OCD Action

Debs123
Member

Hi

I am new to this forum and wondering whether any fellow 'checkers' can make me a feel a little less on my own!

I have had a look through some of these threads and noticed people say they have to check certain things before leaving the house etc but my whole day seems to be full of things that I have to check and I don't know anybody else that has OCD so feeling a little lonely!

I'm not sure when my OCD started as it seems to have crept up on me noticeably in the last year, it was only 2 months ago that I decided to see my GP about this and in fact that was more to do with my other little hobby, panic disorder!

It was only when I started to tell the CBT lady about my checking that I have realised how much of my day is taken up with checking and although I still manage to hold down a full time job, my checking is making me feel quite fed up and tired.

It starts with leaving the house in the morning, when I have to check all the windows, sockets, appliances etc. I also have to check what I am wearing to make sure I have not gone out in my pyjamas and continues throughout the day. On the way to work if I pass a cyclist (most days), I have to keep checking in my mirror to make sure I haven't knocked them over.

Then I get to work and have to keep checking every letter I write and every piece of work I do etc. Then I come home from work and have to check everything in the house again before I go to bed, spending a particularly large amount of time staring at my alarm clock to make sure it is set!

My checking makes my anxiety worse and this has a knock on effect on my panic disorder and I am beginning to feel a little overwhelmed by it all and not sure how CBT will stop all this.

I don't know anybody else that has OCD, I have told a couple of family members but they don't really talk to me about it and if I bring it up they don't really know what to say.

Can anybody reassure me that it's not just me and that things will get better? does CBT help as I am starting this properly next week??

Thanks for listening!

Mon Oct 24 2011 20:33:54 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Debs, welcome to the forums... I can most definitely assure you that it isn't just you, and that with a bit of luck it will get better with CBT. I've heard that It doesn't work for everyone, but seems to be very effective for most people... I'm guessing there though... I have an assessment for CBT next week and hope that it will help me too... Welcome to the forums....
wannabe

Mon Oct 24 2011 20:52:16 #
Ratwomble
Member

Hi debs

Welcome. I think all of us here check to one level or another. It is a very difficult thing to stop. Problem seems to be that the more you do it the more you need to. I too reached a point where my day was just one long panic attack, checking an drechecking everything. Glad to say I'm in recovery now and very happy.

David

Tue Oct 25 2011 9:47:42 #
Pepper
Member

Hi Debs, I read your post and it seemed like a day in my life, particularly the stuff about leaving the house and driving past cyclists. You're definately not alone and your taking a big step in starting the CBT, I hope it helps you, good luck.

Tue Oct 25 2011 10:17:22 #
Livia
Member

Hi Debs,
just wanted to add some more support to the comments already posted. My checking is a lot like the checking that you describe so if nothing else, know that you're definately not alone. OCD is very isolating and i think this is one of our biggest challenges. I can't honestly say that I've ever found that it gets better, but, personally, I could live with it if it weren't for the constant isolating effects, and stigmatising. I think you would be helped a lot by a support group, which is one of the things I intend trying myself.

Sun Oct 30 2011 2:36:49 #
Tess
Member

Hi Debs
Welcome to the forum. As everyone above has already told you, you are not alone, most OCD sufferers will have checking problems to a greater or lessor degree. The good news is that you have sought help and that you have only had noticeable OCD for a relatively short time which means your chances of substantial improvement are very high. Hopefully the CBT will enable you to get your checking under control and you will not have to consider other treatment options. I take a low dose of seroxat for contamination OCD and although it has only helped partly with the contamination it has virtually eliminated my checking. We are all different in the way we respond to treatment but with a busy life and a full time job to occupy your mind you should manage to get to grips with the checking by using the methods you learn in CBT.

Sun Oct 30 2011 10:15:41 #
wendybpool
Member

CBT didn't work for me but my OCD is centered on contamination and the therapist kept making me think of worst possible senarios which made me worse not better as I would leave his session with more senarios to panic about then when I turned up that week.

I would give CBT another go sometime next year but only if I was given a new/different therapist as I really didn't like the one that I had.

I wish you all the best and lots of luck with your sessions.

Sun Oct 30 2011 10:49:09 #
David
Member

Hi Debs123

I too am a checker along with other OCD behaviour - I have a similar checklist to you. It's very common among OCDers. This is a useful forum as I also find that friends and family and neighbours don't really understand the nature of the compulsions. Good luck with the CBT.

Sun Oct 30 2011 12:28:57 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone... I agree too that I am a checker of many things, but my OCD is contamination checking... Checking hands are clean, checking clothes haven't gone on the floor etc...
Wendy, you mentioned that CBT didn't work for you... As someone who is desperately hoping it will work, I'm wondering if the therapist was at fault here... It is all very well considering worst scenarios, but were they realistic ones? And if they didn't resolve the fears, then the therapist was perhaps only doing half their job... I'm really scared that mine might not work, but hopefully it will, cos I've tried everything else... I've recently upped my medication, and I still have to wait for that to start working...
This OCD is a right old so'n'so isn't it?
wannabe

Sun Oct 30 2011 15:35:30 #
Unregistered

Hi wannabefree,

I'm a new member on the forum, and I noticed your post from October.

Checking is extremely common among OCD sufferers. Like you, I check (or have checked) things constantly. The checking can be mental (e.g. trying to remember if you really locked the door), or it can be physical (e.g. ripping open the envelope you just prepared, to check that you did put the letter and all the documents inside before you sealed it.)

