OCD Action

« Previous 12

slogsweep
Member

I hope its not put people off contributing

While I say 'over defensive' there is such thing as over aggression too. Even therapists have to show understanding, respect and compassion.

I use OCD action's forums to engage with people, nay, friends who understand what it's like to live with this. Problem shared problem halved etc. Luckily there are many people on here that always provide a shoulder to cry on when things get tough. I felt terrible particulary just before CBT and Cuthbert I can't thank you enough for that little boost before I had to face the waiting room.

Thanks again. Please let me know how you're all doing, lets forget my tape mistake, I'm trying to.

Best wishes and good night,

Slog

Thu Jan 26 2012 23:43:12 #
Mike
Member

Slog,

That's great that you feel better after your session today. Do you think you already knew all the things your therapist told you (i.e., that you were overreacting, that you're not a bad person, etc.)? I think you struck gold with #4, in which your therapist talked about your inability to deal with uncertainty. Did I break the tapes? Am I a bad person that I didn't apologize? Am I a bad person that I didn't tell anyone? Are people going to think less of me? Uncertainty like this is something we all have to accept every day, and for people with OCD it no problem - EXCEPT on the issue the OCD targets. So to ultimately have control over these worries, uncertainty must be accepted, just like how you accept uncertainty for everything else. Ideally, with enough CBT, the same situation could repeat and you could have the same thoughts about being a bad person, or people thinking bad things about you, and you would simply accept these possibilities, without much anxiety.

Thu Jan 26 2012 23:54:36 #
slogsweep
Member

Hi Mike,

Yes she's very good and has been working really hard on my behalf. She's not only sorting the OCD but putting me in contact with careers help and other avenues where I can receive support. I hugely regret not going to see the University's pastoral care department sooner. If I could have sorted this first year I think I'd have, on the whole had a far, far better university experience.

I fully agree with:

I think you struck gold with #4, in which your therapist talked about your inability to deal with uncertainty. Did I break the tapes? Am I a bad person that I didn't apologize? Am I a bad person that I didn't tell anyone? Are people going to think less of me? Uncertainty like this is something we all have to accept every day, and for people with OCD it no problem - EXCEPT on the issue the OCD targets.

That felt like a big breakthrough for me. I'm now mostly certain that it is my thoughts that are broken, not my actions and that I can beat this. When I saw the diagram she made of all of my personal problems both historical and current, coupled with OCD symptoms and a naturally caring attitude it all suddenly makes sense. Every now and again these little chinks of light that peer through the OCD burst into a great shining glow and that was one of those moments.

Cheers for the feedback,

Slog

Fri Jan 27 2012 12:57:09 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Slog, at least your CBT went okay, and that is brilliant, it gives me courage while waiting for mine... I don't know what to say now, but I'll chat again later on I think... Hi Tess, thank you for your kind words... I'm too sensitive at the moment with my catheter... It isn't easy is it?
Wannabe

Fri Jan 27 2012 13:06:25 #
slogsweep
Member

Wannabe I'm sure the CBT will make a huge difference. Definitely something to look forward to as scary as it can be.

How's your overall health, not just the OCD? I hope you're OK, you're absolutely vital to this forum and it's so sad to see you struggling. Make sure you're treating yourself for every little success because I can't imagine the effect that a catheter must be having on your OCD.

Best wishes

Slog

Fri Jan 27 2012 13:36:54 #
BT
Member

Loved this from Cuthbert:

“Yes, there are rules, general rules regarding OCD and CBT. But these are not set in stone, nor did Moses bring them down from Mount Horeb. Each set of OCD symptoms in a given person is different from that in the next subject with the disorder.”

Slog, I’m pleased your therapist has helped you.

Wannabe, I hope the catheter won’t be in for much longer. I truly feel for you.

Tess, wonderful to see you back here.

And, Mike, lots to say but little time, except that we must be so careful with our advice. It should only be advice, not dogmatic, opinionated instructions. You stated: “It would be very dangerous for a doctor or therapist to recommend giving in to compulsions…”

It can sometimes be very dangerous for a person not to. I’ll explain another time.

Fri Jan 27 2012 14:10:13 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi BT, Hi Slog, thank you ever so much for your kind words... Yes, the catheter is working, or at least I believe it is... I'm washing my hands even more now because of that, but I have to go through with it... I know how to change my pipework too, so if I don't get the nursing support, I can do it myself... I haven't got a contact phone number for them, so I can't chase them up to see what is happening... I'm trying to just relax with it, at least I'm not stuck unable to go loo! It is bizarre that it happens at this time of year, really wierd... I had lots of chocolate over Christmas, but didn't think that could cause a problem... I hope not anyway, cos I'm a slave to fruit and nut chocolate! I've heard that peanuts can lead to kidney stones, but I don't think that that is it...
I'll be back on forums this evening...
Wannabe

