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Struggling and panicking - can anyone help

(21 posts) (7 voices)
  • Started 1 year ago by Subo
  • Latest reply from
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  1. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Hi everyone
    Im really really panicking aout the x ray that my one year old had- feel sick hes going to get cancer from it, as explained on my other post. Am fixating on this fear and really want to visit google again but am posting on here to stop myself. I know Ive explained all this before and people probably think it sounds crazy but its really upsetting me I cant stop worrying about it. People on here have given me great comfort and Im so grateful to them but I just cant help worrying.
    Dont know what to do

    Wed Apr 7 2010 21:19:13 #
  2. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi subo

    Thank you so much for your fantastic advice. I wish I could help you with this worry as I know what it's like to become fixated on something. I'm sure the doctors wouldn't recommend an X ray if it wasn't absolutely necessary and if there were risks attached. My partner had loads of X rays when he was young and he's fine. I can't remember what your previous posts said but is your doctor able to reassure you? I sorry you are feeling so anxious, I know how you feel

    xx

    Wed Apr 7 2010 21:25:28 #
  3. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Subo,

    Don't google it will only make your anxiety worse. One chest x ray will not cause cancer. I spent several months working in an operating theatre were we used x rays whilst doing the procedures. That was over twenty years ago and I'm still here with no cancer and a lot of the time I was standing right next to the machine. Today the dose of radiation that they use is far less than when I was working. I've also because of my various medical conditions had loads of x rays and scans and still I'm ok.

    I know given some of what you've read on the internet that you're worried and understandably so given some of what appears on the web. But just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's true.

    The x ray that your son had was to rule out a potentially serious problem it would have been very remiss of the doctors to have not done an x ray. But they wouldn't have done it if they thought it was unsafe.

    Please try to put it to one side and avoid googling. Instead live life and enjoy your son.

    Best wishes
    Trudy

    Wed Apr 7 2010 21:35:12 #
  4. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Thank you sunshine. Ive spoken to the docs but they just say the benefits outweighed the risks. This isnt good enough for me - Im not blaming them (although Im miffed as it turned out he didnt need it) -but I fail to see how this lessens the risk - if its there its there.
    Also I bought a book the other day that I thought may help me. Its all about irrationality and how most people are irrational when theres nothing to worry about - I thought it may help my thinking and calm me down. But one of the things it talks about is how people are irrational about nuclaer power and not x rays, but that nuclear power gives off the same amount of radiation as x rays and 250 people per year die as a result of unneccessary x rays. This has freaked me out massively and upset me. Plus I often find this happens - when I take steps to try and help myself - I often see the very thing I dont want to and it makes me worse, so I just feel like giving up

    Wed Apr 7 2010 21:39:56 #
  5. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Thank you Trudy xxx
    I just worry as a childs cells are developing more rapidly than an adults so there is more risk than to an adult, and also there are ore things in the chest that are sensitive to radiation, than say an arm. Do you know anyone who had a chest x ray as a baby or one year old?

    Wed Apr 7 2010 21:45:50 #
  6. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Sophie,

    A lot of the procedures were on tiny babies who were being investigated for heart problems prior to surgery and they were exposed to the equivalent of several chest x rays for each procedure.

    Trudy

    Wed Apr 7 2010 21:53:39 #
  7. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi,

    I've been racking my poor little brain to remember the statistics that we were given at a health and safety lecture and if I remember it correctly it was the following -

    We were told that to put things into perspective a plain chest x ray is roughly equivalent to what we are exposed to over a period of about 10 days due to back ground radiation. So very small in the grand scheme of things.

    Wed Apr 7 2010 22:06:24 #
  8. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Thanks so much Trudy xxx the thing is....(here I go, please bare with me...)
    I have also read this as have I read that we are exposed to more radiation when on a flight, and it comforted me, but then I thought, we are not exposed to this in one area only - it is over the whole body so the chest gets much less than this over 10 days - so surely exposing just the chest to 10 days worth is more of a risk? Especially on a child?
    Sorry but Ive thought about this in so much depth I sound like I dont want to be reassured and I really do, but it always seems like theres an issue with any reassurance I have
    AAARRRGGGGGHHH I hate my mind!

    Wed Apr 7 2010 22:15:25 #
  9. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    I've sent you a PM and will get back to you tomorrow.

    I hate my mind!
    Have mine instead, I wont even charge for the privilege
    Sleep well and try to dream of something pleasant.

