OCD Action

Unregistered

Hi everyone,

it's Monday morning, and it's grey and dull outside. But I'm looking forward to seeing you all at the OCD Action Conference on 26 November in London! People have been talking about the conference a lot at the support groups I go to, and I've heard some people saying that they're nervous about going to Conference.

But imagine this: for one day in the year, in the exciting, bustling city of London, you can go to a place that's absolutely filled with OCD sufferers. Every person you meet, every person you see, every person you sit next to, is (or has been) plagued by intrusive, distressing thoughts in their life. Every person around you is -- or has been -- driven to despair by thoughts about germs; thoughts about knives; thoughts about hurting or killing themselves or the people they love; thoughts about blasphemy; thoughts about running over cyclists; thoughts about being gay if they're straight, or about being straight if they're gay; thoughts that they don't love their partners, or that they don't deserve to be loved. There will be hundreds of people there who have all suffered terrible pain in their lives, because they believed that they were crazy, or twisted, or nasty, or infected...and they'll all be hoping that when they go to LSE in London, they'll meet lots of other people, just like them.

I heard a rumour that OCD sufferers are actually the nicest, kindest, safest, most caring people on the planet. Turn up in London on 26 November and prove me right!

And look out for me when you get to LSE. You'll recognise me straight away; I'm the one with a mental health disorder.

See you there!

OCD Londoner.

Mon Nov 7 2011 10:32:11 #
BT
Member

OCD Londoner, I don't know if you have seen Trudy's thread, but it may be of interest:

http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/any-one-going-to-the-conference-in-november

Also, I’m wondering if you have read the same book that I have, where it is stated that we are the most caring people on the planet. It distressed me greatly to read this, because it sounds rather narcissistic. It also happens to be untrue. Over the last twenty years, I have got to know many people with OCD. They range from the most altruistic/generous to the most selfish/mean (of all the people I have met in my life, with and without the condition). The personalities of those with OCD vary just as much as the rest of the population - although possibly slightly more selfish than average, as a group, I would say.

Mon Nov 7 2011 12:29:50 #
Unregistered

Hi BT,

I would respectfully disagree. I can see why many OCD sufferers might appear "selfish". (After all, we spend 90 per cent of our time thinking ourselves!) But I do believe that for a large proportion of the "OCD community", some of the central things driving their OCD are: (1) an inflated sense of responsibility, for themselves, their loved ones, strangers, and the world in general,(2) an impossibly strict moral code, which makes them accuse themselves of being a monster / a failure / a freak, because of the tiniest error or "moral crime" that they think they have, will, or could commit, and (3) a tendency towards perfectionism,(i.e. "If I'm not 100 per cent perfect, then I'm a total failure.")

I think that OCD tends to make sufferers become more and more self-obsessed over time. But at heart, I think we just want to do everything perfectly all the time; we want a guarantee that nothing we ever do, could do, or have done, could ever harm any other person on the planet; and that most of us suffer terribly when we fall short of our impossible-to-reach goals.

I completely see what you mean in your post, but let's stay positive about our "community". I've personally met a lot of very brave, caring people in the OCD world -- and I'm looking forward to meeting a lot more of them at the Conference!

Anyone else feeling excited about a day trip to London???

OCD "rose-tinted" Londoner.

Mon Nov 7 2011 19:06:36 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi OCD Londoner... I agree... I regard myself as caring, friendly, as harmless as humanly possible to others, a frightened survivor... That is what leaves me vulnerable to the OCD, probably even perpetuates it... If I didn't care, then I wouldn't have a problem... It is my fear that someone else will suffer due to me not being clean enough etc. etc. I probably come over as lazy and irritable to others in my family, but there is no violence or malice involved, it is just the external signs relating to what my inner heart is trying to live with...
Unfortunately, To come to the conference is logistically out of my scope at present, but who knows, maybe next year... I too look forward to reading about how it all goes...
wannabe

Mon Nov 7 2011 20:50:43 #
BT
Member

OCD Londoner, There was a time when I also had rose-tinted spectacles. However, my opinion has changed after meeting many OCD sufferers in the last twenty years. I’m not for one moment saying all people with OCD are selfish. Human beings tend to be selfish and I am pointing out that those with OCD are no different. We have very good and very bad and everything in between, just like the rest of society. With Saddam Hussein and Hitler in our midst, we can’t be overly praiseworthy of our collective, caring personality!