Fri Jan 27 2012 14:38:49 #
Mike
Member

Slog -

Just to be clear, it's not our THOUGHTS that are the problem, it's how we REACT to the thoughts. Studies have shown that there is no significant difference in the types of thoughts OCD and non-OCD people have. What IS different is the reaction to the thoughts - people with OCD will have a thought and then either 1) try not to have it, or 2) ask what that thought means about them as a person. These reactions cause a lot of anxiety and "what if's". The goal is to change our reaction to the thoughts, to match how we would respond to scary thoughts that are not targeted by our OCD. In your example, if someone without OCD thought they might have broken the tapes, and some quick thoughts popped into their head: "Did I break them?" "What if I did?" "Would people look down upon me?" They wouldn't give much credence to these thoughts, and the thoughts certainly would not affect how they saw themselves as a person. This is because they can accept the possibility that these things are true. People with OCD can't accept this possibility, so it becomes very scary to them, and that's what causes the anxiety. Then they try to do things to prove that the thoughts AREN'T true (compulsions). By refusing to give in to compulsions and accepting that these things might be true, we can begin to live a much happier, healthier life.

Fri Jan 27 2012 15:31:22 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone, it isn't easy is it? I really wish it was... I do a lot of avoidance as well, I can't help it, I sure wish it was easier... I'm gonna have an early night tonight I think, all this worrying is exhausting!
Here's hoping everyone is okay this evening...
Wannabe

Fri Jan 27 2012 20:21:36 #
BT
Member

Mike, I will not be presumptuous enough to speak for you nor anyone else on here. But, I also want to be clear, and say that in my case my thoughts are the problem. This has been pointed out to me many times over the last few decades. I have reached the stage now where I do not react to them, but they still keep bombarding me. Also, no member of my family has ever experienced the kind of thoughts I have.

I also believe that many with OCD are analytical and think far deeper than most of the population. Many think of things that their friends and families do not. Even as a child, my parents would be amazed at some of the statements I came out with. It wasn’t simply a case of my reacting differently to thoughts they were also having. I was dreaming up things they never had. I was also definitely experiencing different thoughts from my peers. I know this because I have since discussed it with them.

How are you today, Wannabe? Worrying is exhausting, not just mentally but physically as well.

Sat Jan 28 2012 13:08:52 #
Mike
Member

BT -

I understand what you're saying. It's certainly true that people with OCD have excessive rumination and worrying, so in terms of frequency, the thoughts are different. What I was referring to was the thought content. The thoughts that most people with OCD have, such as "did I just run someone over?" "does that make me a bad person?", or homosexual thoughts, blasphemous thoughts, etc., also occur in people without OCD. But people without OCD shrug them off, and the thoughts don't come back. People with OCD react to them by thinking they shouldn't be having those thoughts, questioning what the thoughts mean, or what the thoughts might mean about themselves, and it is thought that this is what makes the thoughts come back with such a vengeance. The more one tries to not think of something, the harder it is to get the thought out of one's head.

Sat Jan 28 2012 20:07:28 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi BT, I'm not too bad today... catheter still okay, and I'm fairly happy in myself... It was time to change some of the external plumbing on my catheter today, but I coped surprisingly well... There has been no leaks, which is brill, I was very worried about the possibility of leaks, but I'm managing everything and keeping everything reasonably clean with ease, so it is serving as a really good experience I suppose... Hopefully it is not for long... Went shopping today, picked up a basket and used my cards to pay, all without fear... I'm very tired now, after a pretty hectic day... How are you doing BT?
Wannabe

Sat Jan 28 2012 20:11:51 #
slogsweep
Member

I also believe that many with OCD are analytical and think far deeper than most of the population. Many think of things that their friends and families do not. Even as a child, my parents would be amazed at some of the statements I came out with. It wasn’t simply a case of my reacting differently to thoughts they were also having. I was dreaming up things they never had. I was also definitely experiencing different thoughts from my peers. I know this because I have since discussed it with them.

Absolutely 100% spot on here. I can relate to this statement so much. I thought about life, death, disease, heartbreak, love and fortune at an age where I should have been playing with Lego and worrying about where my next sweets were coming from.

I agree partly with BT and Mike. In my humble and not particularly knowledgeable opinion, having only my own experiences, this forum and a handful of OCD books to go on; the reaction to the thoughts is the prime cause of the initial problem, but because of this reaction another problem arises with the frequent bombardment of nasty thoughts. I'd go as far to say that they are comorbidities.

Such a good discussion going here everyone

Thank you,
Slog

Sat Jan 28 2012 21:04:10 #
slogsweep
Member

Rest up Wannabe, well done on today, we're all rooting for you to get well very quickly!

Best wishes

Slog

Sat Jan 28 2012 21:05:11 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Slog, thank you for your kind words... It certainly has been one hell of a day!
Wannabe

Sat Jan 28 2012 21:40:01 #
slogsweep
Member

No problem at all Wannabe, after the hundreds upon hundreds of uplifting words you've given me it's about time you had some back,

Night all,

Slog

Sat Jan 28 2012 22:51:24 #