OCD Action

Dee
Member

Hi, I have only just found this site and am not sure if I am in the right place, I have been to my husbands doctor and he says it is OCD, but I do not know, my husband has had two major strokes and several small ones, he is on medication for epilepsy, and has a permanent catheter fitted as he had bladder cancer and feels the need to go to the toilet all the time, the problem is that when he goes to empty his leg bag, he then goes into his bedroom and dries his pants first, then his trousers, with a hairdryer that he keeps at the side of his bed, he is convinced that the catheter is leaking all the time, I can find no proof of this, his leg bag is on his left leg, he says that he can feel the leak down his right leg as well as his left, and keeps drying socks on the radiator, also shoes and slippers under the radiators, he wears one shoe and one slipper, and when I asked why he said because the other shoe was drying, he also insists on wearing incontinence pads through the night, and changes through the night, I have checked these and there is no mark or smell on the pads, if I question him about this he loses his temper and says I don't understand the problem. He also has a thing about dust mites and bed bugs, I have to regularly change his bedding, vac the bed and spray it with something he sent for from an advert, he sprays his pillow daily, he wears a builders dust mask to go to bed as he says his mouth gets full of dust mites, he takes a drink of blackcurrant juice to bed, but not for drinking, he uses it to rinse his mouth out during the night because of the mites. At the back of my mind I do think he has a problem but just sometimes I doubt myself and think maybe I am the person who is wrong and that he is leaking. Sorry to have gone on so long, but would appreciate any comments on whether it is OCD or suggestions as to something else.
Thank you.

Mon Feb 15 2010 18:44:12 #
Unregistered

Hi Dee

I am 61 and have had severe OCD for 40 years. I have, in the past, been afraid of so many different things. I have also been reluctant to talk about them openly - even to my husband. I often felt dirty or wet when I was not and the more I checked the dirtier and wetter I felt.

I do not know whether or not your husband has OCD but he is certainly anxious and frightened. Is it possible to get your husband to read my post? If he sees that he is not alone in such thoughts it might help him to make a decision to talk to his GP about this openly.

If you would like to you and/or your husband can also PM me. Anything said will remain totally confidential.

Very best wishes
Anne

Tue Feb 16 2010 11:47:47 #
Dee
Member

Thank you Anne, he is in complete denial and loses his temper if I try to explain that he is not wet, so I try not to comment, which is sometimes very difficult and then I feel guilty. His doctor has said that unless he admits he has a problem, there is nothing they can do, and that I just have to go with the flow. I just try to tell myself that these things don't really matter and aren't harming anyone.
Thank you again, best wishes

Tue Feb 16 2010 17:56:39 #
Unregistered

Hi Dee

I am so sorry about this. I guess you have no alternative other than to carry on as you are. He probably feels angry about his illness it must be really hard for him. My husband has an inoperable brain aneurism (after a burst which almost killed him) and he is really, really scared of what will happen. His response is to be angry with me. I leave the room and do not engage with his anger.

I hope that he will seek help if it gets too unbearable for him (and you). In the meantime try not to engage with it if possible. When I roped my husband in on my rituals it made his life really difficult and my OCD far worse. Of course, this is harder said than done. I am always here to chat if you need me.
Love
Anne (61 a 40 year contamination OCD sufferer)

Tue Feb 16 2010 18:17:37 #