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forum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

It's taking over my life; please can you you share your experience?

(7 posts) (4 voices)
  • Started 2 years ago by Nigel
  • Latest reply from rosa5
  • This topic is Not a support question
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    Nigel
    Member

    Hello everyone! I've just joined this forum today because I've spend this bank holiday weekend not knowing where to turn as I have been consumed with my OCD.
    I've been browsing the internet and trying to find relative expereinces, however I am strugging to find anything substancial. I am hoping that you will be able to share your experienc eif it is similar and either tell me how you coped or maybe we could just compare notes for support?

    I have had a hoard of anxiety symptoms over the past 10-15 years however they became a real problem in 2006 when I had to take time off work. I seemed to get back in the saddle and now I'm being overtaking by OCD. I was having a tough time for a while and I noticed my OCD but didn't recognise it as OCD. Last year two massive influences in my life passed away one of which was immdiate family and my rock. My OCD seems to have grown by 1000% and now I've recognised it as that (OCD).
    Thinking back I used to have symtoms when I was little like touching things repeatedly. My brother used to show signs as well and thinking about it my other brother too. It was never a problem though until its overtaken my life. I've been on SSRI's for anxiety and after a while I had side effects so wanted to go natural. I still want to keep off the pills if i can.

    My symptoms (this is only a few of them):

    All of a sudden I struggle to go out. I have to list everything I take with me and tick of the list when I come back. However I still have to look behaind me many times and check under chairs and double back to check again. I have driven 60 miles to check as well. The other thing I do is if someone says something I I think of something negative, for example, toothache; I feel I have to get them to repeat it until i think of something positive and this continues until it feels right however its awkward trying to look natural and it usually makes things worse. Today I didnt take a jacket to work. I commented twice in conversation that it was cold and I didn't have a jacket. I remember looking in the mirro and not having a jacket and walking into the office and not having a jacket. I remember adjusting my jumper sleeves whilst driving cos i didnt have a jacket. The jackets i wear to work are with me now. However i had to go back and check and still i'm worried because what if i took another jacket and left it; but i didnt. we've just had guests and i think they may have taken my trainers although the trainers that were downstairs are with me. Can anyone relate to this please?

    Mon May 3 2010 16:52:36 #
  2. Avatar Image

    Truddles
    Member

    Hi Nigel,

    Welcome to the forum.

    have to list everything I take with me and tick of the list when I come back. However I still have to look behaind me many times and check under chairs and double back to check again.
    That's definitely me and my OCD

    Many of us share similar experiences to you so you are not alone. Have you been diagnosed with OCD? If not you really need to speak to your GP and ask for a referral to be assessed for treatment. CBT is usually offered for OCD but sometimes medication.

    My mother passed away last year and I found my OCD spiralled out of control. There have been at least three times over the past few months were I couldn't cope any more because of the OCD and didn't want to carry on, but the friends that I'd made on the forum kept me going.

    The forum has taught me more about my OCD than the professionals, it has also made it easier to understand the CBT. I used to think that I was the only one that used to do some of the things I did because of the OCD and so I felt ashamed of myself. But I found lots of people had similar obsessions and compulsions and then I didn't feel so bad.

    Talking to others that are going through similar experiences really helps.

    Best wishes
    Trudy

    Mon May 3 2010 17:40:37 #
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    rosa5
    Member

    Hi Nigel.
    Sorry you're having a bad Bank Holiday monday in terms of ocd...funnily enough for me too this whole weekend has been consumed with trying to resist ocd hence my visit to this website.

    Yes I can relate to your symptoms and the way this disorder can just consume you totally. Also the fact that sometimes it comes back with a vengeance when you think you've beaten it...on the plus side at least there are times I hope when it's not so bad, although I know when it's happening it feels like it will never go. i've given in to a few rituals this weekend and feel bad about that but am going to try again now.

    I think research shows that some stresses do make ocd worse and I can just imagine how the disorder would love it when you had the bad experiences of people passing away that you mentioned. I've had ocd for a long time as well, but luckily my sister hasn't got (as far as I know) similar problems.

    From the sound of it your ocd is making you doubt things at the moment - - well I hope that for today you can try to fight it by resisting listening to thoughts abt your jacket and trainers - but I think from the sound of it you should see a doctor if just to let him or her know how you are. I take medications (seroxat at a high dose - I'm on 50mg but the side effects do seem to lessen over time) but I'm hoping to get onto something else that is more effective at keeping this stupid ocd at bay. If you really don't want to take medication then you might like talking therapy that the doctor should be able to help with...or have you read any books on coping with it? They usually have a few anti ocd or anti-anxiety books in libraries these days.

    Well I guess everyone on this forum knows what your going through - I really hope you feel less affected with it soon. It's such a nightmare trying to pretend you're fine and have a normal conversation when the ocd is playing up. But alll the best - mine has has got loads better so it is possible to beat it!

    Mon May 3 2010 17:43:59 #
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    rosa5
    Member

    Sorry to repeat the info re CBT etc from Truddles! Must have been writing at the same time.

    Mon May 3 2010 17:47:09 #
  5. Avatar Image

    Nigel
    Member

    Hi Truddles and Rosa; thank you for your quick reply!

    I feel like my computer is my best friend this evening i was clinging to it hoping for a reply!

    It's good to know that there is hope and that I can talk with people who understand.

    Thanks again!

    N

    Mon May 3 2010 18:07:04 #
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    Unregistered

    Hi Nigel,
    Sorry that you are having a rough time at the moment. I recently joined this forum and have found it to be a real blessing. Like you I have had OCD for a long time and had a recent resurgence, I found this site when looking for solutions, and in many ways its a bit of a solution in itself. The people here are very friendly and helpful, and they understand what life is like with OCD which for me was such a relief as I had never had the opportunity to talk to another person with OCD. I hope you find this site helpful, and that it might provide you with some support and make life a bit more bearable.
    Jo

    Mon May 3 2010 18:13:13 #
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    rosa5
    Member

    No problem! And all the best for the moment.

    Mon May 3 2010 18:13:25 #

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