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Missed opportunities...getting control of thoughts and rituals

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    Unregistered

    Hi Guys

    As I was lying in bed last night unable to sleep, as per usual, I had this thought. How many opportunities did I miss in the past to get those pesky thoughts and rituals under control.

    I remember hundreds of times when the strong me (Dr Anne) told me: 'Don't look at that drain' or 'don't go back and check that the lid is on.' But the weak me (sad glad) in a very small voice said 'Well one check will be ok,'and I listened to the wrong me. As I knew full well, the minute I checked it, my self belief would collapse as one check was/is simply never enough. And, of course, I kept on checking again. This happened in the bathroom when a very tiny voice from sad glad whispers 'Have you put your head down the toilet.' It also happened/still happens at the sink when it mutters 'did you put enough soap on your hands... perhaps you had better wash your hands once again.' And of course I kept on checking or washing because I decided to avoid Dr Anne's voice - the voice who actually knew the truth.

    It struck me that, maybe harnessing the strong voice when the opportunity comes up, is an answer, if not the definitive answer. Well it's worth a try isn't it?

    What do you think?

    Anne

    Wed Dec 30 2009 9:21:25 #
  2. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Glad,

    I agree with you OCD is such a time waster and generally unproductive.
    It was only the other day that I stopped and thought 'Without having to waste so much time on the OCD, just think of all the things that you could achieve.'

    It robs us of so much of our lives and prevents us from actually being able to get on and live. If you don't have time to do things for yourself then you're not living you're existing. There are simple little things that I want to do but can't because of the OCD. I want me back

    It's only that bully OCD that derives any pleasure from our life.

    Sorry having a bit of a bad day today.

    Truddles

    Wed Dec 30 2009 14:15:56 #
  3. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi all

    Sad glad got the better of me last night. I had spent the day multi-tasking (a bad thing for OCD sufferers) and I lost my grip on the thoughts. Sad glad persuaded me to look down to check my shoes and I checked three or four times. As a result I did not enjoy my evening meal.

    Dr Anne sat down after the meal and decided it was not too late to put things right. She put on her 'magic' Hobbs raincoat and went outside in the cold and wind and climbed on over and back the offending drain several times. She then went to bed without showering.

    This morning Dr Anne is still ruling the roost.
    As my dear father used to tell me: 'If at first you don't succeeed, try, try, try again.' (Robert the Bruce and the spider.)
    Have a great new year
    Annex

    Thu Dec 31 2009 10:06:59 #
  4. Avatar Image

    aishah
    Member

    Hi Anne, sorry things were hard for you yesterday. I am so pleased that the OCD bully didnt win in the end! Well done for facing your fear and going out to the drain and then onto bed without showering. I hope you had a peaceful nights sleep.

    Regards
    Bridget

    Thu Dec 31 2009 11:46:05 #
  5. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Dear Bridget

    I did indeed - in fact I overslept and was late for my hair appointment. But I did some drainwalking when I was down town so that my New Year's Eve will be better than it was last Year.

    I do hope that you will get better very soon and that your fighting spirit will take over. It is so tiring when the ocd voice keeps on hounding you... I know it full well. I do hope the really strong Bridget will come through soon. Best wishes for a peaceful and happy new year.
    Regards
    Anne

    Thu Dec 31 2009 14:35:23 #
  6. Avatar Image

    DEAD!
    Blocked

    It's like Theory A - .... is true and Theory B - I worry .....
    So A is People are trying to kill me - B is I worry people are trying to kill me.

    You always have to try it as B
    I do a lot of cognitive therapy with my doctor.

    Nicola

    Thu Dec 31 2009 17:26:10 #
  7. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    That's right Nicola

    Liten to the right voice - theory B or as I call it Dr Anne. The more you listen to (accept) theory B, the less therory A makes sense.

    Best
    Anne

    Thu Dec 31 2009 17:42:45 #
  8. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi folks

    Happy New Year to you all.

    Just to say that Dr Anne was victorious yesterday. I did a recce of the drains after my hairdresser's appointment. Instead of avoiding them, as I did in the past, I walked on every one I would have to negotiate during my walk from the hotel (my dinner dance) to the bridge where the firweorks were.

