OCD Action

omanem
Member

Hi,

I am new on here and have to say I am having a really terrible time with this at the moment.

My OCD is currently going through a terrible phase with intrusive sexual thoughts. Not all the time but it was triggered a few months ago when I went out and drank too much and had a total black out, couldn't remember getting home etc.. I was with my husband but had so many concerns about what I did or did not do. I totally freaked out that I had sex with somebody and got HIV.

Of course I got tested and it was negative and that thought quickly went away. Then about a week later we went on a camping trip with friends, it was in fancy tents with bedrooms and toilets. I was aware that we would be drinking and I was also aware that I needed to keep it together so I didn't have a black out.

This is managed and at the end of the night went up to my tent as my kids were still wide awake to lay with them and try and get them to sleep. This 10 - 15 mins is a bit blurry, I guess because I had a few drinks and then when I layed down I was half alseep.

I remember laying down with my daughter, I remember turning the lamp on, I rmember getting into my PJ's and I remember my husband coming to bed 15 mins later. It is all a but blurry though.

This is the thing, in the morning when I woke up my first thought was, I remember coming to bed so nothing happened. Then as the morning went on I started thinking but what if in that 15 mons where everything is a bit blurry one of the other men came in and we had sex in the bathroom.

Now, I am almost certain this is not true as I remember so many other things and also my kids were still awake. It is not something I have ever done before, so its not like it is usual behaviour I am scard about.

Does this sound like a false memory to you? I have thought about it so much that it almost seems real but I am not sure if that is my mind simply playing tricks on me? Is this OCD, I feel it is but there is that tiny bit of doubt in the back of my mind that says what if it did happen.

I feel like I am going crazy and I am not holding it together at all.

Em

Thu Nov 10 2011 10:43:15 #
Tess
Member

Hi Em
Just caught your post as I was about to log off so just wanted to say welcome to the forum. I'm not the best person to advise you about this as my OCD takes a diifferent form but I can assure you that what you are feeling is OCD, that nothing you fear may have happened actually did happen and that very many OCD sufferers share exactly the same fears as you do, and indeed so do many other members of this forum. While you are waiting for other members to respond it might help you to have a look through this thread.
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forums/topic/intrusive-sexual-thoughts-and-false-memories

Thu Nov 10 2011 10:54:26 #
omanem
Member

Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I needed to read tha :(t xx OCD is quite possibly one of the most frustrating things I have ever experienced

Thu Nov 10 2011 11:13:38 #
omanem
Member

I am going to go and see a psychiatrist and see what can be done to help. It is like I wonder about what could have happened, my mind thingks the worst, then fixates on it until it feels real.

Is this OCD? Its so scarey I just wish I could switch it off.

I am hoping seeing a psychiatrist and finding other people who have had similar experiences will make me feel a bit stronger.

xx

Thu Nov 10 2011 14:55:46 #
BT
Member

Yes, it’s very much OCD! Twenty years ago, I believed I had done something I hadn’t. Unfortunately, I didn’t realise then that it was part of OCD. Our vivid imaginations think of something we feel would be terrible and we then wonder if we have done it. The more we think back, the more the thought is reinforced and a false memory develops. The thread Tess gave the link for goes into this quite a bit.

It’s a most distressing obsession, but it is all it is. Knowing that others experience exactly the same may well help you.

Thu Nov 10 2011 15:14:04 #
BT
Member

P.S. Two of my friends have had DNA tests done on all their children. Why? Because they have OCD. They are both faithful women, who have not so much as kissed another man. However, their OCD tells them they might have done. Alas, they thought the way to overcome this worry was to delve back in their minds. Unfortunately, no one can recall NOT doing something and an OCD mind quickly fills in the blanks with all kinds of sordid false details.

Thu Nov 10 2011 15:19:51 #
omanem
Member

Thank you so much, my anxiety is through the roof at the moment. Just speaking with you guys is calming me down. I just started Prozac yesterday and am going to see a psychiatrist in next couple of weeks. This is just do hard and one side of my brain says this is OCD and the other says but what if it's not!!!! It's torture.

X x x

Thu Nov 10 2011 15:24:42 #
BT
Member

Talking will help (Prozac hopefully will, too). If you want to send me a message, please do. I'm hopefully over the obsession now, but I vividly recall the torment! One piece of advice, don't go back in your mind to try to prove you didn't do what you fear. OCD will have the upper hand - it's a master at inventing things and overriding your reasoning! Try to ignore the thoughts and don't delve. That's not easy, I know. Your natural reaction will be to do so and it can sometimes be irresistible.

