OCD Action

OCDLONELY
Member

I can't come on here often as I don't have the internet properly at the moment but I really need to talk to people who understand. I'm 31 now and have been ill since I was 14. First I was diagnosed with acute depression and eventually at 20-21 told that I have ocd. I pretty much lost my life at 14. The thing is I haven't had any friends all this time. I have met some lovely people on the internet through this site and another over the last few years and I certainly see them as friends and dear ones at that that I would never want to lose for anything but I have nobody to see or talk to or go out with where I live just my family and although they care they don't truly understand me or what I'm going through. I'm so lonely and just long for a friend. I have never had a girlfriend either obviously and that really hurts too. I want to be well get married and have children but it just seems like an impossible dream. I'm stuck in the house as I can't go out and haven't properly in years. My ocd is controlling me 24/7 with fears of germs, contamination and lots of unwanted thoughts and images and so many compulsions and rituals and anything that might seem like a positive thing to happen in my life the ocd pounces and tries to destroy it. When I seem to be coping or overcoming one another one jumps in and takes its place. I don't want much in life just some friends and a family of my own. Is this to much to ask for? I'm so low and the more I think about things the worse I feel. I know I'm not alone with all this and I want everyone here to be well and happy too. I'm just so scared that this is me forever.Take care everyone

Sat Sep 5 2009 15:39:38 #
Dirvan
Member

Hi OCDlonely.

Im sorry you are feeling the way that you are, I can totally sympathize, I have been there myself, and still am in other ways. My ocd has improved over the last few years but when it was bad I was really bad. Now I have chronic fatigue syndrome, also called M.E, and that has taken me back to a similar situation. I dont often go out, I have no friends, have never had a girlfriend either (Im 27), cant work, cant even use the pc or do much for more than an hour without needing to rest/lay down afterwards. I only have online friends too, and even though I love them, sometimes it just doesnt cut it when compared to "offline" friends, meeting in person etc.

I dont think what you want, friends,a family etc, is too much to ask for, Im wishing for the same, and Im not sure it will happen for me either.

Im not sure how helpful im being, but just wanted to post something. If you fancy pm`ing me, please do

I hope things start to improve for you soon.

Dirvan

Sat Sep 5 2009 21:51:22 #
stevieb
Member

Hello

It won't be forever, especially if you're determined enough not to let it. It is your life to do what you want with, but its awful when OCD takes over like that. What counselling are you having at the moment?

I know how crippling it can be, because even when we put the compulsions at bay, they still taint our thoughts. But with time and effort, the feelings do pass.

I don't really know what to suggest, but maybe try going out a little bit at a time? Start with the garden, then a short walk up the street. As for germs, I've heard that the immune system needs a few in order to keep it ticking over, anyway.

And at only 31, you're still young, and can still kick this, be able to achieve your dream of a partner and family. Try and set yourself a goal, like ask yourself where you want to be in 12 months, two years, etc. And strive to achieve whatever it is.

Hope this helps you.

Steve

Sat Sep 5 2009 22:59:56 #
sandy
Member

Hi there,
I havent been diagnoised with OCD that long but new i suffered mainley with anxeity. Since the OCD has got alot worse it seems that everyday is an effort and the thoughts and feeling get worse and uncontrollable. I am waiting for CBT and the waiting list is 4 months. The way i have been surviving is with this forum, just coming on here and reading about others that suffer and to know your not a lone is a great comfort.
I do get support from love ones, but sometimes they might find it hard to understand what goes on in an OCD mind.
Do you get support from your GP?
What about support groups, and see if you can get in touch with someone in your area to talk to first that would be a start?
Hang in there and keep using this forum its helped me get through some tough times recently.
Hope this helped.

Sandy

Mon Sep 7 2009 0:18:33 #
Unregistered

Dear Daniel, I truly believe that anyone as special as you must be destined to find the perfect partner.

I do believe that the ongoing research for the genes responsible for this wretched condition is really progressing. I do not think determination is necessarily the answer, as you know, but you certainly have plenty of that anyway. The latest discovery in Alzheimer's research is also encouraging. Gene study is coming on in leaps and bounds.

Love, Tricia x

Mon Sep 7 2009 15:23:26 #
Hobbit
Member

Hello,
I haven't been on this board fo a while but i just logged in to ask for some opinions/advice on something when i saw your post. I really feel for you OCD is such hard work but i think it can get better over time. I couldn't get CBT when i was diagnosed because there was not enough availability so i was perscribed sertraline which i have just stopped taking after two years. I know medication is not perhaps the best way but it really helped me take control of my anxiety but before this i can remeber thinking that i would always be in a awful place. I guess what i am trying to say is i really hope you feel better soon and i believe that the way you are feeling now will not last forever but you must demand help to get you to a better place.
Take care and best wishes
Hobbit

Mon Sep 14 2009 13:30:32 #