    Last year, sad glad spoilt the countdown because she was meandering all over the road, like Jack Nicholson in 'As Good as it Gets'. This year Dr Anne, in her new purple Hobbs winter coat, reserved particulary for the occasion, walked on every drain she came across.

    I enjoyed the count down, hugged a few strangers and loudly sang Auld Lang Syne. It just shows that it really is worth it to take advantage of those opportunitites when the strong voice is in the ascendant.

    Thanks for sharing my journey
    Anne

    Fri Jan 1 2010 11:19:27 #
  9. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi

    I think that Anne's idea is brilliant it must make it easier to tell OCD to get lost when you give it a name - OCD is such a mouthful.

    So I must seriously have a think about giving the non OCD me and the OCD me names - yes I know that it will tax my brain to the limit

    Though mustn't obsess about it

    Truddles

    Sat Jan 2 2010 14:16:37 #
  10. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Glad to hear you've been coping well, 'Dr Anne', and that you had a good New Year's Eve! I will take on your advice and try to listen to the strong version of me, rather than my anxieties. I might call it Happy Helz or something, and the OCD me could be... Horrid Helz? Hmm, I'll have to think about it, hehe.

    Sat Jan 2 2010 18:26:54 #
  11. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Thanks Helz.

    I am glad you had time off from your studies. When I did my various degrees (over the last 12 years) I missed out on all the partying because of my advanced years. But I had a good rapport with the young students who made me feel one of them - and half my age.

    I think you should concentrate on Happy Helz and ignore Horrid Helz as much as possible. This will help to make the rest of your time at Uni more rewarding and enjoyable.

    Keep on posting
    Best
    Dr Annex

    Sun Jan 3 2010 10:52:37 #
  12. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Wow, you've done more than one degree?! One's tough enough for me as it is! And you're never too old to party!

    I will definitely try. With the New Year I'm already feeling a bit more positive, and I have made it one of my resolutions to really focus on getting past my anxieties.

    Sun Jan 3 2010 14:50:03 #
  13. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi
    Yes I did stay on at uni and almost became an eternal student as I loved it so much more than work. I also found that studying and researching kept my OCD at bay. I especially loved researching newspapers on the Uni's electronic resources. I probably had the relapses because I was bored when I finished.

    I am really pleased you are feeling more positive. Keep on posting when you get back to Uni if you have time won't you.
    Annex

    Sun Jan 3 2010 17:40:04 #
  14. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Yes, I'll try to keep posting so everyone knows I'm ok.

    Sun Jan 3 2010 18:33:45 #
  15. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi all

    sad glad is still chipping in at night telling me I have gone outside without knowing it. I ignore her. But she is interrupting my sleep and giving me nightmares. Any ideas?

    Best
    Glad

    Mon Jan 4 2010 11:02:37 #
  16. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi Glad, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope I haven't made things worse for you by talking about nightmares so much yesterday. I'm not sure what you could do to combat this, other than give Sad Glad a good talking to before bed, telling her that you will not let her ruin your sleep. Try thinking about nice things as well, like those knights we said about perhaps, and focus on them as you are falling asleep, as that could make you more likely to have good dreams. Sorry for not being much help other than that.

    Mon Jan 4 2010 16:55:11 #
  17. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Thanks Helz

    I will defintely give it a try tonight. It is usually to do with to much multi tasking before bed.

    It is definitely nothing to do with your posting. I have had nightmares since I was a child. It used to focus on Giant spiders attacking me which were still there for a few seconds after I woke up. I used to have to turn all my bedclothes upside down before I was convinced they were not there. Now it is all about tunnels toilets and getting lost. Well as you say at least I win out most of the time -I never manged to whack those spiders.

    Best
    Anne

    Mon Jan 4 2010 17:25:19 #
  18. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    ps my typing is getting atrocious sorry.
    anne

    Mon Jan 4 2010 17:26:18 #
  19. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    That doesn't sound very fun. I thought I had bad dreams but not like that.

