OCD Action

1. 

   Truddles
   Member

   The police came and asked you to kindly remove your helicopter as the hill isn't a designated landing pad. They let you off with a caution and with a red face and head hung low you climbed into your helicopter. You flew off to the nearest airfield as you like to be a law abiding citizen and didn't want to cause further trouble.

   In the meantime the police were on the lookout for the person that had stolen my keys to the chair lift and who had then changed the lock. I didn't like to tell them who it was but they had an idea as you'd dropped your mobile phone when you were picked up and flown off the hill by Nimrod. (and I bet Nimrod charged you for use of the helicopter ) They are also looking for the person (no names mentioned) who flew off with the chair

   I got permission from the council to change the use of the chair to that of an amenity. I've had to pay to replace the actual chair and now if you use my chair to climb the hill you have to pay to use it. The money can go to a deserving cause - OCD Action.

   Who's taken the kettle? Could they please return it as I'm thirsty

   MY HILL FOR CERTAIN !

   Sun Aug 21 2011 14:04:08 #
2. 

   Nimrod
   Key Master

   Dear Truddles,

   I am very happy to give you a new kettle as I have a spare one that has never been used. I flew it in in my helicopter which I landed on the private helipad on my hill that has been registered with the local authority and fire service and I have full permission for. So while you were off to the shops to get some good quality tea I reclaimed the hill as rightfully mine.

   So it's My Hill

   Sun Aug 21 2011 19:20:14 #
3. 

   Truddles
   Member

   Whilst I was in the shop selecting some good quality tea and something for my evening meal I heard on the radio in the shop that there was a major emergency and all helicopters were being asked to join in with the rescue. Being public spirited you felt unable to ignore the call to action and so raced to your helicopter and took to the sky.
   I seized this opportunity and hobbled to the chair lift and made my way up the hill. The camp fire was still alight and the water was boiling and so I settled down with a nice cup of tea to watch some tele on my little TV. On came the news and they reported that one of the radio stations had staged a hoax calling all helicopters to join in a major emergency rescue. What shame that you were so eager to join in
   Never mind it got you off my hill without me needing to do anything.
   

   MY HILL FOR CERTAIN !

   Sun Aug 21 2011 19:43:40 #
4. 

   Nimrod
   Key Master

   While you were watching your little tele and enjoying a cup of tea the camp fire got out of control and burnt down your chair lift. Fortunately I was just returning from the hoax call in my helicopter when I recieved a real call from the fire brigade to assist in a rescue of someone trapped on a hill. Of course I obliged and was quite surprised to see it was you I had rescued - but not as surprised as you were to see me! Luckily for you I still had a full paramedic crew on board that I picked up to deal with the "hoax" call and they were able to give you a full and lengthy check up. You did not object as they were all very hunky chunky young men!

   Other than a warped desire to think that you owned the hill they could find nothing wrong with you but to be on the safe side they decided you should go to hospital. However, because all of the hospitals here were still on alert for the hoax call I had no alternative but to fly you to a superb, posh luxury private hospital in France - and there I left you with no passport and no money to get back to the UK with (not to mention paying the bill).

   So with that I made my way back to the UK and the hill at full speed to find that the fire brigade had put out the fire and removed all of the burnt out debris and left the hill in a nice tidy state.

   At last I could enjoy My Hill.

   Mon Sep 5 2011 20:41:16 #
5. 

   Truddles
   Member

   While you were watching your little tele and enjoying a cup of tea the camp fire got out of control and burnt down your chair lift.

   Yes, that sounds like the sort of disaster that I'm prone to

   I had no alternative but to fly you to a superb, posh luxury private hospital in France - and there I left you with no passport and no money to get back to the UK with (not to mention paying the bill).

   Doesn't worry me will give me a well deserved break in the sun, plus no worries about the bill as gave them your name and credit card details. (I lifted your wallet on the journey there and made a note of the card details )
   Thanks for the freebie holiday As it's cold here you can keep the hill until I'm repatriated

   BTW I hope that you're not watching my TV unless you've got a licence

   Mon Sep 5 2011 21:54:45 #
6. 

