OCD Action

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Citaloman
Member

Hi and happy Xmas, or as happy as you can be at this time. I have a checklist I would like you to look at for me. I suppose you would say its reassurance but i am just wondering what you think.

1/ is it OCD when you go back over things a million times over?

2/ is it OCD if you have to look or ask for evidence but only find anxiety and dead ends, I look for evidence and get dead ends that prove me wrong which lead to anxiety.

3/ is it OCD if thoughts seem 'so real' and I mean so real..!

4/ is it OCD if you don't believe you have it and you could be lying to everyone?

5/ is it OCD if one minute you an feel everything is ok and then the next hour seems so real again?

Thanks

Mon Dec 26 2011 18:11:09 #
Tess
Member

YES

Mon Dec 26 2011 18:16:14 #
Tess
Member

Now how about joining the party on the Christmas Cracker thread and try and forget about OCD for this evening - 'cos it'll still be there waiting for you to tackle it tomorrow. Reminds me of a holiday we had many years ago in Wales and we had booked tickets for an afternoon's boat trip to see tha sea bird colonies on Skomer Island. The trip was due to start at 2.30pm and the boat owner also ran the local post office which didn't close until 2.30pm so inevitably he was late and a couple of passengers were grumbling loudly. When he eventually arrived they complained in no uncertain terms and he just put his head on one side, looked at them and said very quietly "Island'll still be there"!

Mon Dec 26 2011 18:27:39 #
S*F
Member

Hello! I DO hope so! I logged on to ask pretty much the same thing! I have intrusive thoughts and sometimes they tell me I really want to do the terrible things I think and at that point I want to rip my skin off and run down the street screaming. Had one yesterday and it came out of nowhere. I am practising not allowing them to upset me but it seems they are fighting back. Is that normal?? Guess I'm reassurance seeking but I am scared to admit that I have thoughts that tell me I want to do the terrible things I think I need to know that others with OCD have the same and that I am not what I fear myself to be.

Mon Dec 26 2011 18:41:05 #
slogsweep
Member

Indeed Citaloman, it [/b]certainly is[b] . As is asking for reassurance as to whether you have OCD .

You've no reason to doubt you're ill with OCD. We can see it clearly,

Hope you've had a good Christmas,

Slog

Mon Dec 26 2011 20:59:10 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone... I agree... And I try not to reassure myself of it, but it is inevitable... It is a firm diagnosis I think, and from that we can take strength in knowing what our common enemy is, the OCD...
wannabe

Mon Dec 26 2011 21:38:52 #
Twitchy
Member

Yes Citaloman it is, it sounds very much like it to me. I try so hard not to ask for reassurance but i fail,my husband is trying not to reassure me at the moment and i don't like it, he's doing it for my own good though.

Tue Dec 27 2011 10:23:47 #
Tess
Member

I think we're all agreed it's OCD, now what about the "mindfullness" I suggested earlier, try to concentrate on living in the moment and not allow the brain to race off at supersonic speed into worries about things which have already happened and you cannot change or into the uncharted and unknown territory of the future. The only thing you can be really sure of about the future is that worrying about it will spoil your experience of today.

Tue Dec 27 2011 10:34:19 #
Citaloman
Member

My mind won't allow ''mindfulness" Tess. I'm too scared and tired. I don't know how I will move on from this.

Tue Dec 27 2011 17:04:47 #
Truddles
Member

Your mind will allow 'mindfulness' it's just that at the moment you're so hyped up that you can't. When you're not relaxed your mind races and picks up on every little thing. First you need to learn how to relax. Get yourself a relaxation CD to listen to, once you're more relaxed you'll find it easier to cope.
Remember if you think that you can't do something then you won't be able to do it, you have to think positively. It's not easy but gradually you'll start to feel more in control.

Tue Dec 27 2011 17:22:34 #
Tess
Member

These swimsuit girls are wise old owls.

Tue Dec 27 2011 17:40:53 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi everyone... Yes, I noticed the pictures changing! Good stuff...
I do so agree with the point about relaxation, Citaloman... It is a skill not taught in ordinary life, as if we need to be psyched up to perform better... Maybe in some situations yes, but in most things in the peaceful world, being psyched up for hours on end is not good... A trick I sometimes use, is to breathe out as far as I comfortably can, then wait until my body wants to take a breath... Maybe 5-10 seconds... It stops the hyperventilation a bit, which makes the mind go crazy... Another trick, is to breath in slowly for a count of say, four, then breath out to a count of five... What this does, is forces the body to physically slow down, and the mind follows suit... This caninduce sleep! But that doesn't have to be a bad thing...
The thing is, with the pace of modern life, we forget to do the things kids do automatically... And Cats... A cat will go from full alert to completely chilled out in seconds... We had one on our garden this afternoon... I love watching them... So maybe that will help a bit, while the shops are closed... On Amazon, check out the work of Glenn Harrold... Even check him out on youtube... Also someone called I believe Mark Collier... And Vangelis... Download some Vangelis... More later...
wannabe