    Don't worry about your typing, haha.

    Mon Jan 4 2010 17:38:36 #
  20. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Glad,
    Don't worry about the typing - at least what you say makes sense.
    I've copied the list that I gave you to take to CBT to show her that I'm not useless and that I have worked hard despite no homework. I have even set the alarm on my phone to remind her to turn the tape over so I have a recording of the whole session and not just the first half.
    I don't know it's like having a dog and barking yourself! Still she can't complain as I am trying - very trying

    Truddles

    Mon Jan 4 2010 18:02:25 #
  21. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi Truddles

    As long as TT and not TB takes command you will have no probs at all. Just show them your hands and your progress sheet and they will surely be amazed.

    Let the forum know how you get on tomorrow.

    Keep it up TT

    Dr Anne

    Mon Jan 4 2010 18:10:53 #
  22. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Dr Anne,

    I'll let the forum know how I get on - hopefully it'll be good news. If she's not impressed I'll be really annoyed at her not with me.
    Think I might use the abbreviations most of the time, so much easier than the full names as they are a bit long winded.

    (TT - Terrific Truddles is the strong me, and TB - Troubled Bubbles is the OCD me :wink:)

    Mon Jan 4 2010 18:20:22 #
  23. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Even the computer now doesn't seem to like me it wrote wink rather than show the symbol
    Truddles

    Mon Jan 4 2010 18:21:59 #
  24. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi Truddles

    I hope that TT holds her own with the CBT team today.

    Let us know how you got on when you get back.
    Love
    DA (Dr Anne)

    Tue Jan 5 2010 12:00:08 #
  25. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi DA (Glad),

    TT did really well with the CBT therapist yesterday and I feel that I actually for the first time made progress at the session. It wasn't structured like previous sessions and I felt more in control as I wasn't continually being told we're not talking about that today.
    So may be things will improve.

    Love
    TT (Truddles)

    Wed Jan 6 2010 15:00:58 #
  26. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi TT

    I am so very proud of you.

    DA has missed some opportunities to drain walk. Hubby went out in the bitter cold to defrost the dreaded drain and DA did not go out. She will brave it today when the washing is done.

    Love
    DAx

    Thu Jan 7 2010 10:30:11 #
  27. Avatar Image

    vmb
    Member

    hi I am new to this kind of thing was reading every1 messaeges and really touched by em. I dont really get tied down with overt rituals..but have obsessional voilent and other thoughts.

    Sat Jan 9 2010 1:08:44 #
  28. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi vmb

    Welcome to the forum. Are you new?

    Please keep coming back and sharing your thoughts and worries. We are here for you. You talk: we listen. And hopefully we can find some way forward.

    Annex

    Sat Jan 9 2010 10:16:50 #
  29. Avatar Image

    Nimrod
    Key Master

    Hi Vmb,

    Welcome to the forum. As you have seen people often share their OCD affects them and often say if they have ways of coping with it. You may like to say how OCD affects you and you will probably find that others have similar problems.

    You don't say if you have been diagnosed as having OCD by a doctor or if you are having any medication or treatment, if not then see your doctor as there is a lot that can be done to help. Before you see your doctor it would be helpful to have a look at this http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/files/2009/09/nice-cg031-publicinfo.pdf as it gives a lot of information about OCD and what can be done to help. Also there is a lot of information on our website.

    Please do let us know how you get on.

    Best wishes,
    Caps

    Sat Jan 9 2010 10:24:56 #
  30. Avatar Image


    Unregistered

    Hi all

    Now the forum is buzzing with members, has anyone other than Tuddles and I come up with a name for their alter egos (their strong self and their OCD self).

    I have found it extremely helpful to see my OCD voice as sad glad and my strong voice as Dr Anne. This was something we decided at one of my meetings with my CBT therapist. The most important outcome is that it has helped me see my OCD as an illness which affects me rather than as an intrinsic part of my personality. In doing this I can see that I can get control of it if I continue to work hard and that it need no longer dominate my life

    Have you dreamed up any good names for your OCD voice?

    Anne x

    Sat Jan 9 2010 14:57:53 #

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