OCD Action

TL
Member

I'm only 16 and I'm new to this support-group forum thing so I don't know what to expect to get from whoever reads this, I guess just a hearing, understanding ear from people like me.
I did a school project on OCD a few months ago and realized that it is what I have. I would try to get out of class every few minutes to check if my locker was locked or if anything was stolen, I would straighten something (like a poster on the wall) even if it was in the middle of a test, it didn't matter because it would stress me out so much if it was crooked. I was also having these wrong sexual thoughts and questioning my sexuality a lot and now when I found out it was OCD it wasn't my fault anymore and I was relieved.
Now I'm not so sure. I know I have OCD, but I'm too scared to tell anyone else. I've told one person, but not about my thoughts because I'm ashamed of the thoughts I have.
I'm still having all the thoughts, and having to do these rituals of checking and rechecking and fixing and whatever because I don't know how to stop. I try to ignore my thoughts but it only stresses me out more.
I guess what I want to know is, is this normal? Does anyone else have issues telling people about their thoughts even though they know its OCD? Is anyone else having trouble knowing where to start in stopping these rituals? I don't want to have to tell anyone about this OCD, not even my parents so I'm totally counting on you guys!

Wed Apr 14 2010 2:00:44 #
Truddles
Member

Hi TL,

Welcome to the forum

First: You're right it's not your fault and so never feel ashamed of your OCD, it's an illness just the same as any other. By admitting to yourself that you have a problem and by joining the forum you have taken the first and probably the most difficult step on the road to recovery. Well done.

Second: you really do need to seek professional help in order to help you to learn how to deal with the OCD. Speak to your family physician and ask them to refer you for treatment, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is usually the first line of treatment. Or perhaps you could speak to the school counsellor and ask them to refer you. Either way the sooner you seek treatment the sooner you can get on with enjoying your life. But if you still feel that you can't confide in anyone, use this forum to gain a better understanding of the OCD and to build up your confidence so that you can get help. Reading how other people are dealing with their OCD helps to give you a greater insight into your own OCD.

Remember you don't have to go through this alone we are all here to help and support each other.

Yes, at times it is embarrassing telling people about your OCD, but remember a professional that treats OCD will understand and wont judge you. With regards to not telling your parents, it would be nice for you to have them on board but I can fully appreciate why you haven't at this point in time. But as you come to understand and control your OCD it will become easier to tell them, especially if you can proudly say that you're doing something positive about it.

There's no doubt that starting to take control of your OCD really boosts your confidence. OCD gradually chips away at your confidence and self esteem if it's left untreated. It's not easy stopping the rituals without help, but it can be done with help and patience.

The Teen forum is often quiet as many of our younger forum members prefer to join in on the OCD forum which is a much larger forum with more participating members and so there is more chance of an early response.

We look forward to hearing from you on the forum.

Best wishes

Trudy

Wed Apr 14 2010 8:04:31 #
TL
Member

Thank you so much, Trudy. I was really afraid to do this but I'm glad I did. Reading some of these stories is helping me understand more about my OCD and what I can do to combat it.

Wed Apr 14 2010 14:41:17 #
joanne
Member

There is plenty of help and talking is gr8 x Ive had this since i was 14, which is 22 yrs and 2day my husband took the day off to force me 2 sit on the sofa all day.....no hoover, no cloths no cleaning at all, and i dnt feel too bad lol theres always 2mora with the ritual thing. I actually had a day off, its a miracle.

Tell your parents, support is everything xxx

Wed Apr 14 2010 18:38:08 #
TL
Member

Thanks for your reply Joanne. I can't even imagine my day without any rituals. It makes me nervous just to think about it. I want to be able to do it, but it makes me scared. That probably sounds ridiculous but it's just what I feel.

Wed Apr 14 2010 19:09:34 #
Unregistered

Hi TL and Joanne,
TL it doesn't sound ridiculous at all to me that you might feel scared about not being able to carry out rituals. I've been carrying out the same rituals everyday for 20 years, although with help I now spend less time doing them so it makes life easier. I develpoed OCD as a teenager and didn't know thats what it was so didn't get any help till I was at breaking point. I don't think I would have been brave enough to tell anyone then so think its great that you are able to talk about it when you're just starting to understand it.
Best wishes
Jo
PS thankyou Joanne for changing your name

Wed Apr 14 2010 19:25:17 #
TL
Member

Spending less time on my rituals sounds great. Sometimes it gets so bad that I'm late for class or even miss class sometimes because I get halfway there and need to go back to check my locker to see if it's locked. When I check it, I have to open it and lock it again 5 times. I don't know why, it just doesn't feel right otherwise. I know it's strange and some of my friends are starting to notice a problem but I feel like I can't help it. I feel so guilty about it all and I don't know why.

Wed Apr 14 2010 19:31:24 #
Unregistered

From what I've read and experienced myself guilt seems to be a common thing people with OCD experience a lot of. I'm not sure why. I agree with Trudy's advice about seeking some advice from someone professional once you feel comfortable to. I felt really anxious the first time I did but it was a relief to have someone to talk to and to start controlling the OCD rather than it controlling me.

Wed Apr 14 2010 19:55:13 #
TL
Member

I want to get help but for now I'm so ashamed of the things I think of. Some of it is really terrible and I know it's not my fault but it's still wrong.

Wed Apr 14 2010 19:59:51 #
Unregistered

People on these forums seem very kind and supportive so like Trudy said maybe time chatting and reading about other peoples experiences of OCD might give you confidence and more understanding of OCD. I had never chatted to anyone with OCD till yesterday, only ever seen other people with it on documentaries. I always felt a bit like an alien, like I was different from everyone else I knew. Now, having read about other peoples experiences I already feel more human.
Hope you find solace too

Wed Apr 14 2010 20:16:25 #
Truddles
Member

Hi TL,

You could always start by talking to people about your rituals this will help to increase your confidence and eventually you'll be able to talk about your thoughts.

If you use the 'forum topic search' facility on the right of this page (it's like using google, you will see that there are other people on the forum with the same sort of OCD thoughts that you have. You can always PM them if you prefer to.

Please do keep posting.

Wed Apr 14 2010 22:56:34 #
TL
Member

thanks for the suggestion.

Wed Apr 14 2010 23:00:58 #