Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)Hi
I haven't posted here in a while. I just need some advice.
My OCD is really ruining my life. I feel really depressed at the moment, getting panicky every time I think of work and I don't want to go in but I HAVE to. I can't stop self harming and don't know what to do about it all.
Any advice would be great.
Thanks!
Hi thinkingincodes... Like the name! Welcome to the forums...
For me, OCD and depression go hand in hand... It sounds to me that you would do well to visit your GP for medication, assuming you aren't on anything yet, also, time off work may become imperative... When things are really bad, we have a right to phone in sick to work, because we cannot function properly at home, never mind in a work environment... Work can sometimes be a distraction, distraction doesn't necessarily work with OCD, it is cruel like that, just as reassurance doesn't work for long, but sometimes it is all we have...
GP would refer you for CBT, but there is a thread on these forums about self-referral, check it out, and claim the care and support you deserve, and you do, whatever you may feel about yourself, you are worth it...
wannabe
Me also, I forget the proper term but it's common in OCD to have other mental problems arising because of it too. If you have depression it is vital you get it treated before therapy else the therapy will be overwhelmed by the depression.
Please, please don't self harm. It's a road I used to go down all the time and I never got anywhere with it, as tempting as it is sometimes still.
Slog
I am currently on Sertaline but on and off with it. I was a CAMHS since I was 14 and now I am with the adult team doing group therapy. After these 9 weeks that will go and I have no idea what to do. I really can't bear to go into work tomorrow, and its affecting all of my relationships. As understanding as my boyfriend is, I feel irresponsible and stupid when I tell him how I feel although he says it is okay.
I'm too scared to say anything in case I get taken into hospital.I'm just really struggling and don't know what to do... 
People aren't often hospitalised with OCD anymore, it may be misunderstood but one thing the medical profession is aware of is how we are totally harmless.
Your boyfriend is male lol, if he's anything like me if he says it's ok he is. It's the OCD making you over-think. Stay on the medication until you feel well enough for CBT. If you're struggling with work you have a right to medical leave with OCD.
We've all struggled or are struggling ourselves, but we're all here for each other against this nasty, horrible condition. There's always a wise voice to be heard on these forums and nobody is ever excluded.
Slog
Thank you- I really hope he is okay and not just saying that. Mum said I have to go into work tomorrow. I am 18 but I still live with her so.. there's not much I can do. Work do know about my OCD.It's just, work has become a chore and I don't enjoy it any more. My manager called me some names including neurotic and stupid.
I used to love everything, and I can feel anger and rage edging it's way into me. It's not nice!
I feel completely helpless, My parents don't understand, my boyfriend doesn't really know what to say apart from 'it's okay' but I should be glad he listens. I am grateful for him, don't get me wrong- it's just I really need help from people who can tell me what to do and what I need to do to be better.
I feel emotional all the time and feel like I'm fragile, if someone says anything bad about me I'll feel as though I'll break.
OCD has attacked every part of me.
The worst bit is, I'm starting to give in!
I'm not fully clued up on employee rights, but what your manager said is disgraceful and insensitive. It's like calling someone in a wheelchair "lazy". You should formally complain.
It all sounds like an attack of OCD and depression at the same time. First tackle the depression. From there I promise you it will get easier. If you need to speak to people with the disorder you have all of us here.
Try and get sleep too, at least 8 hours. OCD uses so much energy in the brain, I've posted some pictures on other forums of the activity our brains generate compared to those without OCD. The more sleep you get the better you will feel the following day. Just little steps looking after yourself enable you to make bigger steps later on.
There's always a friendly ear on here if you're ever stuck or need to talk. They've all been a godsend to me lately.
Hoping you have a better day tomorrow, and well done for posting rather than struggling on alone,
Slog
Hi Codes,
I feel EXACTLY the same way as you do. I'm doing A Levels, at the moment, but I feel so stressed over the work. I don't want to do the exams anymore, but I want to succeed in life. I fear that everytime I get work back, if there are any mistakes that means I'm not the best I can be. I also stress about every bit of work I get, and I also feel guilty when I have a break. I also get angry with others because of it
SPeak soon
Jon
Thank you. Do you know any effective ways to manage depression? I don't know what to do other than call my therapist up and I've never done that before with this team.
Jon, I know what you mean. I get angry with others too..
Do you have school today? Let me know how it goes 
Will do I'll post again tonight
Jon
For me, along with upping my dose of medication the most effective way of combating depression was learning about OCD and why I had these terrible thoughts and compulsions all the time. It made me feel less freakish, less alone and I discovered great books and people through OCD Action.
As someone who helped me greatly put it on here "knowledge is power against OCD." Those are words I've done my best to live by since. Having similarly minded people on here was the greatest help, the books they've introduced me too were vital and I'm sure that the medication taking effect helped massively too. Sadly it's something of a waiting game, but hang in there,
Slog
Hi thinkingincodes
I agree with what eveyone else has posted and here are a few positives to hang on to. You are young, you have started treatment for the OCD and you can come through this, the vast majority of OCD sufferers will recover substantially and learn to manage the OCD so that they can go on to live happy productive lives.
