Another more depression related post than anything, just had my first grades back of the year. A "C" grade, that doesn't sound too bad until you see the percentage: 55%.
I thought I wrote two good essays and was quite pleased with myself writing these things while being pinned by OCD. Instead it's another blow to my confidence and a one way ticket to either a rubbish or not very satisfying job.
It's my lowest grade since first year. I'm gutted. I'm just not enjoying my degree at the moment. I've so much work to do, I do as best as I can with this illness on top and I still end up doing nothing other than average at best.
Got lots of work to do tomorrow and I can't really be bothered with it. I'm so careful and always average.
I don't know what I'm looking for here but as ever, I needed to write something. I always feel as if I'm letting my family and my girlfriend down by not being able to provide enough. I'm always skint anyway thanks to being a student. I'll still be nothing when I've finished this three year, £15k waste of time.