OCD Action

-Paperchaser
Member

Anyone, feel free to comment here or tell your story. I don't think anyone here will discriminate

Basically my story starts when I was eight. You're meant to be all young and naive and just enjoy your childhood at that age. It was more difficult for me, when my older sister showed me porn. I laughed at it alot of the time, but it's shaped me as a person. I think I was about ten when my dad found out. He wasn't angry, he just wanted to know how and why. I think it had started to develop before that, but that's when it started to bloom. I became anxious about people reading my thoughts and voices where telling me to run to the door before the clock striked twelve or else something terrible would happen. I also had unwanted sexual thoughts about other girls, although I'm secure of my sexual orientation. I still have them from time to time and I'm still incredibly paranoid about telepathy. When I was younger I thought everyone was robots (I was about 5 :lol:) and I got really agitated about that too. I've tried talking to my family, not explaining how it really blossomed, but I don't think they really take me seriously. The thing is, my sister stopped going to school at 14 (I reckon it started off as attention seeking but it turned into a mental illness) so the family is more or less dysfunctional. My mum also thinks she has bi-polar, self-diagnosed of course. My dad seemed to understand but he sort of just ridiculed it a bit after I said it infront of him, mum and my sister.

At the time it felt like it was the worst thing anyone could have done (the porn thing) and I still more or less do. I feel disguisted just thinking about it. I honestly thought it was worse than murder.
You probably won't read all of that xD
Oh by the way, I'm 13.

Mon Mar 1 2010 22:38:02 #
poppyfields
Member

Hi Paperchase and welcome to the site. Well done on telling your story. It's not easy telling it all but we all understand here so you've come to a good place. Others will tell you, as i'm telling you, you are not guilty for what is imposed upon you at the tender age of 8! Have you been diagnosed as having ocd. It certainly sounds as though you have and i'm wondering if you've been able to tell your doc and seek help in dealing with all the emotions from the past.

Tue Mar 2 2010 11:20:32 #
-Paperchaser
Member

I haven't seen my doctor about it because my parents think I'm attention seeking and they don't take much notice with my sister and all. I want to, but I wouldn't know how to tell them. It almost brings me to tears when I try to talk about it with anyone. I feel so self concious and like people will judge me on this one fact.

Tue Mar 2 2010 17:21:33 #
Nimrod
Key Master

Hi Paperchaser,

Sadly what you say is not unusual as most people simply don't understand about OCD and what it does to people. Have a look at the NICE Guideline here http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/files/2009/09/nice-cg031-quickrefguide.pdf as this explains what OCD is and what can and should be done about it. It may help to show this to your parents and some people find it helps to print out the relevant pages to take when they visit their GP. As you are 13 you will be at school. Is there someone at school, a teacher or school nurse you can talk to about your story? Again you could take a printout of the Guideline to show them. Another thing you could do is to call the OCD Action helpline on 0845 390 6232 or email support@ocdaction.org.uk

There is a lot that can be done for people with OCD, especially for young people. Try calling the helpline as they may be able to suggest ways of discussing this with your parents or someone at school. And remember, if you have OCD, or something else, it is not your fault, nor anyone elses but something can be done to help.

Best wishes,
Caps

Tue Mar 2 2010 20:31:50 #
-Paperchaser
Member

Thank you.

I don't think I could ever talk about it to someone I would have to face on a daily basis, a GP would be better because they're really trained to know about these things. I think I'll try the help-line, because it's confidential (it is, isn't it?) so I'll feel...safer. If that makes any sense.

Wed Mar 3 2010 22:13:32 #
Nimrod
Key Master

The Helpline is fully confidential. It is staffed by people who understand about OCD. OCD Action does not give out or share any information, names or contact details of anyone who contacts us.

Caps

Thu Mar 4 2010 21:46:05 #
-Paperchaser
Member

Thanks, it does help ALOT to know this. More than you could ever know. I just really don't want these thoughts to disable me. I don't want to be a carving copy of my sister.

Thu Mar 4 2010 22:32:40 #
Meeeex
Member

hey, paperchaser

I have pretty much the same problems as you (plus too many more to mention lol)... I sometimes have strange thoughts and get really paraniod about my family and friends being able to read my mind and know what i'm thinking... I'm 14 and have had OCD since i was 11 (at least I think I have, i've never been OFFICIALLY diagnosed)... What helps me with the thoughts thing it blasting my music or reading a really good book that I get lost in... GOOD LUCK!!! x

Sun Sep 5 2010 0:03:10 #