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I've had a bad day

(46 posts) (6 voices)

Started 1 year ago by
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I looked at my video logs this morning and realised how hideous I am. I know my friends will defend me, but the gods honest truth is that I have a pancake for a head. I think I'm getting fat too.

Myh avatar is horrible too. I look like a wifebeater, which would honestly suit my profile

I was also at work today, and I wanted to explode at everyone today whom were talking and mucking around at the expense of the rest of us. I also want all of those couples at work stop teasing each other and making me feel small. God they're dirt! I'm sorryl

I think this all came about because of yet another no reaction yesterday and also quite a cold reaction from a female work colleague. I just wanna keep well away fro women. The more I'm around them, the more it reinforces my belief that I am this evil pedo.

I'm hideous looking. Seriously, how can anyone think I'm good looking. I'm not. I have horrible hair, which doesn't style and is thin when short. I have a rapists smile and I cannot truly fit in

Still, on a plus note, I may have a new dance partner. Forgive me if I'm underwhelmed, but I don't think its going to happen. My dance teacher said it was someone who used to dance at their school - Someone who quit and is just dancing to fill the gap, perhaps? Will they be committed. Will they even want to dance with me?.

I heard myself on the video log. I have a monotonous voice and no charisma and I'm a creep

Thu Mar 11 2010 23:36:59 #
Truddles
Member

Giles,

I'm worried as you're obviously feeling really low again. What can we all do to help you?

You aren't hideous and I'm not just saying that because I'm a friend. My hair doesn't style either in fact yesterday it looked as if I'd stuck my finger in an electrical socket

You're feeling low and frustrated with yourself and so your self esteem is low.

Can I ask - what does a rapist and a wife beater look like? If we knew then we'd be able to avoid them, but we can't as there's no way of telling either by their looks.

Try and concentrate on the positives and things will seem a lot better.

With regards to the possible new dance partner, perhaps she stopped dancing because like you she's had difficulty finding a partner? You've virtually written her off before you've met her. Keep an open mind and see what happens.

Think positive thoughts

Trudy

Fri Mar 12 2010 0:01:28 #
mama
Member

Giles...I watched the video and thought you were fabulous. It was good to see you and hear your voice and see your cute personality shine...I didnt get a chance to comment on it, but it was brilliant. I'm so glad you posted it...oh, and around here...girls looooooove a British accent!
Let us know about this girl...hope she works out...
Andrea

Fri Mar 12 2010 7:32:29 #
Unregistered

I wished I could transport to america - Use one of those transporters in star trek. I really don't like flying. The problem I have is no reaction. Do you think the girls in America would give me a chance? Nope. Girls are human too, you know.

I'm not sure what wifebeaters look like - I would say I look like one. Check out images on google. They'd probably have quite the collection on there.

My worry about this new dance partner (she hasn't even given a final confirmation yet) is that she may have kids and not always be able to attend. I really want a dance partner who doesn't have a life, either mondays or Sundays, so that practise and competitions can be made. I'm glad you saw part 3 - I didn't think Melissa would mind me using the training video.

Will part 4 be in the works? Only time will tell. I really don't think I'm good looking.

Giles

Fri Mar 12 2010 9:23:51 #
Blueskies
Member

Giles,

Isn't it sad but so common, that when we feel low, we become our own worst , judge and jury. We criticise ourself at times as if we were the worst person on the planet and give ourselves a unrealistic punishment to match the way we feel. What are you blaming yourself for Giles? false accusations about yourself? Where is the evidence to suggest you are the negative person you see yourself as?

I understand your feeling low for the reasons you said, things take time, you know that. Please try not to batter yourself emotionally. You are worth so much more than you realise. Allow yourself to accept change and a little disappointment which is more realistic rather than the high expectations we can often place on ourself to have things the way we want it.

As Trudy said, keep an open mind Giles regarinding the potential dance partner! and please be kind to yourself!!!!!

Pam

Fri Mar 12 2010 9:33:34 #
Unregistered

I'll try

Fri Mar 12 2010 9:54:33 #
mama
Member

Yes Giles. Women are suckers for a British accent here, and they would find you adorable and endearing. I've no doubt you could find yourself a date here...though I've no doubt you could find yourself one there as well. Chin up, and go find yourself a girl to dance with...then wow her with your kindness...Dont settle Giles...the right girl is out there.

Fri Mar 12 2010 16:12:47 #
Unregistered

Glad to hear about the new dance partner. And please feel better about yourself, you're a great guy and you look just fine.

Fri Mar 12 2010 16:20:11 #
Unregistered

I'm underwhelmed about the news of a new dance partner, because its only if she says yes - She may have a dance partner already at her new school. Over the forum, I'm a great guy, around people (non-ocd) I'm insecure and backed into a corner trapped

Giles

Fri Mar 12 2010 17:38:13 #
Unregistered

I'm the same in real life, Giles. And people tend to think I'm odd as well. Often people either ignore me or treat me like some sort of horrible creature that just crawled out of a swamp.

