OCD Action

Pepper
Member

I thought for a week or so that things were getting better, the OCD seems to have calmed down a bit and I'm starting to believe that maybe I haven't harmed people or ruined their lives, although I still get points in every day where i worry about this. The problem is I'm still worried that I'm a really bad person, I feel guilty that everyone's so nice to me and worries about me being ill when I don't really believe that I am. i think it's just guilt, I have a list of about four or five things that I've done wrong in the past that I seem to run through first thing in the morning and then fixate on one of them for about a week or so before moving onto the next one. I used to be so afraid that these things might have caused so much harm to someone (and I still am) but now I'm worried that even if I can convince myself that nobody has been harmed by me then it still wont change the way I feel about myself and i still wont be able to live with the thought that I'm so bad. I'm sorry to offload on here to all of you but I guess I just want someone to know how I really am because I feel like such a fraud. It's like I can't look forward to anything anymore because it's all tainted by who I am, and to be honest I'm tired, I can't carry on with feeling sick everytime I hear a siren etc.

Wed Nov 30 2011 16:07:16 #
Tess
Member

Hi Pepper
We all get blips when we start to slide back downhill so try to stay positive, you've been feeling better and you will again, this is just temporary. Running through all the things you think you've done wrong in the past doesn't help, it just increases your stress levels which then aggravates the OCD. If people are being nice to you it's because they like you and that in turn means you are likeable so try to believe that. If you were as horrible as you think you are believe me, people would give you the cold shoulder and if the sirens were to do with anything you had caused there would soon be a knock on your door. But knowing this and believing it are two very different things when you have OCD. It might help by trying to work out what may have caused you to go downhill - have you had anything stressful happen perhaps. Whatever has caused it the best way to get yourself back on track is to get stress off yourself - get some exercise, relaxation, fun and a good night's sleep and hopefully things will look a bit brighter again soon.

Wed Nov 30 2011 16:39:43 #
Unregistered

Hi Pepper,

I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling well.

The best and most important thing that you can do for yourself is to get some help. Have you been through a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) yet? That's the only proven treatment for OCD (along with anti-depressants), and CBT is your best hope of getting rid of your OCD.

If you haven't done so already, I would personally recommend that you try to get a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for your OCD. The way to get this is either to go to your GP, and tell them you have OCD, and ask them to refer you to a therapist for CBT; or call the mental health units in your area directly and ask for an assessment for your OCD.

Your GP may also prescribe an anti-depressant (an SSRI), if you are feeling very anxious and / or depressed. (Some people benefit from taking anti-depressants. Along with a course of CBT, it's the most common form of treatment for OCD.)

You can also call the OCD Action helpline during working hours, to speak to an operator; or you can email the helpline team (see the homepage); or you could attend an OCD support group in your area to chat to other OCD sufferers. (They're listed on this website.)

The worst thing to do is just to carry on without getting any help. OCD doesn't go away by itself. But it is a treatable illness, and there is help out there. There's no need to give up hope. OCD can be beaten. But most of us need some help in order to beat it.

If you go to "Resources" on the OCD Action homepage, you will find various Information Packs on OCD, including a copy of the NICE Guidelines for treating OCD; a card to take to your GP explaining how to treat OCD; and various other really good information packs.

Don't panic -- there's lots of help available.

All the best.

Wed Nov 30 2011 18:15:49 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Pepper, welcome to the forums... I have nothing else to add to what OCD and Tess have said... save welcome... Oh, one thing, someone once said to me, that the person who never made a mistake, never made anything... It's through occasionally getting things wrong that we learn how to do things better later on... The only thing that we can change is our now, our past is gone, the future is out of reach... We have to forgive ourelves because we are human and fallible... We make mistakes, that's being human... Try not to compare yourself with others around you... i'm just wondering if it is possibleto check out Desiderata by Les Crane, on youtube... Very wise words... and very soothing...
Wannabe

Wed Nov 30 2011 22:00:21 #