   Nimrod
   Key Master

   I reported to the police that my wallet was missing and the French police being very efficient promptly questioned you and you admitted you had lifted my wallet. This of course meant that after doing a stretch in a French jail that you would be deported from France back to the UK.

   Unfortunately under the deportation arrangements you were sent back to the address in the UK that you have given as your residence, and that was the hill, my hill, so that is where you were sent to. However, while you were in the French jail you had nothing to eat except slimey snails and jumping frogs legs all served with masses of garlick. The vile pong from you garlicky breath soon spread as far as the public health offices where, because of the offensiveness of the pong, the officials designated you as a health hazard. This gave them no option but to evict you from my hill and lock you up in a secure pong proof underground bunker to protect the public and the environment from your garlicky breath.

   Fortunately as soon as you were removed a strong wind blew away all traces of the garlick pong and that allowed me to go back to my hill.

   Tue Sep 27 2011 21:08:16 #
7. 

   Truddles
   Member

   HELP

   I am being held against my will in some sort of underground bunker, I think that it must be an old fallout shelter. I've no idea where it is and have had no contact with anyone since yesterday. I am being fed, although the food leaves a lot to be desired, but they put my meals in a hatch so I don't have any contact.
   The bed's hard and lumpy, the loo doesn't flush properly and there's nothing to occupy me. I'm bored and I'm lonely

   Don't know if you'll get this message as I've scratched it onto the back of the metal plate that my meal was served on. Hopefully some kind soul will take pity on my plight and pass it on

   Wed Sep 28 2011 17:27:49 #
8. 

   Nimrod
   Key Master

   I'm sorry that you are suffering Truddles, but it's your own fault for trying to take my hill. However, I am willing to forgive you and drop all charges against you and invite you and every one on the forum to a PARTY on my hill.

   Lets' make this the biggest and bestest and noisiest party ever so that we can all forget about this OCD nonsense and just enjoy ourselves.

   Anything goes. Bring some food and drink, dress up how you like in any fancy dress - there is only one rule - ENJOY YOURSELF.

   It's open house on MY HILL

   Look forward to seeing you all.

   Nimrod

   Sun Oct 2 2011 20:20:01 #
9. 

   chloe
   Member

   Count me in. I've been wondering how to gain access to the hill, now I have the perfect opportunity in the form of an invitation. I'll bring the wine. Looking forward to meeting you all, (just thought, while you are all busy enjoying yourselves I might be able to sneak off and find out whats so special about what could become my hill!)

   Tue Oct 4 2011 9:40:57 #
10. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    Well chloe, Nimrod and myself have had a great time on the hill and have managed between us to polish off all the food and drink and it's taken us most of the week to recover
    The other two were suffering from the effects of eating too much and so both had to go down the hill to the pharmacy to get something for their dyspepsia, leaving me to tidy up the mess.
    Now they're off the hill I can tidy my little hole and settle back down to rest as I reclaim the hill.
    So once again I'm pleased to be able to announce that

    It's my hill !
    Is anyone going to actually let Truddles out of the bunker?

    Sun Oct 9 2011 18:39:39 #
11. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    Now that the party is over, after going to the pharmacy Soxon went to let Truddles out of the bunker but Truddles was happy there and did not want to come out. I think she was sulking as she missed the party.

    It took me a while to clean up after the party but I managed with no help (so what's new?) Soxon never came back to squat in the little hole (maybe Soxon was taken ill and admitted to hospital - or even worse) so I was left in peace on My Hill

    Nimrod - Lord of Nimrod Hill

    Tue Nov 29 2011 21:10:32 #
12. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    Lord of Nimrod Hill - well I've heard it all now

    Well there wasn't much to clear up as I had done most of it whilst you and Chloe were at the pharmacy getting something to relieve your dyspepsia.

