OCD Action

Change
Member

Hello all, newbie here.

Not quite sure what I want to say, but I'll do my best to explain. So much to try and cram into one post!

I (think I) suffer from contamination OCD (emetophobia?). It's a fairly recent development for me, and one that I can only attribute to the stress brought on by the routine of working life.

Like most of us, I've had my share of issues in the past - not least a long-standing anxiety disorder - but, until a year or so ago, my situation had been stable, and I was relatively content. Perhaps 'safe' is a better word. Safe, but going nowhere. I was all but unemployed (working from home, but bringing in very little work), and wasting my life away at a time when I should be planning and earning for the future.

This all changed when I was lucky enough to be "spotted" and snapped up by an employee back at the beginning of the year. At the time, it seemed almost too good to be true - a job, doing what I've always dreamt of doing, handed to me on a plate.

10 months on, and I'm about to crack. I've been able to put up a front for this long, but the facade is beginning to slip. My concentration is at an all-time low, my standard of work is falling, and it's beginning to become obvious to my colleagues - not to mention my manager - that I'm struggling.

I know now is the time to seek help, but I'm terrified of losing my job (which I love, and is, in a lot of ways, the only thing keeping me going) if I have to undertake a course of therapy and miss out on work as a consequence. I'm working all hours at home, too, sometimes as a sole trader, and others to catch up on what I've missed at work. There are barely enough hours in the day as is; something's going to have to give sooner or later, but it can't be my job.

I suppose my question to you is: How does OCD impact your working life, and how do you cope?

Thanks for reading.

Sat Nov 19 2011 13:29:25 #
Soxon
Key Master

Hi Change,

Welcome to the forum.

The OCD Action Advocacy Service has produced an information leaflet called OCD and Work - Your Rights

Soxon
Keymaster

Sat Nov 19 2011 15:10:59 #
Tess
Member

Hi Change and welcome to the forum. You have asked a massive question - how does OCD impact upon working life. Firstly I think you need to work out if you actually have OCD or whether you are just suffering from excessive stress and overload. No-one can work at the level which you seem to be doing without eventually falling apart. Are you trying to meet unreasonable expectations from your manager or are you imposing unreasonable expectations on yourself? If it is the latter then OCD may be a factor because OCD sufferers tend to be conscientious, perfectionist and can have an overwhelming feeling of personal responsibility. We can make excellent loyal employees because our work is so accurate and reliable, we are consumed with guilt if we take sick leave so we struggle on when others would have retreated to their sick bed - but the downside is that we are more vulnerable to stress and our work may be slower because of our need to check and to ensure we perform to the very best of our abilty.
So how do we cope? By being sensible about our physical needs for relaxation, exercise, sleep, diet, healthy lifestyle. By realising when we have taken on too much and addressing it at an early stage to avoid falling apart.
I think you need to make an appointment with your GP, explain your symptoms and take it from there.

Sat Nov 19 2011 18:44:16 #
playthoseblues
Member

Hi Tess,

That post really is helpful for me. I'm really stressing with work at the moment, and OCD keeps making me feel guilty when I relax, it makes me think I should always be working! But my therapist is making me delay doing work, because otherwise I will go overboard. That then makes me overcomplicate simple tasks

Thanks

Jon

Sun Nov 20 2011 10:03:55 #
Tess
Member

HI Jon
Thanks so much, you've made my day.

Sun Nov 20 2011 11:19:52 #
Tess
Member

Jon - an afterthought. It's very easy for OCD sufferers to become targets in the workplace if we don't keep our wits about us and try to look at situations objectively. We can be targets of jealousy because of our abilities, conscientiousness and accurate work, we can be used and walked over because of our lack of self esteem and self confidence by others who will take everything we offer to further their own ambitions and leave us high and dry, we can be bullied unmercifully, we can be overworked to the point of breakdown to meet departmental targets to make up for those who don't pull their weight. I know because I've got the tee shirt and learned the hard way. So watch out for these behaviours in others and be ready to stand up for fair treatment. There is no defence to these work practices if you challenge them so it is your own fear which is actually in control.

Sun Nov 20 2011 11:38:46 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi all, yes, OCD was the undoing of my working life... GP is a good step definitely, because they are first port of call for therapy, and medications, which aren't a bad thing to help... Asking for help sooner rather than later, is the first step, takes tremendous courage, but we are human, we are fallible, and have to get help sometimes... We live in a very stressful world today, where everything seems performance related, and in which weaknesses of any kind aren't very well accepted by those around us... And yet we are natural, and fallible... The demands placed on us can be totally overwhelming, so a bit of time out from your work may well pay dividends in the long run...
wannabe

Sun Nov 20 2011 11:46:46 #
playthoseblues
Member

Hi Tess,

That was great thanks I even stess about doing my CBT tasks. I stress that I won't get them done sometimes. Even when I'm writing this I'm sitting at my desk trying to cram loads of work in

I just can't ever switch off, and then feel guilty when I relax, because then I believe I'm lazy and will not perform to my potenital

Thanks Again

Jon

Sun Nov 20 2011 12:18:49 #