Thu Nov 10 2011 15:32:14 #
omanem
Member

Yeah and that's the problem, I'm currently locked in battle with my OCD. It's trying to convince that so
Something happened even though there is not a shred if evidence!!! Gotta say it really is a bully. It is do good to talk to you, I will def msg you it helps to talk to somebody who gets it x

Thu Nov 10 2011 15:52:49 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hiya Omanem -

welcome to the forum. Although (obviously) not everyone has precisely the same fears as you do, I am certain there are people around that can relate very well, such as BT.

I would say that you have what basically all patients have: a tendency to worry way too much. OCD is a demon that seeks to 'grow' on that soil of worrying, so to speak. What type of OCD eventually will rear its head is pretty personal, depending on one's genetic make-up and life experiences.

Combined with the overworrying there may be the need for control, an urge to be absolutely sure about everything that occurred in one's life. (Fear of) guilt is an important factor here. If that certainty is lacking somewhere (e.g. in case of alcohol consumption, having been very deeply asleep), false memories may come into existence, and these can be, as others remarked, be reinforced.

It's pretty easy advice, and very hard to follow, but: I would start to accept that your feared and false memories are precisely that: false. Had you really done the things that you worry about so much, these would have been imprinted in your mind with great force; you wouldn't doubt them for a moment.

Moreover, false memories are different from delusions, such as occur in other mental disorders. Delusions are mostly experienced as being very real; your doubts, however (eloquently expressed as one side of the brain contradicting the other) prove that you don't suffer from some sort of hallucination.

I really, really hope that the medication and the visiting of a psychiatrist will help you. Please do keep us updated; and always feel free to send a private message.

Cheers from Holland, Cuthbert.

Fri Nov 11 2011 9:23:14 #
omanem
Member

Thank you so much, with the advice that I am getting on here it is really really helping. I have had OCD for a few years now but these false memories are a new thing for me and it got me really worried that maybe I was using OCD as an excuse.

The thing that makes me feel better is that when I recall a situation that i know I was in I can almost feel the situation and see the scene as though looking through my eyes. With this one it is like I am viewing it as a third person, like you would when you watch a movie.

Does this make sense?

Fri Nov 11 2011 10:41:35 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Omanem -

thanks for the swift reply! I am not a therapist, but I would say: the 'detachment' you describe is a good start. Be pragmatic: everything that makes you feel better is a fine start anyway.

Seeing scenes with your involvement through 'objective' eyes is really interesting, because IMHO it may loosen the fears and worries from the scene itself. OCD in many patients is called ego-dystonic by the medical profession (as opposed to ego-syntonic). The former means: the patient knows and feels very well that his/her fear and compulsions are not 'natural', so to speak, but he/she just can't get rid of them. The latter is used to describe sensations and acts that are felt to be natural (yet are not, usually; at the least these are greatly exaggerated).

So: if you succeed in 'neutralising' situations by watching them as you would be a movie, that's a sign of progress IMHO.

Keep up the good work, Omanem (related to Eminem? )

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Fri Nov 11 2011 11:14:56 #
omanem
Member

lol!!! No I am Emma and I am in Oman

I agree, I kind of felt distant from what was going on like I had created the scene as opposed to was in the scene. Not sure if I am explaining it very well at all.

Still scary but almost like I was somebody else watching as opposed to being in the starring role

I am feeling less anxious today but still not great. You see it all started for me with a fear of HIV. So, I educated myself on how you get HIV and I now know that the only ways are unprotected sex and injecting street drugs. Now I don't go around injecting street drugs or having random sex but I guess my OCD has latched on to the fact that HIV is transmitted through unprotected sex and that this is the only way I will get it. Of course, when you drink everything gets a bit blurry and it feels like my OCD is trying to convince I did soemthing that I didn't to keep the fear going??

When I woke up in the morning my first thought was I remember going to bed, there is nothing to worry about. Then the what ifs started and I thought about a few different scenarios and that I settled on the one that had no 'holes' in at and my mind built on it.