Wannabe, There are many deeply caring souls, such as yourself, who have OCD. But, don’t be fooled into thinking everyone with the condition worries about those around them. One of my friends was fanatically clean and panicked about harming himself and damaging his property, but he couldn’t care less about other people or their belongings. And he told me so!

Tue Nov 8 2011 13:12:53 #
Tess
Member

BT My jury's out on this one. I like to think that the behaviour which can appear monstrously selfish and uncaring is due to the disorder and not to the personality which lies buried within. I remember back to when my son was tiny and I was so desperate that I just wanted to hit out and blame everyone close to me and I was regarded as uncaring because I would avoid anything and everything which caused me stress. I've been on the receiving end of unjustified unkindness and harsh words from a number of OCD sufferers but I can always see beyond it to the fears and sensitivity of their disorder although that doesn't stop it hurting.
We could go further with this debate and ask how much are people responsible for their personalities, is personality purely a brain function dependent on various factors including genetics?

Tue Nov 8 2011 15:23:17 #
Unregistered

Hi BT,

um...could I politely (and quite nervously) say the following things:

(1) I started this thread because I thought, "I wonder how many people haven't really considered going to the OCD Action Conference. Maybe another thread, talking about it will get a few more people to come along."

(2) I just wanted to start a positive thread, raise awareness about the Conference, and get maybe a few OCD sufferers punching the air (Rocky Balboa-style), and saying, "Yeah, dammit, I'm going to London that day!!!"

(3) Could I respectfully say that the entire purpose of this thread was just to make a few more people come along to the conference. Talking about mass murderers and saying negative things about OCD sufferers is not going to achieve that!

(4) I am an OCD sufferer. I have suffered from a mental health disorder (OCD) since childhood. It nearly destroyed me, and it ruined my life for twenty years. Now I am well on the road to recovery. I want to live my life in a positive way, and stop being the negative self-hater that I was for the last 2 decades. Under the wording of the Equality Act (2010) I can be classed as a disabled person. I am one of an estimated 1 to 2 million OCD sufferers walking around in the UK today. I am very excited about the Conference, and I am going to have a great day when I'm there. I'm going to introduce myself to lots of strangers, have fun, joke about my life, and listen to what everyone has to say. I would really like to use this thread to ONLY say positive, encouraging things that are likely to make MORE people go to the conference -- NOT turn them off it!

(5)This year, I'm going to the Conference on 26 November, and I'm going to have a great day (as Jim Bowen used to say), and I'm 100 per cent certain that I'm going to meet lots of funny, caring people when I'm there.

(6) Please please please, no more negative posts on this thread, guys...please!

Much love!

OCD Londoner.

Tue Nov 8 2011 18:48:50 #
Soxon
Key Master

It's not too late to book your place at the OCD Action Conference. To book go to OCD Action Conference 2011

Soxon

Wed Nov 9 2011 10:05:09 #
Tess
Member

Hi OCD Londoner
You are absolutely right, this thread has morphed from it's initial purpose into a much wider discussion and I am one of the guilty parties. I wish I could be with you all at the conference because it will be a fantastic event and an opportunity to meet so many other sufferers and also the greatest experts in OCD treatments which this country can offer. I was fortunate to attend two years ago and the memories are still with me today.
All I ask is to please come back on this forum afterwards and tell us all about it - not just the downloadable presentations but a real flavour of the event so those who live so far away or can't get there can share a bit of the action.

Wed Nov 9 2011 10:48:20 #
BT
Member

Sorry, OCD Londoner. I did not intend to turn your thread into a negative one. It just concerns me when anyone with OCD says we are actually the nicest, kindest, safest, most caring people on the planet. I know how those without OCD react to these words and it makes me cringe, because really we are no different from the rest of the population. I wasn’t trying to be negative, merely honest.

Tess, You made some very good points which I was going to reply to, but maybe they are best left for a more appropriate thread!

Wed Nov 9 2011 12:07:31 #
Unregistered

Hi Tess,

that's a great idea. I'll do exactly what you suggested.

Here's another idea: for any OCD people who don't get to London much, why don't you make a day of it? You could book tickets to go and see a West End show in the evening, after the conference ends. (LSE - the venue - is right by The Strand and Covent Garden. So you could go and see 'Legally Blonde', or 'Shrek The Musical', or 'Chicago'!)

Or you could go Xmas shopping on Oxford Street, and see the Xmas lights, before spending your life savings in Selfridges and the giant Primark near Marble Arch!

Go on, people -- I dare you. Have a day out in London, and have some fun for a change!

OCD Londoner.

Wed Nov 9 2011 12:10:57 #