OCD Action

stus
Member

Hi all
Glad to have found this site, I have been suffering with OCD for 15yrs with this particular bout lasting 10yrs. I know alot about OCD, but no matter what i do i cant get better. Has anyone info on successful treatments etc. Feel like im goin insaneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mon Jul 12 2010 10:57:31 #
Unregistered

Hello Stus, Welcome to the forum.

Can you tell us a little about your particular OCD, then maybe others can offer advice and share their experiences.

Best wishes,
Tricia.

Mon Jul 12 2010 13:52:27 #
Wombat140
Member

Welcome to the forum Stus, I hope you like it.
Have you had the usual treatments, i.e. SSRIs and professional CBT? If so, there are other things you can try. I'll go into more detail if you explain the situation a bit more.
Best wishes,
Wombat140

Mon Jul 12 2010 19:45:35 #
stus
Member

Hi Wombat
Yes have (am) on 40mg seroxat was in patient at Springfield Hospital (tooting) Ocd clinic for 6 months, CBT ERP etc (mostly avoided as i know best) pfffff but so hard to say it is OCD as i feel it is all my fault.... thought about sex to much, guilt, then cant think about sex all time, gonna get married have children omg you thought about sex and children..... peadofile......... bang 12 yrs of worry and horrible images Feel it my fault though for thinkin about sex to much... does tht make sense as tht is my ocd from there

Thu Jul 15 2010 9:55:26 #
stus
Member

Hi Tricia

My ocd this time (12yrs 365 etc) is Peadofile (wow cant even spell it right considering it been flashin in my head so much.
I can work out why i had the thought (although that was my ritual to work out why which was so hard to do). Now it all got messed up got 1000000's triggers ,,, yours knakered and confused.
I find it so hard to call it ocd i feel it is my fault

Thu Jul 15 2010 9:58:37 #
Wombat140
Member

Ain't your fault. You don't want to have these thoughts or you wouldn't be here, so it can't be your fault. Having said that I know that's easier said than believed. Sorry I can't be of any more help, but I don't know much about that kind of OCD - never had it myself, thank God. Don't bother about trying to work out why you had the thought, if you can help it. It's not important, and it only encourages it if you go on thinking about it. Just forget about it as soon as you can.
Best of luck,
Wombat140

Sun Jul 18 2010 17:58:40 #
stus
Member

hi wombat
yer i know not to keep trying to work it out lol but wow it hard to do
i still in battle whether it ocd or is it me (not asking for reassurnace here) guess i am working it out now. ......... all i know is let me bloody get on with my life ocd.............................

Mon Jul 19 2010 9:06:25 #
swan
Member

Hi,
I had this form of ocd in the past for me realising that it was a form of ocd in this situation only put a stop to it. However i do remember the extreme fear i had not being able to sleep because of it, it would also cause me extreme anxiety. I would think about it all the time too. I often think their is nothing wrong with me, think that is common for people who have ocd.

Sun Jul 25 2010 7:10:14 #
resentment
Member

My husband has OCD and i believe he thinks that it is his fault also- he has always refused to get help for it and it is bringing our marriage down to its knees.

My husband thinks that he does not deserve anything good in his life for all the previous sins he's commited and for having indecent thoughts etc.

I think this is pure ignorance and PRIDE. It is not for him (or you) to decide what you deserve in life, not for him (or you) to judge your own life and decide the consequences. What gets me is that my husband believes in Christ- the ONLY merciful God (of all the religions in the world)- "Your sins are forgiven" obviously provoke nothing but emptiness in him. And that is because he CANNOT hear it. It's that immature thought process that Piaget described in children- "if i do not see it it doesn't exist"- if i can't be merciful to sinners then mercy towards those who sin does not exist". Maybe someone in your childhood or past made you feel unworthy of anything good in your life.

OCD is a psychological disorder. The devil might make you think otherwise.

I hope you hear me Stus

Sun Jul 25 2010 11:22:59 #
stus
Member

Hi Resentment

Yes a big part of it is male pride, we don't want to admit that we have mucked things up, gone wrong in life or had bad thoughts.
I think i can see past this and one of the biggest relief's is acceptance. Sayin to yourself "ok this is ocd im have intrusive thoughts due to ocd, it not me it my ocd". When i did do this it shifts the blame from oneself to the ocd and allows you to step out of the loop. If we had a broken leg im sure your husband would not put this down to Jesus and faith he would say i have a broken leg. He needs to do the same with his ocd. It very hard to do and indeed the devilish ocd will always fight with you, not letting you belief that it is his fault (ocd) this is when you have to keep fighting saying "yes it is ocd, your the reson for my intrusive thoughts, a brain short circuit" Keep this in mind and the devil will lose his grip over you

Im not religious but can see the parallels between (the person, good and pure) versus the demon OCD.
An alcoholic will not get better until they say "i am an alcoholic, i have a brain that likes to indulge to access" when they do that they are accepting and seeing it not their fault.

Thu Jul 29 2010 12:39:49 #
Unregistered

Dear Catherine, Remember that OCD is also a biological disorder, still far removed from the devil, I agree. Our thoughts can be so awful and appear so evil and twisted that anyone with a belief in the devil can easily be brainwashed into that way of thinking. I'm not sure that ignorance or pride are necessarily to blame.