Tue Dec 27 2011 20:23:38 #
Mike
Member

It's OCD if you are unable to cope with uncertainty. The uncertainty could be about being a sinner, a pedophile, having touched the doorknob the wrong number of times, having contracted a deadly disease, etc. The difference between people with and without OCD is that those with OCD are unable to cope with uncertainty (although only on one or two specific topics).

Wed Dec 28 2011 16:33:24 #
Tess
Member

Mike, I have had diagnosed OCD for over 40 years which has been severe enough at times to require in patient hospital treatment and to lead me to attempt suicide but I have no problem living with uncertainty so this criteria is not absolute.

Wed Dec 28 2011 17:32:37 #
wannabefree
Member

Has today been any better, Citaloman?
Wannabe

Wed Dec 28 2011 20:52:00 #
Citaloman
Member

I got up and felt terrible so i went back to sleep for a few hours, woke up and felt a bit better. You?

Wed Dec 28 2011 21:38:51 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Citaloman, I've been mucking about with writing today... It takes my mind off things a bit... If I have something worrying me, I write it down, and look at it on a page, where I can detach a bit from it... I'm struggling, but not quite as bad as it has been... Things are a bit flat after the euphoria of Christmas... I don't hold out a lot of hope for the new year, but we'll see what comes... I work the same rule as Christmas, and try not to expect too much of it, after all, it is just another day...
Sleep is a good thing, as long as it aint all the time... Though I struggle to get up in the mornings... If it makes us feel better then that can only be a good thing...
wannabe

Wed Dec 28 2011 22:14:47 #
slogsweep
Member

Just reading Wannabe's post has made me think of what might help you Citaloman,

Do you like to draw? I find that very theraputic, as much as my confidence was damaged by an art teacher some years back. I also occasionaly get my Ukulele back into tune and strum a few chords together. It's so relaxing! I also love cricket, football, American Football and Basketball, and while I no longer play, watching a game really calms my anxiety down. I know there's going to be no triggers in a football match, for example. It's both predicatable and unpredicatable if you get what I mean.

Perhaps photography or like me and Wannabe, write? We might be cursed with OCD, but are also often blessed with vivid and wonderful imaginations to craft creative things with. I just think if you channel your energy into things other than OCD, you'll feel better.

Let us know how you're doing. I'm so sorry I haven't replied to your message, I keep forgetting to check "my profile". Without University I haven't much reason to check emails.

Please give me a nudge on a thread if you need a reply. I always check the forums but sometimes forget my profile.

Slog

Wed Dec 28 2011 22:35:59 #
wannabefree
Member

How's it going, Citaloman?
wannabe

Thu Dec 29 2011 19:40:16 #
Mike
Member

Tess,

May I ask what obsessions and compulsions you've had? Aside from neutral obsessions and compulsions, such as repeating a random image in one's head a certain number of times, I believe all of OCD can be explained by inability to cope with uncertainty. In fact, this may be applicable to ALL anxiety/fear related disorders.

Thu Dec 29 2011 20:42:29 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Mike, I wonder why it is that I actually look forward to uncertainty sometimes... If I knew that something was certain, then the outcome would be certain, and if life was always certain it would be monotonous... I like a bit of uncertainty, and yet I also have quite bad OCD... Acceptance is a good word to use I think... When I try to accept that something is okay, I can start to nuetralise it a bit... I'm waiting to do CBT again, and using the stuff I've read in books, I'm trying to rebuild my life... I use the word acceptance myself, what do others think?
How's it goin today, Citaloman?
Wannabe

Thu Dec 29 2011 21:29:46 #
wannabefree
Member

I'm having an early night tonight, Citaloman... Desperately tired, and need to be up early in the morning, Chat tomorrow... Night night everyone...
Wannabe

Thu Dec 29 2011 22:08:54 #
Mike
Member

Uncertainty is only scary for things that we are afraid of. OCD will never focus on the uncertainty of something in which either outcome is desirable. It's when there are things that scare us that uncertainy becomes scary, and causes anxiety. For example, many OCD sufferers constantly obsess and ritualize over the idea of one of their loved ones getting killed or raped. They can never be certain that this is not happening unless they constantly try to get in touch with their loved ones. It is the uncertainty about whether or not a murder or a rape is happening that is tormenting them. For OCD sufferers whose obsessions are not centered on this topic, uncertainty on this topic is acceptable. We are able to cope with the fact that we do not know, at any given moment, if one of our loved ones is being killed or raped. Since we are OK with this uncertainty, and we accept the possibility that it is in fact happening, we have no anxiety and no urge to perform compulsions to prove to ourselves that it is not happening.

