OCD Action

arnie1
Member

Hello everyone
My first time on the board so i apologise if im writing incoherently
Im in a jam at the moment ive had ocd for years but never what it was called ocd, i just thought i had weird thoughts because i always have anxiety but recently i discovered the reason for this is ocd. Since being at uni ive been on my own, and in that time the thoughts have got worser (in frequency and in what is being said), this is driving me crazy

I have been at home since may graduating from uni and i cant find a job, my confidence is at an all time low, and as a result the thoughts are increasing
I cant pray or move past a religious picture or ornament without some sort of blasphemous or horrid thought about people i love entering my head, i have to retrace my moves forward and back till it feels right, and praying at night which should take 5 mins takes 40, i really dont no what to do. My faith is important to me and this is the only thing which is keeping me sane

At the moment i dont no what thought in my head is mine or from ocd
I have bought a book on ocd by david veale and rob willson 'overcome obsessive compulsive disorder" but it does not seem to help

can anyone suggest some help!

thank you for reading

Sun Sep 13 2009 23:51:08 #
Moocher
Member

I had OCD for decades before I realised what it was through a magazine article.
It's such a difficult to understand illness. I often think to myself, how can something that is such a load of nonsense feel so real? Like I have to do what it's telling me for my own protection.
I always think that OCD has a very distinct feeling to it. I don't know what gives it that distinctive feeling, maybe the attachment of anxiety to a certain feeling or thought.
I never find books on OCD helpful either, to tell you the truth. It makes you wonder if the authors really understand the condition themselves. It always just seems to me that you have to find your own way of dealing with it. I once emailed David Veale about getting some help and he is a very nice guy, took the time to answer and everything. He's a bit expensive though at Â£250 just for the assessment.
When people ask for help I really don't know what to recommend. I personally don't really believe that therapists offer much help (not from the way that people who've been treated by them describe their progress) and medication can have drawbacks and isn't always effective. But I do think that different things work for different people. Do you have any inkling of what you think could help you?
Please don't despair as I'm sure that you will find some hope.

Mon Sep 14 2009 1:46:06 #
Nimrod
Key Master

Hi Arnie,

Welcome to the forum - I hope you find it useful and helpful.

You don't say if you have been diagnosed by a medical person and if so if you are having any treatment. There is a lot that can be done to help so if you have not already seen your doctor make an appointment as soon as you can. It may help to look at the NICE Guideline on OCD at http://www.nice.org.uk/cg031 This gives a lot of information about OCD and how it can be treated. Some people find it useful to print relevant pages and take them when they see their doctor. Books can sometimes help but are perhaps best read after you have been formally diagnosed, and anyway as we are all different in so many ways what suits one may not suit another.

Bets wishes,
Caps

Mon Sep 14 2009 9:42:14 #
Hobbit
Member

Hey Arnie1,
Sorry you are not doing so good at the moment. I was diagnosed ith OCD 2 years ago but believe i had episodes before that but they were not as bad. I have read a lot of books about OCD and they do help me but i understand that they are not the answer for everyone. What i have found though is that OCD gets worse when you are tired, stressed etc so i think the pressure of job hunting and leaving uni which means readjusting to a different way of life will probaly make things worse. I almost expect my OCD to flare up a little when i am tired and stressed and that actually helps to reduce the anxiety. I took medication for two years and saw a counsellor for a few months when i was really bad. I know medication is not always ideal it really helped me - it did not make my OCD disapear but it reduced my anxiety to a level that allowed me to practice techniques for addressing my distressing thoughts.
I really hope you feel better soon - keep using this site it was a lifeline for me when i was really bad.
Take care
Hobbit

Mon Sep 14 2009 13:53:13 #
arnie1
Member

thank you for your really helpful words

Moocher in relation to your question i do not no what cud help me, the thing is anything triggers the ocd for example the tv, news , bad news, happy moods etc

Hobbit i am always stressed and tired about everything and every little thing so it is true that this makes the ocd worse

when i realised that i had ocd i tried and have been fairly sucessful in getting rid of the little things such as always washing my hands and face checking windows, doors etc
But it seems to me that the mental voices in my head ocd has gone worser, i try to alter my mind but it aint helping, the things are usually religion based
A question that would be helpful is if i have therapy is it through the nhs or private because it sounds really expensive!
I will stay positive and thank you for taking time to read my story and offer opinions

God Bless

Tue Sep 15 2009 0:00:01 #
Unregistered

Arnie, You will be entitled to therapy on the NHS, I believe the only advantage of private is the speed. In my experience, NHS is as good as private, and in many cases better.

Tricia x

Tue Sep 15 2009 14:52:38 #
Unregistered

P.S. I have always found change, good or bad, plays havoc with my OCD.

Tue Sep 15 2009 14:54:01 #
arnie1
Member

thanks tricia for your words

any mood will start the ocd, however the busier i am and if im with friends then it kinda stops, when im on my own and thats all the time it starts
the thing is during the day my friends have jobs and that means all day im at home it makes it really depressing, i try to get out but there is not much i can do till i get a job, God willing that is soon!