    Wed Apr 7 2010 22:26:06 #
  10. Avatar Image

    Rena32
    Member

    If it helps, I am 38 years old, had over 10 x-rays, 2 cat scans and a MRI, and I am still healthy, I just went to the doctor for a full check up and I am healthy as can be. My niece age 34 has had over 30 x-rays and she is healthy too. Also remember that it is the OCD causing you to be fixated on this fear. Hope this helps.

    Thu Apr 8 2010 4:49:43 #
  11. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Thank you Rena32 xxxx This does help xxx I just worry because he is so young I suppose and they say children are more at risk than adults
    I need to remember its the ocd making me fixated, but when I see frightening things - evidence from proper paediatric medical journals, not just crazy people spouting off on the internet- it makes me think it cant be the ocd - it must be real. I always go on the internet in the hope I WONT find anything frightening, but I always do

    Thu Apr 8 2010 11:32:24 #
  12. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    I don’t think we can ever reassure ourselves 100% with this kind of situation (or any, come to that). I also understand the fact that the x-ray was unnecessary must make you feel worse, but of course the doctors didn’t know that at the time.

    One of my children had several chest x-rays at the age of four and I was very unhappy about that. He is now almost thirty and seems to have suffered no ill-effects.

    Reading will never satisfy you, we always find a piece of information to alarm us further. It’s hard being a parent with OCD, we will always over estimate the dangers our children face. We can never protect them totally, and if we did, what kind of existence would they have? I can recall how I agonized over vaccinations, convinced my children would be the ones who would suffer adverse reactions.

    Please don’t feel badly that you might come across as having ‘an issue with any reassurance’. That’s the nature of OCD and an analytical mind. We might feel a degree of comfort, but we then see another possibility, another worry. We desperately want to be reassured, but many around us may believe we actually deliberately ignore reassurance and delve deeper. As if any sane person (and we are very sane) would torture themselves in this way deliberately!

    Best wishes, Tricia.

    P.S. I recall the days when children had their feet x-rayed whenever their parents went to buy them shoes. I know this practise has stopped, but I used the machines many times. At the age of 17 I was working with an x-ray machine with no protection. I was often actually in the rays' direct line. I have to admit I obsessed about that for many years!

    Thu Apr 8 2010 13:39:08 #
  13. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi subo

    I know what it is like to regularly obsess over things that seem possible, are in fact not real. The thing you have to remember is that you probably have a higher chance of dying walking outside than of a chest X-ray. The problem we have in this society are the scientists. As intelligent as they are, they tend to manipulate peoples attitudes towards whats safe and what isn't. I'm sure I heard somewhere that there was a link between apples and cancer, or something. Absolutely ridiculous. You also have to remember that where cancer does occur from certain instances, we are never told of the underlying issues at hand, such as did this person have cancerous cells in the first place or other underlying health issues that may have a profound reaction to x-rays? Even if this were true, remember:

    1. The dose of radiation is so small, it cannot possibly do any harm
    2. Childrens cells tend to regenerate very, very fast and so there is hardly any risk whatsoever of long-term damage.

    What I would give for being able to have taken up dancing at a young age, so that I could have a chance to adapt my muscles properly, so that I don't have any of these niggling knee injuries that I have now. Thats the beauty of fast regeneration.

    Giles

    Thu Apr 8 2010 15:03:24 #
  14. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Thanks so much Tricia xxxxxxx
    I am currently obsessing over the mmr - still unsure whether or not to give single vaccines, weirdly though, I dont seem to have as much of an issue over that, because most people get their mmr or injections and also it is very likely he will come into contact with measles etc, so I feel it will have done him good. With the x ray though, it almost feels like Im the only one whose child has had it - none of my friends children have had this, and I just feel like I was too hasty in taking him to a and e because of my ocd, and so it was me who instigated the chest x ray by being over cautious. It was totally unneccessary - and when I see the word 'cancer' related to something to do with my child it just sends me over the edge.

    [/quote]Please don’t feel badly that you might come across as having ‘an issue with any reassurance’. That’s the nature of OCD and an analytical mind. We might feel a degree of comfort, but we then see another possibility, another worry. We desperately want to be reassured, but many around us may believe we actually deliberately ignore reassurance and delve deeper. As if any sane person (and we are very sane) would torture themselves in this way deliberately![quote][i][b[/b]]

    This is sometimes what I think my family think! Its just hell when you think youve found some comfort and then something else comes along.

