocd.Thu May 5 2011 12:18:48 # -
And the only way to calm down the anxiety is to keep yourself occupied, when we're not occupied our minds can go into overdrive and think all sorts.
SSRIs are safer than many 'natural' medications including alcohol as there has been far more research into them and they are far better regulated. But nothing works if you don't start doing for yourself. We can all wallow in our OCD but it gets us nowhere we have to start kicking it up the backside in order to regain our lives. And it is possible, it takes some time and a lot of hard work but it can be done.
We might not be able to necessarily get rid of the OCD, but so long as we strive to improve our quality of life then the OCD gradually retreats.
So start thinking of you and not the OCD, remember you are not OCD you just have OCD.Thu May 5 2011 12:26:50 # -
Medication can certainly help you to calm down and then you will be able to deal with the thought and with the real world.
I haven't up until now been able to use medication because of my epilepsy, but the neurologist is going to look into this for me and if he's able to find something that will help without lowering my seizure threshold and won't interact with the medications that I'm on I will willing try it. I'm willing to try anything that will help with my OCD.
One thing that you have to take into serious consideration is that stress can really damage your health and so anything that helps reduce the stress can't be bad. Medication like CBT can be an excellent tool to help you fight the OCD.
When you're anxious and depressed it's hard to make a decision.So let May 2011 be the month that you decide to seriously knock the c**p out of your OCD using every available tool that you have.
If I remember correctly you were on St John's Wort - don't take it with any SSRIs and speak to your pharmacist about how long you should be off the St John's Wort before commencing SSRIs as the two don't mix. Were you on it when you took that one tablet of Sertraline?
Thu May 5 2011 13:06:38 # -
Hi Truddles... thanks.. for this support... no i was off st.john's when i took one sertraline... i was off a good few months... i must say ..the sertraline did act quickly ... and i felt less able to dwell on the thought.
i'm scared though... about it's affect on my body..Thu May 5 2011 13:33:50 # -
Life is scary for everyone.
i must say ..the sertraline did act quickly ... and i felt less able to dwell on the thought.
i'm scared though... about it's affect on my body..
If it helped with only one day then give it a go. Just think of the potential benefits of being able to not dwell on the thoughts - you could get your life back.
It's your anxiety and depression that's making you think of thousand and one reasons for not taking the medication. Once you've been on it for a while and are able to think more clearly things wont seem so frightening. Many are on medication with no problems but are clearly seeing the benefits.
As for natural medications some of them have horrific side effects, natural doesn't equate with being safer especially as there hasn't been much research done into a lot of them to determine side effects and safety, though this is starting to change.
Also many conventional medications started off using plants etc. I take thyroxine which started off as thyroid extract from animal thyroids but it didn't produce consistent results as the quantity of available thyroxine varied from batch to batch so they started manufacturing a synthetic form which is now used today which is far safer for the patient.
But what it all boils down to is this - Do you really want your life back?Thu May 5 2011 14:02:54 # -
Truddles, yes i want a life... i am not sure i ever really had a complete life... only an existence..i am desperate to live... without guilt and remorse..i didnt want to kill anyone... i did all to avoid it... but magic thinking is my curse ...because everything is possable in that.
Thu May 5 2011 17:07:34 #
Reply »
You must log in to post.
OCD Action Forums
Key
- Forum section
- New post in forum
- Topic post
- New post in topic
- Announcement, important
- Support Question
- Resolved Support Question
- Locked topic
- Hot topic
- Bold text denotes an unread post in topic or forum area.
OCD Action Forums
Forum Topic Search
Achievements
OCD At School
OCD At School
The OCD at School Project aims to provide support to young people with OCD in secondary schools in the Greater London area.
Make A Donation
Make A Donation
We rely solely on generous donations to ensure that we can keep our work going.
Resource Centre
Resource Centre
Support and information resources, find out more OCD related books, find external resources, and articles.
Helpline: 0845 390 6232 / 020 7253 2664
Helpline email: support@ocdaction.org.uk
Office: 020 7253 5272
Office email: office@ocdaction.org.uk
© 2008 - 2009 OCD Action, Registered charity No: 1035213.
Suite 506-507 Davina House, 137-149 Goswell Road, London EC1V 7ET.
Designed by Obscuresounds Ltd.