Wed Sep 16 2009 20:54:17 #
Unregistered

Arnie, Being occupied is good as you have realized. Being overly stretched and put under pressure is bad, so we have to find a happy medium. I know you haven't got a job at the moment, but could you cope with some voluntary work? Also, exercise seems to be very good for OCD.

Good luck with the job hunting. Try not to feel too despondent if one doesn't come your way quickly, weâre not in the best of times, are we. My daughter graduated last year and became very depressed when she wrote dozens of letters and never even reached the interview stage. She has work now, she just had to be patient, and persistent!

Tricia x

Thu Sep 17 2009 14:35:40 #
arnie1
Member

Thank you tricia for your words
I have had a busier week, had an interview and another on monday! so God willing things will hopefully improve
The busier you are the less time you have to think and have the chance for things to enter your head

While not 100% better i have had a good week for the first time in a couple of months!

God Bless

Sat Sep 26 2009 0:02:02 #
Unregistered

That's very good news, Arnie! Good luck for Monday. Do keep in touch.

Tricia x

Sat Sep 26 2009 12:40:32 #
arnie1
Member

Hey everyone its been a couple of weeks
Ive tried to keep busy and by and large the ocd is subsiding but it is still there and causing me sadness
Im from the west midlands and there is a ocd meeting in birmingham next week, i was wondering if i should go

Has anyone been to something similar, what were your experiences?

Thank You

Wed Oct 7 2009 22:38:54 #
Unregistered

I haven't, Arnie, but I know people who find such meetings very helpful. I would certainly try to go and see what you think.
Tricia x

Fri Oct 9 2009 14:35:49 #
arnie1
Member

Thanks tricia i may take your advice i feel a bit apprehensive about it cos i would not want to open up in a room of people i dont no
maybe im perceving things wrong
5 and a half months without a job is driving me crazy as the ocd i am trying to get out and do stuff but everything i see and hear is getting to me my face, demenour is awful and when i look in the mirror i dont like what i see
I hope for a good day tommrow

Arnie

Sun Oct 11 2009 22:20:36 #
Unregistered

Arnie, I'm trying to think of a single person I know (with OCD) who is happy with how they look, and I can't think of one. I avoid mirrors, it's the easiest way. I do believe the fact that so many with OCD feel the same, must mean that we have low self esteem and are not the best judges of our appearance. We can't all look that bad!

No-one will expect you to open up on your first session. You will probably find others do most of the talking. You won't have to speak unless you are comfortable doing so, and remember, virtually everyone there will have been very nervous the first time, possibly some still are.

Let us know how you got on.

Tricia x

Mon Oct 12 2009 14:05:36 #
arnie1
Member

hi everyone did not go i found something "else" to do going to motivate myself to go next time
starting cbt now and just discovering that engaging with a thought does the damage
going to really try hard now to get rid of this

Sun Nov 1 2009 1:11:01 #
swan
Member

Hi,
I have religious OCD not called that but can never spell it!!!!! ( re you having to pray ect) Im also a christian and always feel I should go to church ect.
I agree with the others about added stress at present when you have just finished uni and are looking for a job also in todays climate that makes things difficult.
I used to work full time but reduced just by a day a week, I have to get balance between keeping busy and not overdoing I also need to have struture.
I have read the book by david Veale found some of it helpful, but bits in it like people with religious OCD need ing to have weegee ( very bad spelling!!!!!) NOT. I have had OCD since my teens and dignosed Aug 2006 initially it was a relief and I would read anything I could get my hands on planned encouragement out side the sessions which like for some others wasn't forthcoming. Their is a total lack of understanding about the condition but this baord is really helpful so I would stay in contact, sometimes I reply sometimes I just read the threads and other times I will write my own depending on whats happening to me.
Take care

Sun Nov 1 2009 13:10:58 #
Wombat140
Member

I have read the book by david Veale found some of it helpful, but bits in it like people with religious OCD need ing to have weegee ( very bad spelling!!!!!) NOT.

To explain for those of you who weren't here last time this came up. This refers to David Veale's suggestion that people who have OCD about demons or the Devil should do exposure exercises with a Ouija board. Of course this assumes that you couldn't really contact a demon with a Ouija board. David Veale may be sure about this, but not all his patients will be! As MrsApple put it, from this point of view it is "like asking someone with a fear of snakes to go mess with a rattlesnake!" Sadly some psychologists/psychiatrists who are atheists tend to regard ALL religion as irrational behaviour to be treated. You just have to ignore them.
Wombat140

Sun Nov 1 2009 18:06:23 #
arnie1
Member

the book is structred a bit poorly and some of the religious stuff does not apply 2 days into the cbt its has helped

Swan could i ask u if your ocd is the same or worser since 2006 and how have you found cbt?
thanks for taking time out to read and look at my post

Sun Nov 1 2009 22:12:01 #