Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Hi there
I am new to the message board, I think I have OCD, actually I am sure I have OCD. Since my son was born 5 years ago I have had sexually intrusive thoughts about abusing him and other children and they calmed down when I went to work but then when I had my daughter 2 years ago they came back and now they cover strangers, friends, family even the priest at work and there is no age range! They are vile and I was so upset, I rang a child abuse helpline as I thought it was to do with my childhood, I have since had several counselling sessions from this help group and their practitioner said I need to see a Dr as its probably OCD. Since going on the net and looking into all this I have the same symptoms as sufferers.
It is worse at night when the thoughts are about my partner abusing his own 3 children, our 1 child together and my child from a previous relationship. I wont go into detail of what the abuse entails as its distressing enough for me without you guys having to deal with it as I do have vivid images as well sometimes. I count sometimes and in my mind I have tested my fear but I cant go through with it.
I know they are just an irrational thought in my mind, all these thoughts are but it doesnt make it any easier for me to deal with, if you met me you wouldnt know I had it, but then surely that's what all OCD sufferers feel ? Being a catholic, I was worried it was the devil putting bad thoughts in my head, as paedophillia is my worst dread. I had an abusive childhood, violence wise, I have no idea if I was sexually abused, maybe hypnotherapy would sort that out.
Anyway I am glad I have found your website and can get some support at last. My drs appt is on Friday this week to refer me for MHT testing.
Sparkle xx
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