Fri Mar 12 2010 17:46:14 #
mama
Member

The Swamp Thing!!!! Aaaaaagh! Scary movie. You two are so funny. I bet you are just great to be around in real life...my friend used to say when she felt awkward she would just say 'fake it till you make it', and put on like she was very comfortable and then soon there she was just fine in company.

Fri Mar 12 2010 17:54:20 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Giles -

you know what? I don't fall for people that come across as very secure, vain perhaps, extremely aware of their real or imagined beauty. I like shy persons, who need some time to think before they answer. They're more real, simple as that.

I don't like posers who always act like they own the room, and who think they're in the limelight. Who always tell the best jokes. Who brag about their wealth and expensive vacations.

I like the everyday, the mundane, the soft-spoken, the hesitating.

Because it's what we all are. All humans are insecure, and nervous. Thing is: some are smarter in covering it up. But that's not a quality in my book.

Hope this helps somewhat. If not: file a complaint with the moderators...

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Fri Mar 12 2010 18:14:57 #
Truddles
Member

Love the wry comment at the end of the post Cuthbert

Fri Mar 12 2010 18:36:29 #
mama
Member

Thats a good point Cuthbert...dont want to pretend we're something we're not...better to keep the real you out there. I hate fake people too. Just think we all have to take a risk and put ourselves out there even when we arent comfortable completely...but you are right...you cant fake the real you...its usually unappealing if you do.

Fri Mar 12 2010 19:51:40 #
Unregistered

I've just suddenly flipped from a state of comfort to a state of extreme insecurity and thinking about all the cheerful banter I've posted of late, I feel like I've just been pretending, and am a farce of what I actually am

Sat Mar 13 2010 10:31:04 #
Truddles
Member

The cheerful banter was good and we all have days when although we post something that appears cheerful we're actually crying inside.

Just think of all the people you've managed to cheer up with your posts. You certainly put a smile on my face reading them.

I take it you're having another bad day?

Sat Mar 13 2010 14:51:36 #
Unregistered

Actually, it seems better now....It was just one of those hopeless periods, when everything seems bleak. I wish I had someone to tak to, like a friend I could see who'd understand my problem. The main hiccup is that, as OCD sufferers, we have boundary issues, when being invited/inviting someone to your house.

Sat Mar 13 2010 14:59:40 #
mama
Member

you know...I had a therapist once who told me 'what goes up, must come down'. Biologically speaking, it makes sense that you swing from happy to down...to the extent that you go up, that tends to be the extent you will go down..you can watch the pattern and not get as alarmed. Anti depressants tend to stabilize the swings, but not everyone reacts well to them.

Sat Mar 13 2010 15:58:30 #
Unregistered

I've had a good day today, and I know tomorrow the walls will come crashing down around me and I'll be alone and sad again.

Sat Mar 13 2010 23:20:06 #
mama
Member

Not necessarily...you could have 3 good days and one bad day...you might want to chart it and watch on a calendar if there are any trends to your moods...this is often the first thing a therapist does is have you track your mood and anxiety and depression. It really is eye opening and helps you to see patterns.

Sun Mar 14 2010 3:04:02 #
Unregistered

I'm having a pretty good day today

How's everybody else's been?

Sun Mar 14 2010 17:21:00 #
Unregistered

A nightmare. Still struggling with this bloomin' essay that's due on Tuesday but should ideally be done by now. I'm now writing this on here because I'm procrastinating like hell and putting off going back to wrestling with it.

Sun Mar 14 2010 18:03:43 #
Unregistered

awwww, you poor thing. Whats the essay on?

Sun Mar 14 2010 21:13:40 #
Unregistered

Papal Reform in the Middle Ages.

Mon Mar 15 2010 17:15:46 #
Unregistered

Oh my goodness me. I wish I could help, but history is definitely not my subject

Mon Mar 15 2010 23:37:27 #
Blueskies
Member

Good luck Helz!!! oh it's Tuesday!!! did you do it?

Tue Mar 16 2010 11:18:34 #
mama
Member

Where's my red pen....Helz gets a big red 'P' for procrastination on this essay. hahaha. I think if there was such a grade I would have gotten it on everything in college (university). I ALWAYS did papers last minute...stayed up till odd hours with my shoulders cramping my neck...but it was done on time! lol. I wasnt worth much the next day, but I got the stupid paper done! hahah loved university.

Tue Mar 16 2010 16:03:44 #
Unregistered

No, but it's not actually due till Friday, I just wanted to hand it in today because I'm not at uni on Friday. But I will be now so I can hand in the essay. Oh well, I'd rather take the extra time and do it well than have rushed it for today.

Tue Mar 16 2010 23:27:18 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Helz, How's the essay coming on?

Wed Mar 17 2010 10:36:18 #
Blueskies
Member

And did the extra time make a difference Helz? I am sure you did a great job!!!

Wed Mar 17 2010 10:42:18 #

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