OCD Action

Stifled
Member

Hi guys,
Opinions please…..
If you have a weird turn on, nothing terrible but you find something quite normal for an adult to do arousing (not massively but on a small level) and a child did it, and you found it arousing, not the child but what they were doing, is that the same as being aroused by the child? As an example lets use spanking, so a person likes being spanked, and a child hits them on the bum and they liked it, the brain was focusing on the turn on and not who was causing it, would that mean they had been turned on by the child?

As far as I can remember this hasn’t happened to me, but I worry that maybe somewhere in the past it has and I have felt aroused and I can’t remember and if I have I am a terrible person.

As my intrusive thoughts center around being some sort of pervert it is causing me to question everything I have ever said/done/thought sexually, pull it apart and worry about it.

Up until now I haven't really thought of myself as weird or immoral sexually but maybe because I didn't think of myself as weird I didn't give it any importance and that's why I don't remember??

So confused!!!

Thanks in advance.

Stifled x

Sun 9 Sep 2012 10:20 #
Tess
Member

Hi Stifled
I don't think that asking these questions is helping you because the OCD can just twist normal actions and emotions into endless thoughts about possible scenarios and the more you ask and we answer, we will all end up tying ourselves in knots. At some point you have to make a conscious effort to divert your thoughts away from this self persecution and it's better to do it sooner than later. I'm sorry if this sounds unkind but it is so hard to know how to answer you when the very thing you crave so much, reassurance, is not going to help you long term.

Sun 9 Sep 2012 11:14 #
Stifled
Member

Hi Tess,

Thanks for your response, I know deep down that you are right, and it doesn't sound unkind. I know that you are saying these things for my own benefit but I have trouble seeing that the way that I am worrying about these things is OCD, I just see it as a problem that I have only just realised that I need to figure out, so the act of ignoring it to me is like accepting that it would be ok to be a bad person and I don't want to be a bad person.

I understand that you don't want to give me reassurance, but please can you just tell me, is that because you genuinely do think that I am a bad person so reassuring me would be a lie?

Thanks.

Stifled x

Sun 9 Sep 2012 11:33 #
Truddles
Member

I agree with Tess

I understand that you don't want to give me reassurance, but please can you just tell me, is that because you genuinely do think that I am a bad person so reassuring me would be a lie?
I'm sure that Tess will agree with this the answer is NO. The reason reassurance isn't given is for the reasons Tess stated. And reassurance will temporarily lower your anxiety but then the OCD will throw up more questions getting you deeper and deeper into the OCD cycle of uncertainty.
You need to stop being so hard on yourself. Have a look at Another tool for tackling our OCD

Sun 9 Sep 2012 11:50 #
Stifled
Member

Hi Truddles, thanks for your response, I know that you are both so right but I just feel so overridden with fear that I can't ignore my minds need for certainty and reassurance, which causes me to ruminate, think I have found the answer, feel better, then a few days later a new worry will appear and I go back to square one but I'm too worried and frightened to stop doing this.

I will read the article.

Thank you.

Stifled x

Sun 9 Sep 2012 12:00 #
Stifled
Member

P.S I am so so sorry if I am annoying people with my posts that really is not my intention, I'd hate to think I was upsetting people.

So sorry.

Stifled x

Sun 9 Sep 2012 12:11 #
Truddles
Member

You're not annoying me with your posts - far from it That's your OCD talking combined with your lack of self-esteem. Did you read the book that was suggested in a previous thread?
OCD does make us over think and analyse our every thought. Has your psychiatrist offered you CBT (I can't remember whether you've said) and if not ask to be referred for CBT as this will help with this tangle that you're getting yourself into because of the OCD.

Sun 9 Sep 2012 12:18 #
Stifled
Member

The book by Melanie Fennell? I got it thank you, I haven't started to read it yet, I wanted to be in a slightly better place emotionally so that I could take it in, but maybe I should start to read it now?

My referral for further help has been submitted, I was going to pay for private therapy as I so want to get better but my Psychiatrist doesn't think I would get the full benefit from it just yet as it is still early days (I was admitted voluntarily to hospital for 5 days just over a month ago as I was quite seriously suicical). I am so much better and no longer feel suicical but I just can't stop going over the past and I can't shake the feeling that I am a really bad or weird person.

