OCD Action

hannahrosie_s
Member

Hi there not too sure if i am in the right place and I'm not too sure where to start. I am 20 years old and i think my mum has OCD. Ever since i could remember my mum has been 'tidy' everything has its order and its place in the house but only when i was old enough to want my own space and belongings that i noticed mums tidying was a little more controlled than my friends mums. I just really need to know if my mum has OCD and if she has how can we help her...she wakes up every morning at 7 and goes through everything in the house it is picked up swept underneath turned around and put back down again in the same place, this routine can last for hours and thing are repeated until well i notice she's 'happy'. things and belongings also have to be 'recorded' on entering the house say if we bought a new piece of clothing or make up and it had to replace anything we originally had in order for the belongings to be even. When i say even i mean everything has to kept at an even number if someone eats a biscuit another is removed is someone sprays perfume a second squirt has to be sprayed, i have even observed here pouring toothpaste down the sink after she has used it. Belongings also have to have a 'purpose' swell nothing in the house is unused as such. \There are no lids on items there are 4 knives 4 forks 4 cups etc as there are only 4 of us living there, items that are considered to be used not very often are left at my hans where you can pick them up and use them but they have to be returned. if friends accidentally leave belongings in the house mum panics and seems to stress and i don't know how to approach her. I have now moved out of the family home and live with my boyfriend due to the stress it was causing me, not being allowed to have control of my own belongings living in such a bare house that didn't feel like a home. I worry that my mum will push away my sister and her boyfriend and be left alone. I also worry that i am developing OCD symptoms too. is this OCD?? someone help please. advice would be really helpful thank you xxx

Fri Oct 21 2011 16:36:28 #
Tess
Member

Hi Hannah
This does sound very much like OCD to me but I'm only a sufferer, not medically trained. OCD becomes worse when people are stressed and I'm wondering if your mum is feeling under stress because her family are starting to leave home and she is wondering what her future holds.
I think the best way to help your mum is to make her feel useful and to be there for her when she needs you. I think it would help you to read up about OCD and the treatments which are available, especially if you think you may be developing some symptoms yourself and this website is a good place to start.

Fri Oct 21 2011 18:13:54 #
S*F
Member

Hello Hannah

I agree with Tess, what you describe above does sound very much like OCD. Your mum can only be helped if she wants to be helped. All you can do is make sure that she knows you love her and be there for her if she does ask for help.

S

Fri Oct 21 2011 18:53:35 #
hannahrosie_s
Member

thankyou so much for the quick reply it means a lot as I didn't really know who to turn to, I really feel like talking to her about her problems but i haven't done it before and I'm unsure about how to go about it? any ideas what would be the best way to approach asking her about the OCD will she know she has it? hannah x

Fri Oct 21 2011 19:45:40 #
Tess
Member

Hi Hannah
This is very difficult because if your mother does have undiagnosed OCD and she has been suffering from it for many years she will have developed ways of coping and will feel threatened if anything attempts to challenge it and this could very easily spark conflict. Maybe you could start by talking about your own worries as you say you think you may be starting to develop symptoms yourself. If your mum feels she is helping you she may start to reveal more of what is going on inside her own mind - and then very slowly and gently you may together start to discover what the problem is and ways of making life better for both of you. This is not something with an instant cure and it may well be a learning journey for both of you but if you handle it correctly you will develop an even closer relationship with your mum as time goes by. You could also ask her about your grandparents and great grandparents to try to find out if this is an inherited problem. Eventually you may be able to discuss getting medical help but for the moment I would recommend the softly softly approach. You may even find your mum will be relieved to start getting it off her chest but she will need to feel that anything she confides to you is in completely safe hands.

Sat Oct 22 2011 9:20:39 #
Truddles
Member

Hi hannahrosie_s,

Welcome to the forum

I'm sorry to hear of the situation that you find yourself in with regards to your mother, I have replied to your PM.

If you go to http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-info/resources/ you will find plenty of information on OCD including books that you can read to learn more about OCD. There is an article called 'What to do if the person with OCD refused help and this can be accessed by going to
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/files/2011/01/IF-THE-PERSON-WITH-OCD-REFUSES-HELP.docx.pdf
Now that you've moved out of the family home and you are able to live without having so many OCD rules imposed on you, you might find that the symptoms that you're experiencing go, but if they don't then speak to your GP about it.

This might sound harsh, but you're the one that you should be concentrating on at the moment. You need to settle into your own non OCD routines and allow your own personality and identity to develop then you'll be in a better position to help and support your mother and as the others have said just make sure that she knows that you love her and be there for her if she asks for help.

Keep posting on the forum for help and support from others.

I wish you well in your new life - consider today to be the first day of your new life.

Sat Oct 22 2011 9:23:20 #