OCD Action

aishah
Member

Hi everyone,

Im suffering depression again, felt really bad last week on and off, then eased a little and now getting worse.

The real problem for me at the moment is the muddle my head is in. All of my thoughts are mixed up, anxious, depressed and intrusive thoughts at once. Ive had this problem for years now, but it's getting worse. I am now having more bad days than good ones and I'm starting to feel I'm losing my grip again.

I feel really empty a lot of the time and I find it so hard to keep up with conversations with friends etc when i'm like this. I have had to give up college courses and other things because of this. Also my memory is becoming so bad I'm really scared.

Do others suffer like this all of the time. I even get confused when I'm doing 'normal stuff' at home and don't seem to be able to do much at all these days.
This is so debilitating and can't face spending the rest of my years in this mental state. Does anyone think that medication could be making it worse, although I have tried being without Medication and couldn't cope at all.

Thanks
Bridget

Tue Aug 17 2010 18:55:05 #
aishah
Member

I also forgot to mention that I had facial tics as a child and have had excessive blinking problems for years now but it used to be only bad when extremely anxious. Now the problem is with me all the time, and it feels like I've been punched between the eyes and that something heavy is pushing down on my head.

Tue Aug 17 2010 19:14:20 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi there Bridget -

my thoughts are very much with you. I went through more or less the same states back in 2003. Then I was prescribed Seroxat (= Paroxetine), an antidepressant that increases the level of freely available serotonine (a neurotransmitter) in your brain.

Now, this is important: the first 6 weeks are not representative of what such types of medication will do in the long run. Some people react positively after 3 weeks already, but others experience unexpected side effects (e.g. unrest, or even a slight increase in depressed feelings).

I did not go through this. After 4 weeks or so, my obsessions and compulsions became significantly less serious, as did my depressed states.

If you should decide to try antidepressants, you should IMHO do that in a safe environment, if possible surrounded by people who are close to you; or else: ask a clinical expert to have contact with you on a daily basis.

It might be helpful to use a mild sedative in the first two weeks, to get some deep sleep and reduce anxiety. But I'd say not to do that for longer than a fortnight, because sedatives are addictive - and form an additional problem. Two weeks, however, are safe.

After the initial period, the antidepressant itself will considerably reduce your anxiety. I can assure you that.

But, of course: it's all up to you. You yourself govern your body and mind.

I hope that this does not sound all too 'overbearing'; I just typed in what I know and what I went through myself.

Cheers, Cuthbert, and: hang on in there!

Wed Aug 18 2010 8:23:51 #
aishah
Member

Hi Cuthbert,

Thanks for your reply, much appreciated. I already take medication, am taking 30mg of Escitalopram. I've been on medication for 8 yrs now with a short time a few years ago that I came off it, I didn't manage at all so have been on it since.

I've had this problem for years now, part of my OCD, but was wondering if medication could be making it worse. I am going to contact my psychiatrist today for advice.

By the way I'm so pleased your back on track again, we did miss you here on the forum.

Take care
Bridget

Wed Aug 18 2010 9:56:05 #
Unregistered

Dear Bridget, I am experiencing similar to you. At least I can blame mine on the menopause.

I was going to suggest seeing your psychiatrist. I’m glad you are doing that, I hope he/she can help.

Tricia x

Wed Aug 18 2010 13:32:08 #
aishah
Member

HI Tricia and Cuthbert,

Thanks for your replies.

Bridget

And tricia, sorry your going through this, it is distressing isn't it?

Thu Aug 19 2010 17:49:03 #