    I'm not in hospital ill or as you so delicately put it - or worse. I am still on the hill, hiding in my hole as I extended it and there's now a secret door to an inner chamber. I did that earlier in the year so that it would be warmer should it snow again and also to protect it from flooding. So I fooled you all

    You didn't realise that I was in my hole and when I jumped out of it, it frightened the life out of you. Off down the hill you ran shouting that the hill was haunted.

    Yes, it's haunted by me So once again I'm pleased to be able to announce that

    It's my hill !

    Wed Nov 30 2011 23:50:23 #
13. 

    chloe
    Member

    Well, while Lord Nimrod was busy screaming like a banshee running down the hill, and Soxon was settling down for the night, with one of his smug grins etched accross his face, I had secretly hired a hot air balloon which glided silently towards the hill.
    I had also phoned the local TV station informing them af this ghostly apparation seen floating down the hill [sounds better than running!]

    They assembled at the bottom complete with lights and cameras ready to capture on film this strange creature [that sounds better and more interesting, I had slightly exagerated the appearance of Lord Nimrod!!] on film for all the world to see.

    I then very carefully floated the balloon to just above Soxons head.
    He was so busy grooming his big busy tail, he failed to notice me.

    Just as Lord Nimrod came into view of the camera crew, I fired up the balloon, which let out an enormous roar, at that moment Lord Nimrod [actually I think we can dispence of the Lord bit!] ran straight into the camera crew, who buddled him into their van so they could examine their ghostly figure. I think they were probably disappointed when they saw their spookey find was not what they had in mind!!!

    Thu Dec 1 2011 13:12:19 #
14. 

    chloe
    Member

    So sorry I pressed the wrong key!!!! I havn't finished yet!!

    As i was saying.....

    at that precise moment Soxon was taken completely unawares by the roar of the balloon, that he was so startled that he jumped 10ft in the air and landed straight in the basket.
    As he did I jumped out and landed on the hill!

    Soxon drifted away in the wind, never to be seen again.

    Nimrod was left trying to convince the film crew that he was not a ghost.

    Which left me totally in charge of

    MY HILL!!!!

    yipeeeee!!! JOB DONE!!!!!!!!

    Thu Dec 1 2011 13:20:54 #
15. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    Thank goodness I had my smart phone with me

    Well I'm off on my travels courtesy of Chloe

    I must admit that at first I panicked and sat forlornly in the bottom of the basket. Then I realised that the seats weren't actually seats but hampers full of wonderful things to eat and drink. So I'm quite happy floating around in the balloon (I can't land or get out as I've not got my passport with me).
    The view is fantastic. I'd recommend it for sight seeing, you can see everything without having to mingle with the tourists. There are strong winds blowing and so I've now reached the Netherlands with all it's windmills. There's a strong smell of cheese drifting up to the basket and it's making me hungry so if you'll excuse me I'm going to delve into one of the hampers to get something to eat - again
    I'll be back - just don't know when as I'm having too much fun, so thanks

    Thu Dec 1 2011 21:27:28 #
16. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    My, this was a well stocked balloon There was a duvet and some warm clothing in one of the hampers so I'm quite happy to keep going, especially as there's enough fuel to keep the burners going for some time and loads of gourmet food to eat
    I'm flying over Germany at the moment and it's beautiful with brightly coloured lights everywhere and snow on the mountains.
    This chicken is delicious
    

    Thanks for sending me on the trip, saved me paying for a holiday

    Fri Dec 2 2011 18:25:18 #
17. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    HELP
    The strong winds that are sweeping across northern and central Europe have sent the balloon racing towards the Arctic circle

    I'm really cold - even the warm clothing and duvet that I found in one of the hampers isn't enough to keep me warm and I'm running out of food

    Please, please scramble the RAF, I need them to come and rescue me I would ring them myself but don't know the number and can't find it - I think they must be ex directory The coastguards just laughed when I rang them

    Fri Dec 9 2011 1:01:41 #
18. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    I called the RAF but they said that they didn't have any suitable aircraft because the government had scrapped the most suitable ones (the Nimrods - and that is a very sore point, but they can't scrap me YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) and Prince William, the hobby pilot, was away on holiday again, so they couldn't send anyone to help. However, they did put me in touch with the Royal Australian Air Force who happened to be over here on a training exercise and they agreed to come out and rescue you.

