OCD Action

Sammy
Member

Hey,
I don't know if anyone will read this. Or if anyone will really care.
I am 12 add one.
The unlucky number.
Okay, I can't say it.
My OCD has been affecting me for ages.
I will start from what MAY have caused it.
In 2004 my Daddy died of cancer. I was 7.
That seems weird to me because 7 is a lucky number.
Well, anyway, I have been affected by OCD. Right foot first when walking, left foot next. ALWAYS start with my right foot. Chew food, first to the right, then to the left. Take an even number of steps and say an even amount of words. I must never thinnk of a bad thing and move or do something at the same times. It must be done repeatedly until it seems right and I'm thinking of a good thing. It cannot be done 5 or 6 or 9 times, though. If it goes past the unlucky number it must be repeated 24 times. If it's a bad day... 100. I can't even type without having to think of nice things. It's really frustrating. And I get these really bad thoughts that I can't tell anyone about. I told my friend once, but I don't think she believed me. I was upset about OCD. My mum tells me off because I don't do much exercise. I can't be bothered with my rituals. I just want to stay still and not move, not think, think only of peace, yet still be here and normal. I have tried stopping, but I just can't and that's really frustrating. I need therapy, as it is affecting my schoolwork and my handwriting. I have to scribble words out and touch my work with the pen the right amount of times. I need to breathe right sometimes, too. I have to have things straight and neat and tidy. My friend left me down (up(OCD, sorry, I have to say up)) here with the computer a mess to go to bed. Bow I have to clean it up, which will take me ages and upset and frustrate me. Great. My mum doesn't understand it, she thinks I can just get over it. I just really need help, I can't go on like this.
It's not okay for me to be like this, I don't like it, it depresses me.
Oh, and I hardly ever go out, it takes me ages to get dressed ect. and I'm afraid of the outside, too, so...
Please help me.
PLEASE REPLY!
xxxx

Tue Feb 16 2010 2:07:32 #
DEAD!
Blocked

Hiya,

Sorry you're having a hard time

You should go see your GP - I think you need to go with your mum, but you could ask her to wait out side for a few minutes.

Maybe print out what you have here and let your GP see.

Tue Feb 16 2010 10:14:17 #
Nimrod
Key Master

Hi Sammy,

I am sorry to hear about your problems. Have you been diagnosed by a doctor and if so are you having any treatment or medication? There are things that can be done to help and your doctor is the best person to see about that. Don't blame your mum for not understanding as OCD is a very difficult thing to understand and I don't think that anyone can understand it properly, however, it is possible to understand how it can affect people but even that is difficult. As you say you really do need help and your doctor is the best person to help so if you can see him/her, preferably with your mum, that would be great. I know that may be dificult to arrange so in the meantime you cal call our helpline on 0845 390 6232 or email support@ocdaction.org.uk

You may find others on this forum who have similar problems and can offer some tips about how they cope and you will find people here who know about OCD and you can always ask them either on the forum or by sending them a private message.

Best wishes,
Caps

Tue Feb 16 2010 10:22:54 #
Unregistered

Hi dear Sammy

I am so very sorry to hear what your are going through.

I did do some of these things when I was a bit older than you. I still do counting now. And I also have lucky and unlucky numbers.

I will send you a friendship request in case you need to talk off the forum.

Very best wishes for getting better

Anne

Tue Feb 16 2010 11:22:11 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Sammy,

Two in the morning - shouldn't you have been sleeping or is your OCD causing problems sleeping?

Seriously it's hard when OCD controls your life isn't it? But it doesn't have to be the end of the world even though at the time it feels like it, there is help out there. In the meantime please use the forum, we all have OCD and so can appreciate the distress that OCD can cause. Remember OCD is a bully.

I agree with Caps that the first step is to see your GP to get some help. Taking that first step isn't easy but once you have things will start to improve. Taking your mum is a good idea as the doctor will hopefully be able to explain things to her and let her know that you can't help your actions.

Did you ever receive counselling for when your Dad died? Losing a parent when you are so young can be very traumatic and difficult to come to terms with.

You can always send a PM to any of us by using the blue box under our names, if you don't feel like posting on the forum.

Please remember you do not need to go through this alone, we do care and we all have OCD and sharing with each other both the good and the bad really does help.

Best wishes

Trudy

Tue Feb 16 2010 18:38:50 #
Sammy
Member

Hey,
I honestly didn't think I'd get a reply! Thankyou for your sympathy, too. No, it's not causing sleeping problems, it's just I was with a friend and, since she'd gone to bed, I was up - Again trying to find help with self-curing OCD or a help website.
I didn't recieve any councelling when my Dad died. It's a blank, to be truely honest. I was just upset, I guess.
I would go to see my GP, but I don't want to tell mum, incase she thinks it's just me being silly.
She's usually really understanding, but I think she gets a bit distressed with my rituals. I don't blame her, really.
So, thankyou for all your help, I'm really grateful you have taken time to read and reply.
Thankyou, it made my day.
Sammy x

Tue Feb 16 2010 19:40:51 #
Ella
Member

Hi sammy, I am 12 plus one too, but I can say it, but I don't want to say it as I may make you upset about it. Hope thats OK.I do symmetrical things too, and I know it can be annoying. I type everything 5 times, and my volume on the television has to be on a multiple on five too. There are lots of other things too, but it would wear me out having to type it out five times! What I did was go to the school counsellor and tell them about it, wrote my Mum a letter so that she couldn't interrupt halfway through, and then I went to my doctor and he sorted out a meeting with an OCD center.

Hope this helps!
Ella

Fri Dec 3 2010 23:05:12 #
ac
Member

Hi Sammy. I was so sorry to read about what you were going through, at the time of your original post. I really hope things are going better for you now.

I've had OCD since childhood, but for many years, I didn't know what it was. When I was 17, it got really bad and I told my parents about my fears. They didn't realise what it was either and, although they tried to be supportive, I didn't think they really understood. Finally, I came across a magazine article, in which a woman discussed her battle with various forms of OCD. Because she had experienced many of the things I was going through, I then realised that I had OCD too. I showed my parents the article and they did some additional research on the condition.

Did you manage to discuss it with your mum and/ or doctor? If she hasn't done so already, you could perhaps ask your mum to read some information on OCD, or even allow her to read this thread. One of my therapists recommended The 'OCD Workbook' and this really helped me to explain to my boyfriend what I was going through.It also has some useful advice about managing this condition. You do need some help and support- it's too hard to cope with this alone.

I know it's difficult, but confiding in trustworthy people and getting support from your doctor will really help.

Good luck X.

Wed Jan 19 2011 7:16:29 #