CBT is absolutely the right treatment for OCD, including checking. When CBT fails, it's usually because the patient did not fully commit to the CBT; or the therapist was not a very good therapist; or they said it was CBT, but they're not really a CBT therapist. There are good, bad, and average therapists. Ask your CBT therapist if he / she is experienced at dealing with OCD. The CBT course should be focused on one problem at a time. So a whole course of CBT should be focused on OCD only. (If you are doing CBT for panic disorder, say, then you should be given a separate course of CBT for the OCD, at the end of your course of CBT for the panic disorder.)

If you're not doing CBT specifically for the OCD yet, then read one of the mainstream OCD books, such as 'Break Free From OCD', or 'Overcoming Obsessive compulsive Disorder'.

And if your CBT does not appear to be going well, don't be afraid to ask your therapist tough questions, such as (1) how many OCD sufferers have you personally treated, using CBT?, and (2) how many of those OCD sufferers that you personally treated have had very good results from the course of CBT?

All the best,

OCD Londoner.

Thu Nov 3 2011 15:21:24 #
Soxon
Key Master

OCD Action has produced an excellent information sheet - CBT Checklist It's a guide to what good CBT should and shouldn't include.

Soxon

Thu Nov 3 2011 15:53:30 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi debs, welcome, Hi there OCDlondoner, welcome... Yes I too check things, though mainly by licking my fingers a lot to defy that they're not dangerous... I ended up licking a CD disc today to defy it having anything on it... No ill effects hours later, I was assured by several people that it was clean anyway, but I still had to check... This OCD has got me by the neck sometimes, and I too hope that proper CBT will be the solution... I give myself wholeheartedly to trying to do CBT as I understand it... I've got the Overcoming OCD book, I also have another by Paul R Munford, called 'Overcoming compulsive washing'. Has anyone else seen this particular book, and did you find it helpful?
wannabe

Thu Nov 3 2011 20:44:27 #
Debs123
Member

Hi

Just wanted to say thank you for your posts and information, it is reassuring to see that other people have the same problem.

I have considered going to a support group but am a little nervous about attending, has anybody else been to one?

I have started CBT now but I have to start with CBT for panic disorder and agoraphobia first. I know this makes sense but I feel like my checking is getting worse in the meantime as I am spending more and more time on it now and I just want to get started on trying to deal with it.

I notice that one post says CBT made them feel worse. I must admit that when my therapist gave an example that, towards the end of CBT she may suggest I leave the oven on for a couple of hours when I leave the house I was horrified, can't imagine ever being happy about that!

On another note, does anybody else suffer from agoraphobia, I wasn't sure whether this was common in OCD sufferers? It is not that serious that I am confined to the house but presents itself whenever I am some distance away from home and wondered whether anybody else has this problem?

Thanks again for your time and posts and hopefully the CBT will prove helpful

Fri Nov 4 2011 17:14:10 #
Tess
Member

Hi Debs
Just a quick reply about support groups. EVERYONE is nervous when they go for the first time. It can help if you arrange to meet the support group leader separately so that at least you will know someone when you get there. Or the leader might suggest meeting up beforehand with one of the members who has a similar problem to yours. We do this in our group if someone is nervous about coming.
It is also very usual for a new member to just sit and listen, you don't have to reveal anything about yourself or join in the discussions if you don't want to. Support groups are just that - supportive - everyone shares a common bond, it is like having a new OCD family and you will be accepted in and welcomed as one of the family.

Fri Nov 4 2011 18:00:35 #
Unregistered

Hi Debs123,

re: your post, some points:

(1) OCD Support Groups are fantastic. If you live in the London area, go to the one in Covent Garden -- it's really friendly and welcoming. (I'm sure the other ones around the country are also really good!)

(2) The whole point about the behavioural experiments in your CBT course is that you have to learn to carry on doing them UNTIL THE DISTRESS GOES RIGHT DOWN. It's not enough to just do the task. You have to experience the distress during the task -- and carry on doing it. Eventually (after doing the experiment once, or repeating the same experiment a hundred times), your distress will shrink and shrink to nothing, or at least to a very low level. This is the part where I think a lot of people fail. Doing the experiment is not enough; you have to keep doing it UNTIL THE DISTRESS ISN'T THERE ANY MORE.

(3) Yes, agoraphobia is just like OCD, so there's no surprise that you can experience both. All types of anxiety disorders boil down to the same thing: you experience a disturbing thought / feeling / impulse / image, and it causes you distress. You then avoid the things that bring on that distress, or carry out mental or physical rituals. So it doesn't matter if the distrubing thought / feeling is about being far from home, or being trapped in a small space, or it's a thought about stabbing someone...or that old favourite, "Have I zipped up my flies?" They are all different versions of the same thing: a disturbing (intrusive) thought, that causes anxiety.

(4) All of us have been at the stage where we think that the situation will get worse and worse, until we go mad / kill someone / catch a disease / other scary scenario. If you're still at that stage (i.e. about the cooker), then you still have lots of work to do -- through the CBT. Your work isn't done until you BELIEVE that nothing bad is going to happen, BECAUSE IT'S ONLY AN ANXIETY DISORDER.

Have an anxiety-free weekend, Debs123, and carry on with the CBT -- it's the only sure way to get rid of your anxiety!

OCD Londoner.

Fri Nov 4 2011 22:28:34 #