    They successfully rescued you and took you all the way back to Australia with them where they left you in the outback looking for a hill of your own. This kind deed by the RAAF left you far away from here and left me free to enjoy MY HILL.

    Fri Dec 9 2011 9:00:31 #
19. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    And you think that's distressed me? Far from it

    I've escaped from the depths of the British winter and the hurricane force winds that have been sweeping the country recently. Might stay here for a while to escape the extortionate fuel bills.

    Some locals took pity on me and have invited me to stay as their guest. I'm being treated like royalty by them as they are impressed with my fine pedigree and are ensuring that my every need and wish are granted.

    This is turning into one long freebie holiday

    Must dash as got to get ready for the barbecue that they are holding in my honour later today - I'm going to dress to impress

    MY AUSTRALIA - I'm claiming a whole country/continent as mine

    Sat Dec 10 2011 21:53:46 #
20. 

    Tess
    Member

    Oh poor Soxon
    You didn't realise that you are being treated like royalty and fed the finest food to make your fur shine and that your pedigree is regarded as impressive because the best foxes will have the highest price on their tails when the hunt begins - and that you are the barbeque! When they send you off on an errand as they will do shortly run for your life and find your way back and claim your rights to the hill from that imposter Lord Nimrod.

    Sun Dec 11 2011 10:28:48 #
21. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    Many thanks Tess, I feel so foolish it didn't occur to me that I was the dish of the day on the barbecue menu
    They've sent me to get some herbs for the barbecue, so I'm going to make my way to the British Embassy and ask them to repatriate me. Only problem is I don't have any identification on me so how do I convince them that I'm British I could show them that I'm a frequent visitor to My Hill but if that's not enough I might need some character references. Anyone willing to help me with that Or am I doomed to wander Australia for the rest of my life trying to evade capture?

    Sun Dec 11 2011 11:08:09 #
22. 

    Tess
    Member

    Soxon, don't worry about wandering around trying to evade capture, if they can't find you in two hours the slap up dinner plus wine and brandy which will be awaiting will be too great a temptation and the teatime barbecue was only a light snack to end the day and to help soak up the afternoon sherry. A little smoked dingo will be quite adequate. Then they will all gallop back to their ranches for their whisky followed by evening dinner accompanied by fine Australian wine and finished off with a vintage port. By this time all thoughts of an escaped fox will be out of their minds until the next meet. You are safe and well fed - for now!

    Sun Dec 11 2011 11:34:12 #
23. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    Austraila has very strict quarantine regulations to stop unwanted animals and pests and diseases getting into the country so the locals have reported the stray fox to the authorities who are mounting a very intensive search for it. No doubt they will find it soon but I do hope they don't repatriate the pesky creature back here.

    Nimrod,
    Lord of Nimrod Hill

    Sun Dec 11 2011 11:52:42 #
24. 

    chloe
    Member

    Excuse me for just a minute, but havn't you forgotten about little old me!! You seemed to have developed amnesia. The hill is MINE!
    So Nimrod, Lord of Nimrod Hill I don't remember letting you back up the hill and actually I've renamed it Countess Chloes Hill!

    Regarding that troublesome fox, I do believe he has signs of mange on his tail, so I think he will be in quarantine for a very long time.

    Just for your information I have surrouned MY HILL with an electric fence to keep all of you away!!!!!

    Mon Dec 12 2011 16:20:04 #
25. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    I thought there was an intruder on my hill and now I know it was Chloe who must have stayed over from the party. I had been too busy clearing up the mess that pesky fox left to do anything about it but now the clear-up is completed I was able to set a trap for the intruder.