I'm old enough to be your grandmother, there was no treatment when I was your age and I've managed to improve hugely, so if I can do it, you most certainly can.
Your manager is totally out of order calling you names - and certainly needs to learn how to manage staff. You need support, encouragement and praise, not abuse. Keep a private record of the nasty and unkind things which are said to you, hopefully you will never need to use it but it will give you a little more self confidence when your manager puts you down and you can use this to help dispell the anger and rage you feel which is going inwards into depression and self harm. People with OCD are generally extremely conscientious in the workplace and this type of behaviour from management is bullying and shows that your manager also has some personal unresolved issues. The fact that you feel you HAVE to go into work despite the fact that you are clearly unwell at present shows that you are a responsible conscientious employee.
I think you need to sort out your meds - an on/off situation is not very satisfactory and I can't see why you shouldn't call your therapist, you obviously need more support than you are getting at the present time.
As for self harming, I endorse what slog has said - please don't do it - hurting yourself is not the way out, it's a short term release for long term pain, use positive ways of reducing the stress in your life instead like exercise and pleasurable activities. This should help with the anger too.
OCD makes us emotional and fragile but you can learn to manage your emotions and to gain inner strength. It takes time but however tiny your achievements each one is a positive step forwards.
Hi TICs (ho ho, I am funny... not)-
depression (or major depression, MDD) is the most frequent comorbidity of OCD, it occurs apparently between about 20 and 30% of OCD patients. Which is far above what may be expected by accidence alone.
Moreover, I find it intriguing that depression in OCD is also more frequent than may statistically be expected on the grounds of the burden that any particular form of OCD puts upon one. This was calculated with extremely detailed procedures.
The upshot is that the two disorders are very intimately linked; it's not a case of the one following up on the other through one single reason. I am thinking of a sharing of more than 'just' one, two, or even three genetic foundations, more than one neurotransmitter problem, and also similar life events.
And I totally endorse Tess' wise practical advice. Problem is: people with OCD are very conscientious, and often also self-effacing, modest, and have a tendency to please others. Now this is all very well, but... they can 'attract' bullies, insults from the type of people that have a certain pleasure in humiliating others, esp. in the company of others. Could be that they got where they are in any group, not by real capacities, but by their bully-personalities. It is as if bullies 'smell' that people like those with OCD won't offer harsh resistance, because then they immediately start feeling very guilty (despite resilience is they good and natural right).
Hope this helps a bit, and thanks for writing in. Feel free to PM me, of course.
Bye, Cuthbert.
Thank you. I have been signed off work for one week and have been given some antipsychotics to calm me down and make me relax. I was in tears in front of my therapist and doctor, it was so embarrassing.
Be good to yourself, thinkingincodes... It is good that you have been signed off work, it'll give you a break, and a chance for your meds to start getting into your system... As Tess says, you have nothing to be embarrassed about... To be honest, I ended up on the floor of my doctors surgery, having collapsed with the stress of it all some time ago now... GP's will see all sorts of things from different patients, and it is their job to know how to help us...
wannabe
Hi Thinking
School was ok, still stressed, but I'm going back to Maudsley on Thursday, so I'm going to rant then. Had horrid spike earlier on too 
My doctor has put me on a weeks worth of Resperidone 0.5mg x2 a day. Thank you everyone. Although I'm still dreading going back into work!
Unregistered
Hi thinkingincodes,
I hope you know that you don't have to go back to work until you are fit and well. The most important thing is to look after your health, both physical and mental. If you reach the end of your sign-off period and are not well enough to return to work yet, then go back to your GP and tell them that your OCD is affecting your ability to carry out your normal activities, and that you need the GP to sign you off work for a longer period. (That is, if you are unable to return to work yet. Only you can be the judge of that.)
You GP can sign you off for a longer period; you can tell your GP how long to sign you off for. (2 weeks, 4 weeks, 8 weeks...only you know how long you need to be away from work.) If your OCD is interfering with your ability to do your job, then make sure you tell your GP that. Returning to work when you are ill is not a good idea -- in my own experience.
You might want to read some of the information packs on the OCD Action website, such as "OCD and Work -- Your Rights", and the information sheet for GP's about OCD, and "OCD and Accessing Treatment - Your Rights".
Did you know that OCD is classed as a disability under the Equality Act 2010? (Jude Wynne, the Advocacy Manager at OCD Action, discussed this at the OCD Action Conference last week.) Your employer is breaking the law if they discriminate against you because of your illness -- but the law only covers you if you disclose your illness to your employer.
For lots of infomation about work, OCD, and your rights, contact Jude Wynne and the Advocacy team at OCD Action.
Make sure you're being honest with your GP. If you're unwell because of your OCD, then tell your GP that you're unwell, and if you think you need more time off work, then tell your GP to sign you off for a longer period.
