Hi guys, sorry to feel compelled to write again but I'm really struggling at the moment.
I live in a student house, unlike most students I don't sleep well. It means that while I'm up at 7, anyone not in lectures or out is rarely seen before midday. This gives me a lot of time alone to ruminate and become very, very scared.
I'm currently either going through a major setback or a relapse. I worry constantly about having unintentionally done something wrong in the past, causing enough harm to someone that they end up like me, crying in bed too scared to get up or open the windows, unlock the door or go outside.
Does anyone please have any tips on how to combat the spikes in the morning. Very rarely in the last four months I've been able to resist the spikes in the morning and have a relatively "normal" day (with the help of 40mg fluoxetine). The morning doubts fuel the rest of the day, like filling a car with petrol. The problem is I keep filling the tank to overflowing.
I wouldn't hurt a fly now, I can't even say jokingly harsh things anymore let alone hurt people. I jump at the doorbell or car alarms or sirens and get horrendously anxious about reading the news, which has developed into another compulsion (along with possession checking, lock checking, gas checking, bag checking, work checking etc.). I can't not read the news, but it does me terrible harm each time.
Please help me,
A terrified and shaky Slog