    Chloe appeared to still be in party mood and was looking for some more wine and was following a trail of wine bottles. When she saw a full unopened one she stepped forward to grab it but stepped straight onto the trap I had left. The trap was in a hole left by that pesky fox and made from a spare hot air ballon basket. As soon as Chloe stepped onto the trap and fell into the basket that was inside the hole, the basket sprang shut. With Chloe, the intruder safely locked inside the basket I called the International Air Freight Service and they came straight away, took the basket complete with Chloe locked inside and air freighted it to Australia. Luckily for Chloe there was some food in the basket that the fox had been keeping and now that she had a bottle of wine as well she enjoyed the trip.

    So, at last I can enjoy the peace of MY HILL.

    Nimrod, Lord of Nimrod Hill

    Tue Dec 13 2011 9:57:56 #
26. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    Luckily the air freight company were efficient and so Chloe arrived in next to no time and I was there at the airport to take delivery of the basket.

    We've had a wonderful time out here in the warm sun and spent most of the day sunning ourselves on the beach whilst we were waiting for a lift home.

    I'd managed to speak to someone in the RAAF, and made it clear to them that their behaviour was a disgrace and that they had broken quarantine regulations by flying me into the country and that if they didn't return the both of us to Britain I would inform the relevant authorities and they would all be up on charges. Realising that they had broken the law they conceded and agreed to take us both home on the next available flight. Even though it wasn't a civil airliner I insisted that they treat us both as first class passengers.
    So it was champagne, and excellent food all the way home.

    So my friends we've finally arrived home. Who turned the heat off? It's freezing cold here Still we're both warm as we insisted that they give us each one of their warm flying jackets. They even provided us with a limousine to take us to the hill.

    Nimrod was puzzled by the limousine arriving at the bottom of the hill and came down to investigate, this gave me the chance to reclaim the hill.

    So once again I'm pleased to be able to announce that
    

    It's my hill !

    Sat Dec 17 2011 17:43:11 #
27. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    In preparation for the Christmas party that I will be holding soon (invitations are going out very soon) I have got in a firm of specialist cleaners and contractors ready to prepare My Hill for the best Christmas party ever. They were quite shocked to find that there were a couple of intruders on the hill so without any fuss or ceremony they bundled them both off My Hill and well out of the way so that preparations for the party could continue.

    So,once again it is beyond question My Hill. Watch out on the forum for your invitation to the best Christmas party ever at Nimrod Castle on My Hill.

    Lord Nimrod, Lord of Nimrod Hill

    Sat Dec 17 2011 20:14:22 #
28. 

    Soxon
    Key Master

    The Hill is once again the venue for the Forum Christmas Party and so for the time being it can't be claimed by anyone.

    To join in the fun at the party go to the following thread Christmas Cracker

    Once the party is over it will once again be up for grabs, when of course it will be mine

    Soxon

    Tue Dec 20 2011 23:01:33 #
29. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    Now just you hang on a minute my foxy friend. Everybody is invited as my guest to the Christmas party at Nimrod Castle on Nimrod Hill - My Hill. Of course I realise that many of you would like to take the hill and claim it as your own but I must warn you that none of your tricks will work. However if you do want to have my hill you could always instruct the local estate agents to make an offer to buy it.

    I must go now as I am waiting for the free drinks fountain to be delivered.

    Come on over to the party everyone.

    Lord Nimrod

    Wed Dec 21 2011 9:42:02 #
30. 

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    Now that the party is over and everyone has gone home and I have finally finished the clearing up I can at last enjoy the peace of My Hill.

    Sat Jan 7 2012 23:26:50 #

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Today I went to the plant nursery and had a good rummage looking for plants for my containers and didn't feel the need to clean my hands until I got into the car. I've even topped up the pots with new compost and planted everything and then swept up.
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Thursday (10th May) I handed in my last assignment of a 3 year degree course, meaning I've completed a degree despite being affected badly by OCD for two-thirds of my time there. For the first time in months I feel as if I have achieved something :).
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