OCD Action

sandy
Member

Hi everyone im new on here and finding it hard to start this off.
Reading some of the posts i think i can relate to some but not others.

I have recently been diagniosed with OCD but am on a waiting list to be seen by a CBT counsellor. They said it could be 18 weeks and i dont think i can cope without some suppport and understanding of all this.
I am still trying to get my head around what has been going on for me.
For as far back as i can remember i have suffered with this and very high anxiety to. It started to get worse when i went back to living on my own.
Things had to be done in a certain order on that day and if i didnt follow that ruitual then the day would go wrong or something was going to happen dont know what though.
Now it has reached the point where my partner is suffering and i hate myself for it.
I am planning what cleaning im doing the next day and again if i dont get it in the order i normally do it in anxiety hits the roof, the pulpatations hit the roof as though my heart is going to come through my chest.
My mood goes from one extent of being really happy and then really low. Also my anger or snappyness comes from nowhere and its uncontrollable and i cry so much but dont know why i am.
Even my dog is obsessive because of me.
I just have to get things done and its full speed ahead and nothings gonna get in my way.
You know wrighting this down seems really wierd. It doesn't seem as bad as some of your posts on here.
Thank you to anyone that reads this, and would be gratefull for any feed back.
Thank you

Wed Jul 8 2009 23:20:57 #
sandy
Member

sitting here i misssed so much out in that post, The thoughts that go on your head that is where the damage is for me.

Wed Jul 8 2009 23:34:36 #
brennie
Member

Sandy, i can relate to everything you have said, i am exactly the same myself .

P.S. WELCOME TO THE FORUM

Love Brennie x

Wed Jul 8 2009 23:36:17 #
Dantheman
Member

It would be helpful for you to research OCD as much as you can. I was advised to 'Become an expert in your own illness' and I believe that is particularly good advice when the illness is connected wth our thinking more than with our bodies. Yes its also due to a chemical inbalance in the brain but this can be altered believe it or not by altering the way we perceive our world.
So would recommend that you purchase 'Overcoming OCD by David Veale' from Amazon.co.uk might be on play.com but definitely was on amazon as that is where I bought it from and I found it quite enlightening although the worst had passed for me by the time I bought this book.
It would be good background reading while you wait to see a therapist.
D an

Fri Jul 10 2009 9:13:29 #
Unregistered

Welcome to the forum, Sandy.

I think many of us feel as you do, when writing about our obsessions and how this illness affects us. You say that your problems don't seem as bad as some of the posts on here. However, it sounds as though you are suffering terribly and it doesn't make any difference what is causing the level of panic and despair that you are experiencing.

My symptoms are a little different, but I understand the panic, the affect on a partner and even a dog. My poor dogs also changed their behaviour because of me. The pain and the guilt are indescribable.

I hope that you are helped by the CBT. In the meantime, do talk about anything here you want to. If something is causing you distress then it's very important to be able to talk about it, and writing things down really can help.

Tricia x

Fri Jul 10 2009 13:45:34 #
sandy
Member

Thank you for your replies its meant lot and will take on board what you have all said.

My ocd really took over today and i nearly lost my relationship because of how i am. Is there support for love ones and family on how to deal with this.

thank you to you all
sandyx

Mon Jul 13 2009 22:58:21 #
Nimrod
Key Master

Hi Sandy,

Sorry things are bad at present. You could try posting in the Support for carers and Friends forum. Also have a look at the Support Groups (on the front page of the website), there may be one near you and they do have other sufferers/carers who understand what you are going through. Or ring OCD Actiuon on 0845 390 6232 / 020 7253 2664.

Best wishes,
Caps

Tue Jul 14 2009 10:17:44 #
lioness
Member

Hi Sandy,

Welcome to the forum. Sorry you are having a tough time with OCD at the moment, I hope you can find some comfort and support from reading and posting in the forum, there are lots of others in the same boat as you. I can relate totally to your situation because I used to be the same with cleaning a few years ago but I have managed to overcome most of that. I do have other types of OCD now, but I guess thats just the way it goes. I also relate to the frustration and snappy moods you were saying about. At my worst times I used to be quite aggressive towards people verbally because I felt so frustrated at my situation and feelings.
I really hope the CBT helps you, but in the mean time keep posting on here and try and learn about OCD. I have bought various books on amazon which whilst not being anyway near a cure, have helped me to put things in some kind of perspective, and have comforted me a bit when things have been grim. Take care.

Tue Jul 14 2009 11:43:09 #
frazzledmom
Member

Hi sandy

I'm new to the posting thing but anyways I now exactly how you are feeling as well the frustration and anxiety that can come from the cleaning thing I also need to have things symetrical, if something is moved out of place even an inch depending on the day it can throw me into a rage and it has to be fixed. I found sometimes it helps to pull myself out of the situation leave the room or the house and occupy myself with something else, it can be extremely difficult to do but it gives time to calm down. You know time outs are not just for kids, sometimes they are good for grown ups to, especially if someone we love is in the war path of our anger.

Fri Jul 17 2009 22:59:25 #
sandy
Member

Hi everyone,
Thanks again for posts. I am trying to find a way not to flip out at the moment. Its funny you can have a few days where you keep on top of it and suddenly bang it hits you again, the slightest thing can start it off again and then its so bad that your on that merry go round and you cant get off. Believe it or not i am a support worker that also deals every day with people like myself but i cant turn my support onto myself which is frustrating.
I have had a lovely weekend with my partner but its back to work tonight so i know its going get bad in the next few days as it normally does.
Im already planning what i am doing tomorrow and in what order it must be done.
Will be able to order some books that have been recomended to me on here (thank you) soon so that will be helpfull.
Thanks everyone its been a great help joining this forum.

Sandy

Sun Jul 19 2009 20:15:03 #