OCD Action

Carboy
Member

Hi all,

My name is andy. My OCD started about 3 years ago when I worked at a well respected company with very high standards and no margin for error. My OCD basically relates to constantly having to check documents to make sure there are no mistakes what so ever - ranging from people's names to figures and stats. When returning to my final year at UNI this got even worse. It was only in the last year I realised checking had gt out of control and was severly compromising my performance and taking up more and more time. I saw my doctor who put me on anti depressants and I had around 8 sessions with a psychologist. My OCD is not as bad as it was a few years ago but it's still there and makes me so miserablE sometimes. Today I had a real bad compulsion to check stuff and have a ritual which innvolves crss checking different documents. my OCD only really kicks in Where a job or education (or anything formal is innvolved) - as you can see from the spelling in this post it doesn't affect me everywhere. Another ritual is if I can get sOmebody else to do something or take part ownership of a PowerPoint or spreadsheet- this reduces my compulsion to check a fair bit.

So enough about me, I really look forward to hearing from people and hope I can get on a road to recovery.

Thanks,

Andy
here I'm looking for some support and advice and to see if anybody suffers in a similar manne

Tue Mar 16 2010 22:45:19 #
Unregistered

Welcome. Can't offer too much advice as it's late but didn't want to leave your post unanswered. Hope you enjoy the forum.

Tue Mar 16 2010 23:39:28 #
Unregistered

Andy,

Interesting, well all I can offer to that is that my OCD gets much worse at work - not so much with my studies. Have you ever considered you may have obsessive compulsive personality disorder? if it only affects your "formal" life. OCPD has more to do with perfectionism and performing to the best of your abilities. I know with my OCD the compulsion/obsessions are really irrational and have nothing to do with real life worries. Just a thought! enjoy the site.

Tue Mar 16 2010 23:59:23 #
Rena32
Member

Hi Carboy, you are not alone, I do the exact same thing at work. I always worry that I will make a mistake adding numbers, mispell a name, or leave out important information on a document, I spend so much time checking it over and over, and it is so stressful, I do try to get others involved if working on something important, because it gives me reassurance, that I did it right and did not make a mistake. Whenever I do a powerpoint presentation, I will watch it over and over to see if there is a mistake, then I will have someone else look over it as well. Very distressing, I feel your pain and understand how you feel. I have been a little better with this compulsion lately, but some days are harder than others. OCD causes us to have no faith in ourselves. It keeps telling us "WHAT IF"? this and "WHAT IF THAT". I hope that you can overcome this, although it will take some time. I find that it helps me if I check a document once and then write a little note saying I checked the document and it was ok, that way, when the compulsion strikes me to check again, I have the note to reassure myself that it is ok.

Wed Mar 17 2010 2:46:41 #
freddy
Member

Hi Carboy,

Welcome to the forum, I hope you find it helpful.

I know how you feel and it is awful to feel so stressed. Over the last 7-8 months my OCD has been more work related. A few examples that I suffer from are:
I always have to check on the computer that sheets I have written out have the correct name and number on them, so I enter the number from the sheet I have written and check the name that comes up on the computer matches whats on the sheet. (even then I still feel the urge to check the sheets) People tell me I make more work for myself but I have to check, why can't I just trust myself that I did it right? I also get stressed about passing messages on and whether I have provided the right amount of information or not, or if I got it right in the first place.

Rena32 - I agree with you 100% regarding OCD not giving us faith in ourselves. I can't stand that 'what if?' this and 'What if that?' feeling. My worry is that something will happen because of me.

I hope we can all overcome our problems.

With best regards,

Freddy

Wed Mar 17 2010 16:40:06 #
freddy
Member

Wed Mar 17 2010 16:40:06 #
Carboy
Member

Thanks for your responses everybody, it's good to know I'm not alone. I've just this minute had to split up with my gf as I have been takin it out on her so much - she says sometimes it's like I'm not even there when talking to her sometimes. She knows about my OCD and she has had it herself whEn she is much younger. I'm now afraid OCD is goin to ruin my life, I want to overcome it but I just don't know how.

This personality disorder can somebody explain a bit more about this?

I'm getting so low about this I sometimes wish I could just turn my brain off

Wed Mar 17 2010 21:57:47 #
Carboy
Member

Anybody??

Thu Mar 18 2010 16:13:13 #
poppyfields
Member

Hi Andy have you tried searching on the internet for personality disorder? I'm not certain of it myself but i know my daughter has just had it mentioned when visiting her CMHT and so i want to look into it myself too. Let me know what you find out.............take care.

Sun Mar 28 2010 18:00:40 #
Daisy Vine
Member

Hello Carboy

I too suffer with the need to check my work, especially formal documents, even down to the cheques I write, or the envelopes I send - on bad days I photocopy them unfortunately.

I used to have a job that required 100% accuracy, as your job seems to - the last thing I needed with OCD (that I kept secret from my employers), was to have unimportant typos pointed out to me. I became even more paranoid about accuracy and would stay late into the evening after the office had become quite so that I could concentrate on accuracy. I think work pressures such as this, and those that you seem to be experiencing, will undoubtedly have an impact on your happiness out of work, perhaps hence troubles with your girlfriend.

I don't know about you, but my stomach would churn terribly with the pressure at work over accuracy, I would experience mini-panic attacks where my heart beat increased rapidly, and eventually it caused such high blood pressure that I would have a nose bleed at my desk :oops:.

I so understand what Freddy mentioned about the "what if" because I would imagine the worse case scenario and fixate on it, such as 'what if I disclose information that is supposed to be confidential' or I would visualise a mistake I missed being spotted by senior management and them complaining about me etc.

You mention "you wish you could turn your brain off" and although I eventually left my job for a slower lifestyle, I still wish the OCD part of my brain would slow down. Medication has helped with this for my circumstances, but unfortunately a glass of wine works quicker and more effectively at relaxing my racing/panic stricken thought processes - obviously not the best or healthiest solution though, and cannot be used during work hours really. However, I'd suggest it would help to find a way, that suits you, to distract your mind out of work hours (they can be long enough) and leave accuracy worries at the doorstep of your employer.

Hope it helps, Daisy

Sun Mar 28 2010 22:51:49 #
Carboy
Member

Many thanks for your response - it's Interesting to learn about people with a similar conditin to me. I find that sometimes my OCD gets worse when I will be out of the office for a few days (even if it's the weekend) or bank holiday - really frustrating. There must be a way round OCD becuase a life with it in does not seem attractive at all.

I've stopped myself checking things more than once but it's the anxiety associated with "what if" that I can't control - it's driving me mad

Sun Apr 4 2010 9:08:40 #