I have a friend who has recently declared that even Jesus wouldn't want anything to do with her. She has angered a mutual friend (who is Catholic) but she hasn’t angered me. In fact, her statement reduced me to tears. This lady is just so depressed and utterly despondent, because of her OCD, she is at rock bottom and even believes that God has given up on her. It will take a great deal of support and help for her to view things differently. I think it’s impossible for a person who has not been subjected to intrusive thoughts to begin to imagine what damage they do to a person’s mind and self-esteem. They can literally be present constantly. For anyone with a religious belief, this can reinforce the conviction that he or she is either being punished by God or worse…

It may well not be up to us to decide what we deserve. Can you not, therefore, appreciate when we are being tormented by our thoughts, it is easy to believe this is what we DO deserve. This is the downside of religion for some of us with OCD, because no-one deserves this hell, but the obsessions can convince us otherwise.

Your husband does desperately need help. Did you read my other message? Could you persuade him to seek help from your church? Many priests and ministers have helped OCD sufferers (and were doing so long before there were psychiatrists!). I believe a psychologist could also help him, but I know he is refusing this.

Best wishes, Tricia.

Thu Jul 29 2010 13:59:10 #
Tess
Member

Hello Resentment
I don't post very much on the forum but I do look in most days and I am really upset by your post because it shows how little you understand about OCD and the terrible anguish it causes to the sufferer. Jesus told us not to judge others if we did not want to be judged by the same measure. OCD is a debilitating disorder, ranked by the WHO as one of the top ten most disabling conditions to affect humankind, it is not caused by ignorance or pride, it is based on anxiety and causes deep feelings of unworthiness, embarrassment, shame and guilt and is not an easy marriage partner.
Your husband needs to seek professional help. But, in my view, you also need to learn much more about OCD. Constant reassurance that his feelings are unfounded are unlikely to help him and could increase his level of guilt and aggravate his feelings of unworthiness. You cannot help people with OCD in the same way as you would someone with a physical disorder, as so much of the OCD is kept secret you could well be making matters far worse with the kindliest of intentions. I have had severe OCD for 42 years, my first husband tried desperately to help but just ended up aggravating my OCD and our marriage failed. I have now been remarried for 37 years, not without difficulties but we are soul mates and we have only managed to get to this stage with a huge amount of marriage guidance and mutual understanding. My husband does not criticise or 'walk over' my OCD, if he did our relationship would not be able to survive.
You have a hard task ahead of you but nothing worthwhile is achieved without effort and I wish you well.

Fri Jul 30 2010 9:41:18 #
stus
Member

HI Tess / Tricai

I to felt the Resentments post was very personal to me and felt it to be upsetting and insulting.

Fri Jul 30 2010 9:48:00 #
Tess
Member

Hi Stus
I was feeling a bit bad about my post as I felt maybe I had been unkind so thanks for posting, now I feel better. It is vey easy to get upset by things people post on the forum as the OCD makes us ultrasensitive and we take everything so personally. I go to a local support group and sometimes we throw a phrase into the middle, such as "I think you are very intelligent" and then go round and each person says how it makes them feel - and however nice the phrase nearly everyone seems to find a negative meaning directed personally to them, for instance "if they really thought I was intelligent they wouldn't have to say it, they are just trying to boost my confidence because they think I'm thick". Even though this is internet and not face to face we can open up our deepest fears here and then we can easily get hurt. But you are amongst many fellow sufferers who understand what you are going through.

Fri Jul 30 2010 10:09:55 #
Unregistered

Dear Tess and Stu, I think we all reacted to Catherine’s message in the same way.

I realized, after I had written my message, that Catherine’s user name is Resentment. I feel so very sorry for Catherine because of her attitude, but even more sorry for her husband.

Tess, you are absolutely right about a positive sentence being interpreted very differently by a group of people. A psychologist once replied to a letter I had written. He complimented me on my writing and I took this in the spirit it was intended. However, a friend could not have been angrier when she read the letter. ‘How patronizing!’ she declared ‘Why shouldn’t you write well, who does he think he is, pointing that out to you?!’

Catherine’s message is more difficult to view in a different light, however. In a previous message, she spoke of shame and I found this most distressing. Catherine stated “ I feel ashamed to let my family and friends into my life and our home for fear that my husband's shameful secret might be revealed, which would only make my husband feel worse.”

Catherine, I urge you to take Tess’ advice and find out more about this illness. No-one should feel ashamed of it or refer to it as a ‘shameful secret‘. Your husband should not feel the need to hide his illness.

Also, I feel it is very upsetting to imply that only God knows what we deserve. There is so much suffering, even amongst innocent babies and young children. None of whom deserves such pain. The reasons, for those of us who are religious, remain a mystery. However, although I am a Christian, I find some other religions’ theories make more sense over such matters.

I think the greatest message from any religion is love, compassion and tolerance.

Fri Jul 30 2010 12:18:48 #
Unregistered

Dear Catherine, I’ve been worried about you and your husband. I was reading Lee Baer’s book, last night, and I thought of you both. If you haven’t read ‘Imp of the Mind’ it might help both of you. It’s a book which focuses on intrusive thoughts of all kinds.

I have been thinking back to when I was convinced I required an exorcism. It wasn’t due to stubbornness, but constant torment. When thoughts disgust us and control our lives, it’s so easy to believe something awful has taken over. Please, try to empathize with your husband.

Best wishes, Tricia.

Sat Jul 31 2010 14:03:14 #
swan
Member

Im a Christian too and have found the thread on Christiannity really horrible, its what I get told by people who dont understand OCD. Their is also a form of OCD that relates to people's faith Sculopisity I think. I have this form of ocd and it makes maintaining a faith really hard.
Teresa

Sat Jul 31 2010 16:01:16 #