OCD Action

TangoGirl
Member

Hi everyone,

I have a good friend who suffers from BDD, and he is really gorgeous, but won't believe it. He wants me to believe that I am attractive, and I say I will believe him if he believes me.
Is there anything I can do/say to help him on his journey to get better from this?

TG x

Tue May 31 2011 15:22:40 #
Tess
Member

Hi TG
Don't have BDD myself but there is a lady in our support group who has it and the more you tell her she is attractive (which she is) the more difficult it becomes for her to believe it, in fact it just puts stress onto her. So I'm not sure if trying to bargain with your gorgeous male friend will help, in fact I fear it may do the opposite. My advice is just to treat him as you would someone without BDD and just be there for him if he wants to talk.

Tue May 31 2011 17:53:52 #
TangoGirl
Member

Hi Tess,
Thank you for your reply.
Ok. I will try to do that. The problem is that because he feels so bad when he does feel down, he doesn't think I want to talk to him when he's like that as he doesn't think he is worth it, when actually I do, so when he is going through a bad time, he doesn't contact anyone and just suffers alone, even though I am more than happy to be there for him.
TG x

Tue May 31 2011 21:20:40 #
Tess
Member

Hi TG
Sorry to say this is another feature of BDD. The lady in our group refuses meds because she doesn't think she's worth it - and however much you try to convince her she has worth she just goes further into her shell. So we just accept how she is and don't put pressure on and I think she feels she has a little supportive family who accept her for who she is. Sounds to me as if you really like this guy so when he goes into his quiet spells just let him know you are there for him, but you may have to just wait quietly until he feels better and understand that his withdrawal is not personal, it's just something which is part and parcel of the condition.

Wed Jun 1 2011 8:39:06 #
TangoGirl
Member

Hi Tess,
Ok. I will try my best. I have let him know that I will be there for him, so we shall see what happens.
Thanks,
TG x

Wed Jun 1 2011 20:49:35 #