OCD Action

worriedmum
Member

Hi,
I realised my 14 year old daughter had OCD about 18months ago - although looking back this explains some perplexing aspects to her character throughout her childhood.
The symptoms have increased and eased over the past 18 months depending on overall anxiety levels, and are currently pretty bad - probably in response to the start of GCSE module tests.
It would seem that the OCD was triggered by several deaths in the family and of her much loved cat, in quick succession
Her OCD symptoms are very random - mainly touching and re touching - anything / anytime but it changes from one thing to another - eg she goes through periods of hanwashing then moves to chewing her mouth / sucking in air/ walking backwards and forwards retracing her steps. Her behaviour to anyone observing seems to become more and more bizarre - reaching under the kitchen table to touch the floor - as if touching the closest bit of floor wont do anymore, flicking her hands in the air, etc.
The consequences as you all know are heartbreaking to witness.
She struggles to fit in at school and is sidelined when there outings or gatherings of any sort, even her best friend (one of very few friends)has recently got fed up with the constant irritations - eg being made to wait at the door every day as my daughter struggles to assemble herself to leave for school. She struggles to write fluently without overwriting and to read because she struggles to maintain concentration.
We have tried to continue as normally as possible, to not allow the OCD to have any permanent affect on her life - ie she has just left for a Scout trip abroad - I'm very worried as to how she will cope and whether the other teenagers will exclude her
She has been seeing a councellor for about 14 months and its only now that she is deemed ready to embark on CBT. The first attempt a few weeks ago pretty much completely failed - she just found it too difficult to resist the compulsions - especially in school where she feels she needs to be able to concentrate and attempting CBT stops her concentrating on the lesson so she gives up. I have to say I find it incredibly difficult not to get frustrated and cross when I feels she gives up apparently easily.
In August she is going to have a couple of sessions to try to improve her confidence - the councellor thinks she lacks the confidence to believe she is able to give up OCD - followed by a concentrated set of 6 sessions during which she will be trying to use CBT to stop the OCD - during which time she will have more regular access to the councellor in the hope that she can keep my daughter "on track"
I guess I'm wondering if my daughters story is similar to anyone else's - and what the likely outcome is - I guess I'm hoping someone can give me hope that this will all go away!!! Like I've read others say - watching your child suffer this illness is truly soul destroying, and is wrecking our family life.
The list of fears for the future is endless
Thank you for reading this - having read some of the other posts I'm aware others have more overwhelming problems to cope with - I have to confess at the moment I'm finding their stories more frightening than supportive
I wish all of you affected better times to come!
Kind Regards

Tue Jul 26 2011 19:39:32 #
Truddles
Member

Hi worriedmum,

Welcome to the forum

Not got time to answer now as late getting ready for bed but didn't want you to go without any response to your post today.

Trudy

Tue Jul 26 2011 23:00:24 #
Unregistered

Hi worriedmum

I just wanted to let you know that I too had ocd as a teenager but that I am now getting better. I know that everyone is different but I feel that there is hope as there are some really good treatments out there. My compulsions did differ slightly and admittedly when I was a teenager my ocd did not affect my day to day life that badly but I too had massive confidence issues. Personally I found that my ocd got worse later in life also due to bereavement (and also pregnancy) but following cbt and, after a while, medication I am nearly better now.

Admittedly CBT is hard work because you have to resist the compulsions and tolerate the anxiety but it is so worth it in the end. My compulsions are regarding contamination fears but I guess cbt for all ocd types would be fundimentally the same.

I did cbt for a while and then ended up going onto medication because I wanted to get better quicker than I was progressing on cbt alone (as I now have a daughter) and my stress levels were so high that I could not put my cbt into action properly but after a while of being on medication I am now in the process of coming off of it.

Another thing that helped me greatly was reading 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' by David Veale and Rob Willson (which you can get from Amazon amongst other places). A therapist recommended it and it is a great overview of ocd and cbt and is easy to follow. There is a section on children with ocd and one for families/carers of those with ocd. It's a really good book to get hold of.

It must be really distressing to have child with ocd but I just want you to know that there is support out there and i'm sure reading books such as the one I mentioned will help you greatly.