Aaaaaaarrrgh!!!!! I need to shake it out of my head

Fri Nov 11 2011 11:29:25 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Emma -

nice reply again. Yes, generally speaking you have to make an effort to get HIV - often it's transmitted when a tiny wound is present, for instance.

Looking at your posts at this point, I'd say that you seem to be afraid of having sleepwalked, having total amnesia, and having done 'something untoward', am I right? Well, chances of this occurring are negligible (although OCD has the evil trick of blowing up such thoughts to considerable proportions, I know).

IIRC Freud once remarked that people, when in any 'altered state', don't have a tendency to act against their own consciences... but I must look that up again.

All the best, Cuthbert (and lots of success with that 'shaking', BTW).

Fri Nov 11 2011 11:50:55 #
Unregistered

Hi Omanem,

your experience is very common among OCD sufferers.

I used to agonise over the things that I "might have done", but couldn't remember. To make it worse, I used to binge-drink, as a way to deal with my low self-esteem and depression. (Common side effects of OCD!) So every time I went out with friends (at least once or twice a week), I would get very drunk, and the next day I would not be able to remember anything after about 9pm from the night before. I would often fall asleep on night buses and trains, and travel to the end of the line and have to walk for miles through dark streets to get home, not even knowing what area I was walking through.

I would wake up the next morning, with no memory whatsoever of what I had done for several hours the night before. Then I would start to think, "What if I had sex with someone and can't remember it? What if I took drugs, and can't remember it? What if something happened to me while I was passed out on the night bus?"

I could not remember what had happened, and I could not prove to myself 100 per cent that I hadn't done something dangerous. So I would ruminate...and try to remember...

But it's impossible to remember something that never happened. And it makes that feeling of uncertainity worse and worse, the more you try to remember things never even happened.

HIV is also another very common obsession among OCD sufferers. I've been obsessed with HIV/AIDS in the past, and so have many OCD sufferers.

I'm glad to hear that you are seeking treatment for your OCD. Make sure you "interrogate" your psychiatrist / therapist thoroughly. Make sure that they specifically practise Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and ask them how many OCD sufferers they have personally treated. Ask them for a NUMBER; they will be able to give you a rough estimate off the top of their head.

And then ask them, of those OCD sufferers that you have treated, how many of them were successful in getting rid of their OCD?

If the psychiatrist / therapist admits that they haven't personally treated any OCD sufferers, and / or they don't practice Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, then find someone else to see. (See the information packs on the OCD Action website for information about how to find a good CBT / OCD specialist.)

Re: prozac. I have been taking 20mg per day of Fluoxetine (this is the medical name for Prozac) for several months. I have found it to be really helpful. It brought down my anxiety level / depression, which then helped me to be able to face the CBT. But it is common to feel WORSE when you first start taking SSRI's like Prozac / Fluoxetine.

For the first 3 or 4 weeks that I was taking it, I got MORE anxious. I was shaking, I couldn't sit still for a minute, and my head was buzzing with worries and fears. I also lost my appetite, and couldn't sleep. So I lost weight, got less sleep, and feel even more wired -- for about 3 or 4 weeks.

BUT...after about 4 or 5 weeks, the Fluoxetine / Prozac started to work. It took more than a month (and that month was really tough), but it started to make a HUGE difference to me. My anxiety level went right down, and I started to feel calmer. (It did take about 2 months for my appetite and sleep pattern to return to normal.)

After having been on Fluoxetine / Prozac for several months, I think it's been one of the key ingredients in my success in being able to walk towards OCD Freedom. So I hope it works well for you too!

All the best,

OCD Londoner.

Fri Nov 11 2011 12:04:09 #
BT
Member

Em, Everyone I know with this kind of symptom has said to me ‘What if I am using OCD as an excuse?’ The way you described a real memory compared with a false one, is exactly how I would describe mine. It’s very much like viewing a film.

I honestly don’t think alcohol would cause you to be unfaithful. However, I have learned that my OCD plays up so badly if I have a drink and I avoid it altogether now. OCD has also caused me to wonder if I have done things in my sleep etc. The problem is, we crave 100% certainty and no matter how hard we try to think rationally, the OCD will always come up with 'but, what if...' Somehow we have to try to ignore it and not engage with it. As Cuthbert said, the theory is easy, the practice is extremely difficult.

Fri Nov 11 2011 12:15:31 #
omanem
Member

Cuthbert, yes you are absolutely right that is what I a concerned about. Like I said my initial thought when I awoke was that everything was ok but then the what ifs started and the seed was planted.

