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The Jigsaw Puzzle

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  1. A blonde phones her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't work out how to get started.'

    Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

    The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

    Her boyfriend, who is very understanding and knows she is a bit on the dumb side, even for a blonde, decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

    'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

    He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
    nice cup of tea, and then 'he said with a deep sigh -

    .
    .

    'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
    Thu Oct 8 2009 12:35:44 #
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    Unregistered

    LMAO!!!!!!

    Sun Aug 1 2010 23:09:46 #
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    Unregistered

    I like this so much that I migt need to use it for my story....

    Wed Aug 4 2010 20:44:18 #
  4. She's at it again . . .

    A man was in his front garden mowing the lawn when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

    She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

    A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

    As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

    Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

    To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'

    My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

    Wed Aug 4 2010 21:10:16 #
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    Unregistered

    I FOUND THIS ONE ON THE NET, IT'S FUNNY SO I'LL PASTE IT.

    *******

    There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

    The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

    Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

    Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

    The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

    Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

    EDIT: Another.

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
    these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
    so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
    smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
    going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

    The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
    down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
    smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
    room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
    He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
    the same time.

    He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
    what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
    that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
    painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
    over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
    directions on the paint can and they said....
    FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

    Wed Aug 4 2010 22:04:52 #

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