Wed Jul 27 2011 9:34:44 #
Tess
Member

Hi worriedmum
I'm going to answer this as truthfully as I can and I hope my reply won't upset you. Obviously you are hoping for reassurance that this nightmare which has hit your family will go away of it's own accord - and it might do, but it may not and the probability is that it will take time before you see light at the end of the tunnel. I am very uncomfortable with what your daughter's counsellor has said about your daughter lacking the confidence to give up her OCD because to my mind these are the words of someone who doesn't understand what OCD is all about. Yes, self confidence and self esteem are very important tools in the battle which your daughter has had thrust apon her but it is not possible to 'give up' OCD because it is a malfunction in the brain.
It is very important that your daughter gets the right support and treatment at this stage in her life because she is young, the OCD has been discovered at an early stage and she has the best possible chance of making a good recovery.
I fully understand the stress and frustration which you are feeling and there is a carer's section on this website which will provide information and support. But to get cross and irritated with your daughter will only aggravate matters because your daughter will be well aware of the problems her behaviour is causing and extra stress will just make her OCD worse. She may appear to you to be giving up easily but appearances can be very deceptive when it comes to OCD, it is a very debilitating condition and the burden which sufferers have to carry is immense even though it is unseen and sadly it is a disorder which affects the entire family. I know because I have carried it for 43 years and nothing else I have had to face in life has come close to the effort of living with OCD.
Your daughter needs to know she is loved uncoditionally, trusted that she is doing her best and that she has a secure and stable home. This will give her a place of safety from which she can challenge the OCD and she needs praise for each achievement, however small, and encouragement without pressure.
I think it would help you to read up about OCD and this website is an excellent place to start. Treatments for OCD are improving all the time and the majority of sufferers can expect a good level of recovery.

Wed Jul 27 2011 10:00:01 #
Truddles
Member

Hi worriedmum,

An even better book for young people is:

Breaking Free from OCD: A CBT guide for young people and their families by Jo Derisley

It’s called a CBT Guide for Young People and Their Families and is aimed at younger people and their parents or carers. It’s well presented and is by no means boring and explains things simply but in depth and contains plenty of work sheets for the young person to work through. It explains CBT and how to do it – a lot better than some of the books for adults.

At the end of each chapter there is information for the parent or carer giving them advice on how to help the young person with OCD. This book might help you to understand what your daughter's going through and more importantly how you can work with her to help her to overcome this. It will also give you more of an idea of how CBT works.

You both need to read it and then work through it together. Any other members of the family need to be aware of what you've read in the section at the end of each chapter so that as a family you are all working together. OCD can have an impact on the whole family and not just the person with OCD.

Have you looked at the OCD Action OCD at School Project at http://school.ocdaction.org.uk/ on there is a forum where you can talk to other parents of children with OCD.

Wed Jul 27 2011 17:42:54 #
Ratwomble
Member

Hi worriedmum,

Welcome to the forum. Lots of practical advice and friendly voices.

I would advise seeking a medical diagnosis. It may not be OCD, only a gp or psychiatrist can decide. If it is, they can recommend medication and therapy.

I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

Best wishes

David

Wed Jul 27 2011 19:31:58 #
aishah
Member

Hi Worriedmum,

Sorry things are so bad at the moment. I was diagnosed at 35 (am currently 44) but had OCD since the age of about 10. I also had some behaviours similar to your daughters that I have outgrown a long time ago but still remember vividly.

For me, over the years I have suffered many different aspects of OCD but have been most troubled by intrusive thoughts and cleaning excessively and having everything in order around me.

Since starting treatment 8 years ago, things have improved and I have learnt to cope more with my condition. I have very bad times but I also have some better times. It is so important to have support when you have this condition and I'm glad that your daughter has some. Another plus is that she is being treated now and as Tess says treatment has improved greatly over recent years so she has a good chance of recovery.

I believe that if I had been diagnosed when my OCD started then it wouldn't be such a struggle today.

Hope this helps

Bridget

Wed Jul 27 2011 22:57:40 #
Unregistered

Bridget - I agree with you completely, I feel like if my ocd had been diagnosed when I was a teenager then it would never have got as bad as it did, I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my mid twenties. The 'OCD At School' scheme seems like a great idea to me, would be great if that could be all over the uk eventually.

Thu Jul 28 2011 9:46:51 #