OCD Londoner, awesome post thanks so much. I am going to re read it and reply. It is sooooo nice to know that people understand x

Fri Nov 11 2011 12:16:57 #
omanem
Member

BT, thank you so much and it is so nice to know that your false memory experience is the same as mine. It really does give me some comfort.

I am so glad I found this website and that I have found you guys to talk to. I think it will really help x

Fri Nov 11 2011 12:20:06 #
omanem
Member

Thanks so much for your response OCD Londoner, did you find that when you couldn;t remember or though nothing happened, everything is fine then your mind starts to make things up as in a worst case scenario and then you start to believe it and have anxiety over it?

Fri Nov 11 2011 17:27:15 #
Tellerina
Member

Hi, this sounds like a very typical OCD obsession and nothing more. Hopefully, your new meds and the therapy will be relieving it soon.

Fri Nov 11 2011 21:41:08 #
Ratwomble
Member

Dear em,

Glad to hear that you have a psychiatrist appointment coming up. Prozac helped me manage my symptoms, but it was when the psychiatrist put me on a. Pacific anti OCD drug that I started to get control back.

Oh and going back to your original post, I agree with everyone else that it is your OCD making you doubt yourself.

Best wishes

David

Sat Nov 12 2011 7:43:24 #
Unregistered

Hi Omanem,

re: your post (above), yes, that's exactly what happens. The more you try to remember an event (that you have NO memory of), the more anxious you become. If feels like if you just tried hard enough, it would come to you...

I developed a new obsession earlier this year. My OCD has always impacted on my feelings about relationships and sexual relationships, and earlier this year I started to wonder: "What if I was sexually abused as a child?"

Now, I wasn't. And I have no memories of ever being sexually abused by anyone in my life. But once the thought had come into my brain...I tried to push the thought away, every time I had it...I ruminated on the possibility...I tried and tried to remember any abusive events from my childhood...and of course, I couldn't remember any -- because nothing like that ever happened to me.

But my brain said to me, "What if you were too young to remember? Or what if you blocked out the memories, because they were so distressing? What if it happened, and you just can't remember it?"

Now, the answer is: I was not abused.

But as long as I pushed the thought away; ruminated; and tried to remember, it only made the uncertainty and anxiety get more and more distressing, and more and more frequent.

Luckily I had started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy when this obsession started, so I was able to squash it early -- by NOT DOING THE MENTAL COMPULSIONS. (Ruminating; pushing the thought away, ruminating; trying to remember, etc.)

You mentioned "Pure O" in one of your threads.

I think that "Pure O" is a term that should be banned from this forum (and the world!), because it's an outdated term that is no longer used in mainstream CBT. I think that the idea of "Pure O" creates a barrier to recovery, because one of the MOST IMPORTANT things that the OCD sufferer has to come to understand is that OCD IS KEPT IN PLACE BY COMPULSIONS.

WHETHER THEY ARE MENTAL COMPULSIONS (like ruminating, trying to remember, or pushing thoughts away), or PHYSCIAL COMPULSIONS (washing, checking, etc.), the important thing to understand is that they are COMPULSIONS -- and the OCD will never go away until you stop carrying out the compulsions.

Your therapist / psychiatrist will explain this to you in detail, if he's a good one.

Have a brilliant weekend Omanem!

OCD Londoner.

Sat Nov 12 2011 12:32:22 #
BT
Member

OCD Londoner, I also have a problem with the term Pure ‘O’. Mainly because it really is so rare. Many people say that’s what they have, but in most cases they are carrying out mental compulsions. I believe the term is now used by many professionals to include obsessions with covert compulsions. I think that is very misleading.

I do know that it is possible to have an obsession which clings on, despite there being no compulsion to feed it.

Although I agree with you about OCD being kept in place by compulsions, it isn’t necessarily the case that if we stop all compulsions the obsessions will also cease. (I'm not saying that's what you implied!)

The reason I bring this up, is because a professional told me I had to be carrying out a compulsion (he thought probably mental) in order for the obsession to remain. I know that’s not the case and it is so frustrating to be told you are doing something when you know full well you are not.

I’m not sure how unusual this is, but I do know of people who have contamination OCD, who have ceased all compulsions, but still found their obsessions remained.