Thu Dec 29 2011 22:16:29 #
Tess
Member

Mike
I have contamination OCD now stablised on SSRI meds which I have been taking since 1992. I have lived long enough to see highly regarded and widely practiced theories relegated to the rubbish tip and I feel we still have some way to go before we find a universal treatment for OCD. Now lets hear about you and your OCD and why you believe so resolutely in ERP which I personally view as a stepping stone which some unfortunately fall off.

Fri Dec 30 2011 11:13:41 #
Mike
Member

Tess,

You said that you have never had trouble living with uncertainty, but I would argue that if your obsessions were about contamination, you were probably worried about contracting some sort of disease, or being contaminated in some way, right? This is an example of being unable to cope with uncertainty - the sheer possibility, no matter how unlikely, of being contaminated in some way, frightened you so much that would obsess and feel the need to ritualistically perform compulsions to prevent that feared consequence from happening. People without OCD are highly aware that it's POSSIBLE that they may contract an illness or get contaminated at any given time, yet they don't obsess about it. Why? Because they are able to live with this uncertainty.

As for me, I've had OCD since I was 9 years old, mostly centering around repeating neutral images or emotions in my mind. I also had obsessions about my physical appearance in high school and college, but the OCD really exploded 4 years ago after I broke up with my ex-gf. I began to have a form of relationship OCD, and I didn't get better for years until I discovered ERP. At one point I even became suicidal over the fear of either 1) having to live with the anxiety I was feeling or 2) relieving the anxiety by telling my girlfriend what was on my mind (a compulsion), while at the same time risking losing her forever because of the content of my thoughts. The anxiety because so bad that I started having suicidal thoughts, and I ended up giving in to the OCD, hurting her immensely, and almost destroying the relationship. I thought my life was over until I discovered ERP, in which after my first appointment I made more progress than I had made in over a year with my cognitive therapist, who tried to use logic and reassurance to subdue my fears.

I realized that the ERP therapist understood OCD to a much greater extent than the cognitive therapist, and that ERP is a much more effective tool for combating fears and anxiety than cognitive therapy. It continues to keep the OCD at bay every day.

-Mike

Sat Dec 31 2011 20:39:07 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi again Mike, it is certainly a struggle this OCD, and it is awful when it affects our nearest and dearest, who sometimes get annoyed cos we are getting the support from therapists etc, and they aren't... My other half finds it very frustrating being my carer... I guess your gf found it similar, and not everyone can take our suffering on board... I know that there will be some ERP on my CBT, and to be honest, I'm a little scared! But it should go okay I think...
Wannabe

Sat Dec 31 2011 21:44:55 #
Tess
Member

Hi Mike
Thanks for sharing some of your experiences. As for my contamination OCD I can say categorically I have never worried about catching a disease or being contaminated. I also know of others with contamination OCD who have no fears about their own health or death. The only uncertainty for me is that after 40+ years of living with OCD I am no nearing to knowing what caused it other than the fact that it runs in my family.
I'm really pleased that ERP has worked so well for you, I have found a similar degree of relief purely through medicataion, others will find CBT helpful, or a combination of meds and psycholgical therapy.

Sun Jan 1 2012 11:13:33 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Tess, How's it going with you at the moment?
Wannabe

Sun Jan 1 2012 19:54:58 #
Mike
Member

Tess,

So what were your fears then?

Mon Jan 2 2012 2:38:20 #
Tess
Member

Wannabe, Hi, I'm good thanks.
Mike, my fears are about 'contamination' coming into my home but after 43 years I have not worked out what the contamination actually represents, it is an unknown entity - but it's power was strong enough before SSRIs to put me in hospital 6 times, wreck my first marriage and lead me to suicide attempts. My son, who was raised by his father because I was too ill to bring him up, developed OCD at the same age as I was when mine struck.
A lot of my past is tragic and very painful so I don't really want to rake it all up, SSRI medication has been my route to managing the OCD and to finding a much happier life in the same way that ERP has been yours.

Mon Jan 2 2012 11:14:39 #