Helz, I’ll slip through once more, but I could be risking having the phone line removed! By the way, thanks for your comment. I agree with Andrea, you are most certainly not being punished for laughing at Monk. The friend I mentioned, previously, would not watch Monk when it first arrived on U.S. screens. It was billed as a comedy and she said there was nothing remotely funny in an illness that wrecks lives. My husband called me into the living room, years ago, and said there was a fruitcake like me on TV. I quickly became a fan of the TV fruitcake (Monk) and persuaded my American friend to give the show a chance. She is now one of its biggest fans and was desperate to obtain a Monk T-shirt when she attended one of the OCFoundation conferences. She can laugh at his antics even though she’s experienced all the pain. I fluctuate. There are scenes I have laughed out loud at, which when I am in a different frame of mind I see no humour in at all, only the devastation the illness causes.
I have had a dilemma regarding humour and OCD, for many years. I was reprimanded quite severely on another forum for making light of an OCD experience I had endured. I was told there’s nothing remotely funny in this condition and obviously I don’t suffer it very badly. I have heard this comment more than once. I cannot sit to write this, there’s only one wooden chair I will sit on in my home, and I have been unable to wear anything other than underwear, even to do work outside, for many years. I’ve finished writing a book about my life with OCD and my husband is annoyed that I have included humour. I have asked people here, several times, whether they feel humour is acceptable. In the main, people think humour is not only acceptable, but essential for our survival. What clinched it for me, however, was one of our members, who has lost her son to this wretched condition. She has said we have to laugh. I feel indebted to this wonderful lady and regard her comment as the ‘permission’ I needed. I can take criticism from anywhere now over this subject. Helz, it’s an individual thing, but laugh when you can, it’s the best medicine!
I can truly empathize with you over being hugged and your mum’s reaction if you told her not to. My mum finally understands (she’s 85) but she took offence for years, because I couldn’t be touched. There was a mixture of hurt and anger, as you described. The only ones not to appear hurt by my obsessions and compulsions are my children and my dogs (sadly no longer alive, but their empathy was amazing, especially as I developed a fear of them). Helz, please do not ever be angry with yourself.
Andrea, I wish I could have watched the programme. My friend also said how heart-wrenching it was. You are a better person than me, Andrea. I am ashamed to say that my children had to fit around my rituals. I could never touch my children when they came home from school (apart from during my spell of therapy, which was disastrous). Even at other times, they would ask if they were clean enough for a hug. Sometimes, it was I who was too dirty. We had to be both dirty or both clean. On a television show, I was regarded by the programme’s presenter, and some audience members, with sheer disgust. I was an unfit mother and why my children love me so much I’ll never know. I am truly blessed that they haven’t abandoned me.
Returning to Monk. That opening scene, where he fretted so over his oven, you could see the torment in Tony Shalhoub’s eyes, he had certainly done his research. The police officers on the scene had failed to observe the clues Monk did, despite his mind obsessing over the oven. He continually asked his nurse/assistant if she was sure he had turned the stove off. She saw him, but he delved deeper, as we do, did she hear the click etc. One police officer remarked to the other that Monk is the greatest living detective, and his colleague’s reply was ‘You call that living’.
I know Howard Hughes’ suffering was very real and not a character made up for TV, but this made it all the more worrying that an audience in America found some very distressing scenes hilarious, when they were obviously not remotely amusing.
A friend commented on this, and asked Professor Schwartz his views (he was an adviser on the Aviator). He felt the laughter was acceptable. He added that OCD sufferers can laugh at themselves. My friend pointed out there’s a world of difference between laughing at ourselves and others laughing at us. But, it’s a complicated and controversial subject. I think any light-hearted, entertainment programme, or film, whether we approve or not, will only continue to portray our condition as a rather quirky, but harmless one.
I wrote to Stephen Fry, after watching his documentary on manic depression. I think it would be wonderful if he would make a similar documentary on OCD. The programme reached so many people who had little understanding of bipolar. It is always wrong to compare conditions, and I am sure statistics would show that bipolar causes more loss of life than OCD. However, what shocked me was that virtually all those interviewed (with manic depression) would choose to keep their condition, if they had the opportunity to rid themselves of it. I wonder how many people would keep their OCD?!
P.S. Helz, you also mentioned books. I would say that Agatha Christie’s Poirot is obsessional, whether it could be classed as OCD, I’m unsure. I suppose Sherlock Holmes was also obsessional (the writers of Monk often refer to Holmes). The obsessional mind is ideal for detective work, we are usually incredibly observant.
P.P.S. Andrea, I am not for one moment excusing my behaviour, but I will just say this, so that anyone who is experiencing similar might feel a little less concerned. A friend forced her rituals onto her young daughter from a very young age. At three, her child would begin the day my asking ‘Mom, what are the rules we have to follow today?’. My rituals remained fairly constant, but they were strict and my two children also grew up living a very unnatural existence. However, mercifully my friend’s girl and my children have not inherited our OCD genes and all are very well-balanced, happy young adults (heading towards their thirties now). Environment is important, but maybe not as vital as some would imagine. Love is certainly necessary, however. My friend and I made sure our children knew they were loved and that our behaviour was not how other mothers were. They were told from a young age that mom/mum had a problem. In my case, I seriously considered leaving my children with their father, but I was persuaded not to.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
And Helz...you arent being punished for laughing. Its meant to be funny, and if we cant laugh at ourselves a bit...we're ina world of hurt.
For example I got the wipes idea and the putting things in plastic bags idea courtesy of him 
I do like to share the good and the bad 
and thanks for your thoughts. 
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