(And make sure -- by asking them -- that the GP has a good understanding of what OCD is, and what the appropriate treatments are.) You might want to print a copy of the NICE Guidelines off the OCD Action website (in "Resources"), and read it carefully.
I hope you start to feel better soon.
You GP can sign you off for a longer period; you can tell your GP how long to sign you off for. (2 weeks, 4 weeks, 8 weeks...only you know how long you need to be away from work.) If your OCD is interfering with your ability to do your job, then make sure you tell your GP that. Returning to work when you are ill is not a good idea -- in my own experience.I note that you have said this more than once on the forum. Whilst I agree that you should tell your doctor if your OCD is affecting your ability to work, you cannot tell your doctor to sign you off sick for a set period. You can ask them to but it is their decision based on clinical evidence and on the information that you give them. Going in demanding a set amount of time off is sure to put their backs up and we need them on our side.
Thank you.
Tonight hasn't been so good. I keep getting horrible thought in my head about self harming and It seems like my brain can't process anything logically.Like my Boyfriend will say he is too busy to see me, which he is sometimes as he is at University, and I will take it as he doesn't want to be with me anymore.
I'm really frustrated with myself and its all just getting worse.
Hi thinkingincodes... It is time to chill out and relax, you deserve to do this, give yourself some 'me' time, this stuff will pass, but it takes its' time does OCD... Do you like milky drinks? A warm milky drink, preferably low caffiene or caffiene free, butwarm and milky... And sleep too will help...
wannabe
Hi,
I hope you're feeling better soon. 
Thank you. Does anyone else doubt everything, mostly good things that people have said to them? My boyfriend can only see my once a week on the weekend as he is busy training to be a teacher, and I completely understand however my OCD ALWAYS turns it around making me think he doesn't love me, when he has said he does. Really fed up now. Any situation, it's always doubt doubt doubt and I don't want to push anyone away.
Hi thinkingincodes... Yes, I do too... I doubt lots of things and OCD knows just where to focus it's attention on our individual sensitivities... With me it's doubting If I've stood in anything in the street, or bumped against a litter bin, or car... Or whether I've got clean enough hands, clothes etc... Just two more days 'til the weekend...
Chat again tomorrow...
wannabe
hi thinkingingcodes - wannabe's right, OCD will attack our fears and cause mayhem...
Cuthbert...only 20 or 30%?, I thought it was more. Of course i am happy for the 70 or 80% who don't suffer depression, but every time these percentages are rolled out I seem to be amongst them. If this goes on I will end up being the only person with my particular type of OCD, hahah..boo hoo!
Unregistered
Hi Thinkingincodes,
Truddles makes a very good point in her post. It is very helpful to have a collaborative, friendly approach when speaking to your GP. She's right; if you do suggest any sick leave time periods (e.g. asking for a month off work), then it's best to do it in a very friendly, collaborative way.
I personally suggest a time period to my GP when I need to be off work, and we discuss my suggestion, and agree a time period that seems mutually agreeable to both of us. (I have found that if he suggests just a week or two, and I know I won't be able to cope that soon, then if I tell him this honestly, and ask for a longer period, he is usually happy to agree to a longer sign-off period.)
I never get angry with him or demand X number of weeks; I just explain to him in a friendly way what my situation is, and I've found this approach works better for me than just going along with his first suggestion.
Truddles is quite right; it's really important to keep the GP on your side!
Unregistered
Hi Jon,
yes, unfortunately OCD can play havoc with your health, your career, your studies, and your well-being.
For many years I just kept my problems hidden. It badly affected my performance when I was at university, killed off all my hopes and ambitions, and made it very hard for me to cope in any of the jobs I had after uni.
I didn't take any sick days for years and years; I just went to work every day, even though I was in a terrible state. I finally decided this year that enough was enough, and sought the help that I needed.
By not taking time off work in the past, I kept my job, but my health suffered enormously. This year I made the decision to disclose my disability to my employer -- after reading the information on the OCD Action website, and speaking about it with my therapist. It was a very difficult decision, but in order to protect myself from being fired, I decided to disclose my OCD to my employer.
The Equality Act 2010 has been worded to cover people like us from discrimination. That doesn't mean, of course, that employers are quick to stop discriminating against us -- but you need to make a personal decision about all the pros and cons of putting your health first or your job first.
All the best.
You must log in to post.
- Forum section
- New post in forum
- Topic post
- New post in topic
- Announcement, important
- Support Question
- Resolved Support Question
- Locked topic
- Hot topic
The OCD at School Project aims to provide support to young people with OCD in secondary schools in the Greater London area.
We rely solely on generous donations to ensure that we can keep our work going.
Support and information resources, find out more OCD related books, find external resources, and articles.
Helpline: 0845 390 6232 / 020 7253 2664
Helpline email: support@ocdaction.org.uk
Office: 020 7253 5272
Office email: office@ocdaction.org.uk
© 2008 - 2009 OCD Action, Registered charity No: 1035213.
Suite 506-507 Davina House, 137-149 Goswell Road, London EC1V 7ET.
Designed by Obscuresounds Ltd.