How are you both today Tess and Truddles? Are you having a nice weekend?

Truddles well done on your achievements, I always see them and smile, it's nice to read about other peoples little victories

Stifled x

Sun 9 Sep 2012 12:31 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Stifled,

I'm well or rather as well as can be expected How are you?

I thoroughly recommend the book as it will help you to cope with CBT. It will also help you to deal with your OCD. When our self-esteem is low it's difficult to deal with anything effectively.

I like to see other people's victories too, though not enough people post them.

BTW I was given a CD on procrastination by my therapist a couple of weeks ago and still haven't listened to it

Sun 9 Sep 2012 12:38 #
Stifled
Member

I am glad that you are well, I'm not too bad, I had a good few days this week but yesterday and today have been a little harder, to be expected I guess.

I will read the book then, I will start today in fact

Your sentance about the procrastination CD has just made me chuckle

Stifled x

Sun 9 Sep 2012 12:46 #
Tess
Member

Hi Stifled
It's nice to come on and find you've been chatting to Trudy and everything she is telling you is correct and of course I don't think you are a bad person, you are just suffering from OCD and we've all been where you are now and just want to help you get better.

Sun 9 Sep 2012 13:37 #
Stifled
Member

Thanks Tess, you have both been a huge help, I am grateful for and admire the way that you both, and others, still take the time to help other people when you are trying to deal with your own difficulties.

Stifled x

Mon 10 Sep 2012 16:00 #
Tess
Member

Hi Stifled
Some of us are further into the journey than others so we have learned ways of dealing with our own OCD, not perfect by any means but at least going in the right direction - and you will do too but it's a slow journey and you are still at the start.

Mon 10 Sep 2012 18:23 #
Stifled
Member

Thanks Tess, I hope so.

Stifled x

Tue 11 Sep 2012 16:45 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone... Yes, it is the OCD making life a struggle... It is said that things improve over time... I'm struggling too at present... The CBT helps us to challenge things... What is the book by Melanie Fennell called? I missed the thread it was on... I'm having major difficulties with my internet connection at present...
Wannabe

Tue 11 Sep 2012 20:19 #
Soxon
Key Master

Hi wannabe,

The book is called Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell.

Tue 11 Sep 2012 21:07 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Soxon, Thank you for that... By the way, How are you? We don't hear from you very often
Wannabe

Tue 11 Sep 2012 21:17 #
Soxon
Key Master

I'm well thank you and yourself? I'm might not say much but I'm always here

Tue 11 Sep 2012 21:27 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Soxon, I'm coping, just... I'm doing ERP as part of my CBT, and it has been a hell of a struggle, but I'm getting small advances with it...
Wannabe

Tue 11 Sep 2012 22:34 #
Stifled
Member

Hi Wannabe,

How was your holiday?

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment

I have just started to read the book, I haven't read enough of it yet to pass comment but lots of other people on here have given very positive reviews of it.

I got mine from eBay, I find it very good for second hand books at a fraction of the price.

Stifled x

Wed 12 Sep 2012 9:37 #
Mike
Blocked

Stifled,

Any time you start to entertain questions like these, you are digging yourself into a deeper hole. The answers to the questions are irrelevant, and in addition any attempt to answer them will be in vain, because you will not feel certain. Thus, the questions must remain unanswered and you should force yourself to stop asking them (to yourself or to others).

If the uncertainty is causing too much anxiety, you should be doing exposure to these fears with a licensed therapist.

Any time a new OCD fear comes up, that is simply another uncertainty that exists in this world that we have no choice but to live with. Living with uncertainty is inevitable, and attaining certainty is impossible. It is how we cope with the uncertainty that dictates how much we suffer from it. People without anxiety disorders can cope magnificently well with all forms of uncertainty, at least most of the time. People with OCD, especially, have extreme problems coping with just a handful of uncertainties, and cope just fine with the endless other uncertainties that exist in the world. The best method of learning how to cope better with uncertainty is ERP therapy.

Wed 12 Sep 2012 19:53 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Stifled, holiday went okay thanks, mind you, I've now found out that we need to move house again... But I won't hijack your thread on that, I'll use my own...
Wannabe

Thu 13 Sep 2012 16:33 #