David, You write as if Prozac is not a specific OCD drug. I know more people who have been helped by it than any other SSRI. As with therapy, we do all react differently, but Prozac does seem to be very effective. I suppose the older SRI clomipramine might still be regarded by some professionals as the most effective drug for OCD - but with far more unpleasant side-effects.

Sorry, Em, this is all drifting away from the subject of your thread rather.

Sat Nov 12 2011 13:44:48 #
Unregistered

Hi BT,

re: your last post, I'd say:

(1) The idea of "Pure O" is complete fantasy, in terms of OCD. If someone has an obsession, but carries out NO compulsions, then they do not have OCD. (i.e. they no longer have OCD, or never had it.) OCD relies on 2 things: obsessions, and compulsions.

(2) If an OCD sufferer truly gets to the stage where they still have obsessions, but they no longer carry out ANY compulsions, then you could say that they no longer have OCD.

(3) In many cases, I personally suspect that OCD sufferers are not fully aware of all of their compulsions. Especially the mental ones. But even the physical ones. It is very possible to go about your life thinking that you do not carry out any compulsions -- when in fact, your life is riddled with compulsions, both mental and physical.

(4) Let me think of an example...okay, let's say an OCD sufferer has intrusive thoughts about germs, disease, bacteria, contamination. And, through a course of CBT and reading 20 self-help books, he no longer carries out any of his physical compulsions. He doesn't use toilet paper to touch door handles. He doesn't lay two layers of toilet paper on the toilet seat before sitting down. He shakes hands with people, even though he isn't sure if they've wiped their nose or washed their hands today. So he is carrying out no compulsions, right?
Well, maybe. But probably he is. Here are some examples of compulsions he might still be carrying out:

- When he's about to shake hands, he thinks for a second, reassures himself that the therapist told him it's a million-to-one shot that he'll catch a deadly disease from shaking hands, and he shakes the person's hand.

- After shaking hands (maybe a minute later, or an hour later), he remembers doing it. He smiles, and thinks how that was a good thing. He feels a slight doubt about it, but he turns it over in his mind. It's probably okay. No, it's definitely okay. There's nothing to worry about.

- A little bit later, he's in the kitchen. Without even noticing it, he starts washing his hands under the cold water. He didn't really need to wash them just at this moment. He starts to think, that's odd. But he reassures himself that it's okay, because he's not distressed. He feels okay. It would only be a compulsion if he felt distressed, which he doesn't. And he didn't even notice he was washing his hands. And he isn't even using soap, or hot water. So it doesn't really count as a compulsion. And he wouldn't NEED to do it. He'd be okay if he didn't, he reminds himself.

- Later, in the office, someone is passing some food around. It's someone's birthday. He looks at it; there are bisuits, and he loves bisuits. But he notices that people have touched them with their bare hands. The pack is passed to him. He's really hungry, but somehow he can't can't bring himself to eat any. He passes the pack on to the next person. He thinks for a moment. "I'm hungry, why did I do that? Well, it's not that I've still got a fear of germs. But people WERE touching them with their hands. And I know for a fact that at least one of them probably doesn't wash his hands when he goes to the toilet. So it totally reasonable not to want to eat those biscuits." He turns it over in his mind as he's typing a letter. "It doesn't count as a compulsion if I'm not really distressed, does it? I mean, I wasn't really hungry anyway. And it'll be lunchtime soon." He glances at the pack of biscuits as they get passed around, his stomach rumbling. He'll wait till lunch...

Compulsions, anyone?

OCD Londoner.

Fri Nov 18 2011 10:49:27 #
Tess
Member

Hi OCD Londoner
What you say makes huge sense - so what do you suggest? Do you think it is possible to rid yourself of all compulsions and be 100% OCD free or is it just a case of changing your behaviour and way of life so that the OCD is no longer destructive and constantly anxiety provoking. I have always thought the latter, believing that with current medical knowledge OCD is for life but the negative aspects can be minimsed and the positive ones channelled into a productive and fulfilling life.

Fri Nov 18 2011 11:23:59 #
Unregistered

Hi Tess,

I agree with you completely. That's exactly how I see my situation. Here's my view of "OCD Freedom":

(1) I believe that I have a predisposition to OCD. This may be genetic; it may be caused by my life experiences (and learned from watching my crazy family!); or it may be caused by the way I INTERPRETED my life experiences as a child and young adult. The current mainstream thinking seems to be that it's probably a cocktail of all 3 of those things. The first lesson I learned is that it doesn't matter how I got here; the only important thing is learning how to get out of here!

