OCD Action

overthinker
Member

should we feel bad, guilty and punish ourselves for:-

our thoughts, images etc

the doubting

are we those people deep down ??

do we have to sit a feel guilty for having them even though we will eventually recover do we still feel guilty then ... because i do ...

iv relapsed into anorexia and bulimia it keeps me safe helps me obsess over something more easier and guilt free calories, weight and exercise im going to never stop as i would rather have anorexia and bulimia thaan these thoughts besides at least im kind of punishing myself for ever having them

i feel i dont deserve to be happy i should isolate myself im going to hell i just know it :/

Mon Aug 1 2011 18:35:54 #
blueboy
Member

HI overthinker,
i am so sorry to hear about how much you are sufferring right now..
i also suffer from intrusive thoughts... its what makes up my ocd mostly now... i used to have compulsions to touch things and check a lot... but now i dont do that much except to lock the door ...i have just been going through another bad bout of obsessional thinking and havent been outdoors for days..i constantly try to resolve it in my mind or write down... but i never do...trying to move on from my obsession is very hard.. all i want to say is i know how bad the thoughts get.. and yet they ARE only thoughts.... but i get so much guilt too..i am isolated at this period...i know this isnt much help but i wanted to reply.

Mon Aug 1 2011 19:07:12 #
overthinker
Member

isnt the guilt just the worst feeling oh and the anxiety and the fact you get constant doubts its soooo horrible

Mon Aug 1 2011 19:39:11 #
Eangels
Member

hi
i suffer with obsessional thoughts too, more so than the checking rituals. i had a bad time last week and it was as if i wasnt really here...like i was watching life from another level or from behind a screen. it makes me wonder why some of us get these intrusive thoughts. debilitating mentally and physically i say. i so hate it too, and am sorry to hear u r having a crap time with it. yes the guilt is bad too im off work due to this mental torture x

Mon Aug 1 2011 21:24:19 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Eangels,

Welcome to the forum

I'm sorry that you're having such a bad time. This is a friendly forum and we do our best to help and support each other.

Trudy

Mon Aug 1 2011 21:40:59 #
blueboy
Member

yES the guilt is awful for me too.. i get so incredibly anxious that i freeze... it ruins life basicaly

Mon Aug 1 2011 21:50:41 #
Tess
Member

Hi everyone
I'm going to answer the original question and I know it's much easier said than done but the rational answer is NO, NO, NO - you shouldn't feel guilty because you have nothing to feel guilty about. You don't want the thoughts, you don't enjoy them, you don't make them happen and you certainly won't act on them.
Overthinker, relapsing into anorexia and bulima is not going to help you or anyone else. It may not carry the same guilt burden to you as the content of your intrusive thoughts and it may make you feel better in the short term but it can have very serious effects on your physical health. You are punishing yourself for something which doesn't deserve any punishment and you are also punishing all those people who love you. There is a lovely young lady in our support group who struggles with OCD, BDD and anorexia and for a long time she was in denial about what she was doing to her body, but a recent bone scan has shown that she has osteoporosis and the condition of her bones is what the specialists would expect to be seeing in someone in their 90's. She is now starting to eat and putting on weight but the damage is done, her life will be short and physically painful and it is heartbreaking for her husband, her parents and all her friends.

Tue Aug 2 2011 9:05:41 #
overthinker
Member

but i deserve the physical pain i really do i cannot live with myself i cannot live with this today is a very bad day two days ago i knew i wasnt a 'p' now im convinced i am one and terrified il prove myself right i feel sick i cant eat anyways im filled with dread anxiety fear today has just been the worse day il never be cured of this they say that those who are abused abuse in the future my mind says i am one of them i just feel disgusted with myself and dont ever want to be around a child i know this sounds harsh but i wish they didnt exist just so i wouldnt have this grrrrr i cannot cope today at all

Tue Aug 2 2011 10:05:40 #
Gab
Member

I think saying that you don't deserve to be happy is horribly punishing to yourself. Of course you do if you have not done anything to deliberately hurt somebody else and just because you have a thought that you may means you have a conscience and are human.That is a good thing.There are allot of bad people out there who don't have one.

Tue Aug 2 2011 17:25:53 #
Ratwomble
Member

No guilt needed. You wouldn't feel guilty for having a cold? Or a broken leg? This is no different.

But try not to run into the arms of another more dangerous problem to escape OCD.

Hugs

David

Wed Aug 3 2011 12:20:57 #
josophie
Member

i suffered from intrusive thoughts about a year ago april and i found it extremely difficult to live a normal life,i felt like i was destined to be a bad person and do something terrible.the thoughts dissolved slowly and ive not had them for about 8 months now but recently they seem to be slowly creeping back and this time im seeking help.

Tue Aug 16 2011 17:40:26 #
ally82
Member

I know how this feels I just feel for myself at the moment I will always have the question did I really do that in my life.

Sun Sep 4 2011 13:22:43 #
cc11
Member

overthinker - I wanted to share with you something my CBT therapist that said to me that you would do well to remember. If these thoughts were the real you you would not have the horrific anxiety that you are feeling.

Just to be clear this isnt reassurance but everyone time you feel really bad maybe try to remember that.

Are you have CBT? It may help.

Take care

Sun Sep 4 2011 16:37:05 #