Thank you, both of you, for taking the time to reply to me, I really do appreciate it.
I wont engage with the CMHT as they do not have any understanding of OCD. I knew more than they did because of my own reading.
I have telephoned my local MIND to ask about their support services. Theit website stated that they provide one to one support sessions. When I asked the lady this on the telephone she said "we only run those groups twice a year" to which I replied "your website states that you offer one to one sessions" she changed the subject to whether I was a member of MIND or not. If someone doesnt know the answer to something then they shouln't say that they dont offer a service they should say that they will find out about the service and then actually get bck to the person who asked the question.
I have to get a referral form when I am next in town to fill in and then get my gp to fill in and then send it back to MIND to see whether I fit their criteria to use their services. This seems like a very long winded thing to do. I have emailed MIND asking them what their criteria is as I dont see the point in doing all what I have jsut mentioned only to be told that I dont meet the criteria. I haven't got a reply and I am not holding my breath for one either.
I dont actually go to town as I dont go out other than to take my daughter to school. so MIND isn't really a place where I would actually get that much support from.
I ask for help from different services and it is always a fight. A fight which I dont have the energy to fit.
As well as OCD, I also suffer from depression and socal phobia. Because of my depression I do find it so much harder to work on my OCD. Sometimes I use my depresion as an excuse as not to work on my OCD. I feel like I am struggling to keep my head above water, I have these heavy weights pulling me down (OCD, Depression, social phobia) and it would be such a relief to just give in, to stop struggling, stop fighting.
I am on 60mg seroxat and 200mg trazodone. I have been on 60 mg of seroxat for about a year now. I know that there is only so much that tablets can do and realise that only I can change myself, I just dont have the energy to - I dont care enough about myself to change.
I have made an appointment to see a GP at my doctors surgery. I had one GP whom I saw regularly and who knew my past medical history well. She has left the practice and now I see one of the lady doctors, all of whom I do not feel 100% comfortable with. I am tired of having to keep explaining my history. I am going to ask to be referred back to see the psychiatrist. I already know the answer will be no, or either a yes and then the team whom i didn't engage with will say that i dont fit their criteria to be seen.
I have had a lot of CBT for my depression, social phobia and low self esteem. Yet I still dont follow any of the techniques that I have learnt. I am very overweight which doesn't help, my comfort and firend who is always there is junk food.
Sorry for the long rant.
Vicky