(2) I can never stop having intrusive thoughts. I'm sorry if that disappoints anyone, but you might as well decide not to breathe any more. EVERYBODY experiences intrusive thoughts, every day. It's a natural, normal part of being human.

(3) As I will always experience intrusive thoughts, I have to learn how to interpret those thoughts -- no matter what their content -- as being unimportant. I have to learn to attach no meaning to the thoughts, through a thorough understanding of what they really are.

(4) The less distressed I feel about the intrusive thoughts, the less frequently I will have them, and the less worried I will be when I have them.

(5) OCD cannot exist without both Obsessions and Compulsions. It's like a fire, that requires both a flame and oxygen. If you take the oxygen away, there can't be a big fire. If you put the flame out, there can't be a big fire. There has to be both. The same with OCD. It cannot live without both Obsessions and Compulsions.

(6) By breaking the cycle of compulsions, you take away one of the necessary ingredients for OCD. OCD cannot survive without both ingredients.

(7) I have to stick to monitoring myself for signs that I might be giving in to compulsions. If I really understand what obsessions and compulsions are, I can figure them out when I see them.

(8) Over time, the frequency and / or distress level of the intrusive thoughts will drop...and drop...and drop...until it is minimal. At that stage, when taking the standard question-and-answer tests for OCD, I would score in the range below the level that gives a diagnosis of OCD.

(9) Throughout my life, I anticipate that the frequency and distress level of my intrusive thoughts will fluctuate. The less stress there is in my life, and the more I stick to not acting on my compulsions -- and being conscious when I start carrying out new compulsions -- the better I will be able to stay on top of my OCD, and "keep it in its box".

(10) I will always have a predisposition for OCD, for the rest of my life. So, like a "recovering alcoholic", I will always be "recovering". If an alcoholic doesn't have one drink for the last 60 years of his life, he might still call himself a "recovering alcoholic" until his dying day. And for a good reason.

(11) I will keep using OCD support groups, and OCD forums, and going to follow-up sessions with CBT therapists for as long as I want to. (Forever, if I can.) Again, just like a recovering alcoholic who never has a drop of wine, the smart one keeps going to the AA meetings for the rest of his life.

(12) Because I have a predisposition (and a history) of OCD, it will always be relatively easy for my OCD to flare up again, at any time during the rest of my life. Stressful life events will act as triggers; this is inevitable. If and when I "fall off the wagon", and feel that I would score highly on OCD tests again (you know it when it's happening), then I will go back and re-read the CBT / OCD books, go to even more support group meetings, and request another course of CBT if I feel like I need it.

(13) I will live my life "one day at a time", just like a recovering alcoholic. And I will try to live my life "as if" I don't have OCD.

(14) If my OCD gets the better of me again in the future, I will try not to become the self-hating low self-esteemer that I was so many years, and try to remember that I'm not a bad person, and I deserve to have a good quality of life, just like everyone else.

OCD Londoner.

Fri Nov 18 2011 15:45:52 #
njb
Member

Fantastic post. Your synopsis of how to cope for life is spot on and exactly what I needed to articulate - thankyou.

I will say though that whilst I agree Pure O is same as normal OCD in every way it is 'perceived' by the sufferer as harder to control and articulate, so for example the range and type of ruminations/negating practises are not generally homogenous in that there probably exists some quirks (albeit I still agree that the is no doubt generic boundaries such as counting, repeating a number of times, re-playing the thought and so fourth).

Thu Jan 5 2012 11:03:06 #
Mike
Member

Omanem,

Since you already recognize that your fears are irrational, I don't think cognitive therapy will help you. In fact, it may make it worse, since it offers ritualization and reassurance as the solution. Telling yourself over and over again that your fears are unfounded, that there is no evidence that you did anything bad, and analyzing the events of the night, will probably only serve as compulsions that will prevent you from overcoming this.

ERP therapy is likely your best bet for overcoming this fear. You need to accept the possibility that you did something bad, and move on with your life. ERP can train your mind to do this, so that you will react to the uncertainty about this situation the same way you would react to the uncertainty about any other situation.

-Mike

Thu Jan 5 2012 19:53:12 #