    Weirdly, I am very aware of not wrapping my child up in cotton wool and I can cope with day to day risks pretty well, although I am more neurotic than some mums! But medical intervention I find very very hard to deal with, but this has made me come face to face with a fear and I really want to learn how to face it

    Thu Apr 8 2010 15:04:26 #
  15. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    Thank you Giles - I didnt see your post, must have cross posted with above xxxxxx
    I really appreciate your commentx
    Its just I read someting about childrens cells regenergating so fast, if the cell is mutated then it has more chance of being replicated and thefore as its a mutated replication - be cancerous

    Thu Apr 8 2010 15:47:52 #
  16. Avatar Image

    obssesser
    Member

    Hi im new on here but ni can help and maybe get some help i hope. i have had OCD since i was little and i have ranged from all dorts but for the last year i have had an episode of constant doctors appointments tests hospital referals, but the thing i have learned about this fear of cancer is that worrying about it gave me all the symptoms, i am not better far from it but i know when im being obssessive, someone once told me who knew a nurse that "most of the cancer patients she treated were in fact very healthy non smokers who have probably never been ill before" what also has helped me is the belief that if i or anyone close to me ever did get ill it doesnt neccessarily men death. i think about these things to help the anxiety pass, but beleive me i have had every different serious illness in every part of my body.... However i have now suppressed this a little my obssessive thoughts have in fact returned literally overnight and now i am conviced i am a molesterer again. it dips and peaks. i have convinced myself that my memory has failed and i have in fact done something really bad when changing my sons bottom but in reality i know i havent but at the same time the more i go over this the more i can see myself doing domething and its like my brain is putting FALSE memories in there to worry me.

    Thu Apr 8 2010 18:50:45 #
  17. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Obssesser,

    Welcome to the forum.

    I'm sorry to hear that your obsessive thoughts have returned.

    OCD really is the master of false thoughts and images isn't it? It plants so many false images in our minds that are so strong, it's difficult to know whether to believe them or not. And the more we think about the thoughts the more anxious we become. I should know - I've got a degree in unnecessary worry

    Best wishes
    Trudy

    Thu Apr 8 2010 19:24:26 #
  18. Avatar Image

    obssesser
    Member

    Thanks Trudy,
    It does seem as though ill never be free of it to be honest but sometimes its more controllable than others managed around six months with hardly any obssessive thoughts but spent hours down the docs dont know whats worse... they are all just as bad but now tryiong very expensive CBT therapy which i hope will help. The more i try to think forget it i think what if i forget it and avtually done something then i would just die within myself i know im not a bad person the same as ebeyone else on here if anything we are supposed to be the safest group of people in the world but sometimes i dont feel it.
    BW
    Katie

    Thu Apr 8 2010 19:32:02 #
  19. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Katie, OCD can make us believe anything. I believed I had been raped, then the OCD decided I would suffer more guilt if it had been consensual sex. For twenty years I believed my daughter was another man’s. The more we think about something we fear might have occurred, the greater the false memories become. My husband has been my only partner, but the OCD convinced me otherwise.

    Subo, My family and friends (even some with OCD!) can become very frustrated with me for not ‘listening’ to their advice. They give reassurance, if I don’t accept that then I must want to suffer! No, I desperately want to be reassured, but there is always that something we read about or think of that makes us doubt!

    I know what you mean about medical worries. I didn’t panic about everything in my children’s lives. The OCD can be very selective, and even changeable. I feel your extreme concern will ease, but I am not sure if anything other than time will help.

    Fri Apr 9 2010 14:22:15 #
  20. Avatar Image

    Subo
    Member

    It will ease... for a while then come back or be replaced by something 'even worse' and itll be another thing added to the list of all the things that have happened to cause harm to my baby

    See even when you say that, I still cant think its an extreme concern, its so worrying for me, and I also think that if I dont worry about it, it will be more likely to happen and shock me, so worrying keeps the harm at bay...

    Fri Apr 9 2010 14:27:48 #
  21. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Yes, that logic makes sense to me. I think it would mystify our families, but we understand each other, don't we? I've also found that the bad things that happen are always things I haven't worried about. A psychologist would probably say that it proves there's no point in worrying. We might say we just have to worry more and try to cover every eventuality!

    Fri Apr 9 2010 14:32:41 #

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