OCD Action

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Sarahlou
Member

Hi OCD Londoner,

Many thanks for your post, it does seem like we have a lot in common and from being on this website you soon realise we are seriously not alone! I did find CBT very helpful, especially how to be mindful! The techniques i was taught definately do help but it does take practise and even now sometimes i forget myself and start to argue back with these thoughts and all that does is upset me but then i get back on track and stop reacting to them!

Good luck with your CBT, i hope you find it as helpful as i did!! keep at it and keep positive!

Take care
Sarahlou

Fri Nov 4 2011 11:03:25 #
Lou
Member

Dear fellow OCD intrusive thought sufferers I have just joined...the nature of the beast is that once it has visited you, it will return, sometimes with a suitcase or two, or with menaces. But think, there are millions of unwanted thoughts we HAVEN'T had. The best advice I can give anyone else with OCD is to say 'what if..?'and try and follow the thing through to its silly conclusion...one that isn' t real even if it seems to affect our behaviour adversely...or else 'so what...!'Remind yourself that your friends/family etc know we love them dearly.
Like Sarahlou, the whole thing just came to me in my teens like an awful lightbulb moment and I've still got it aged 57. I also suffer from loads of other OCD's but manage to somehow continue as a writer.

It has handicapped me so badly and runs rampant to this day. But although I cannot seem able to follow my own advice I know this is a useful approach.
Let me know anyof your ideas, folks.

Fri Nov 4 2011 17:35:47 #
Truddles
Member

Hi Lou,

Welcome to the forum

Sat Nov 5 2011 8:39:20 #
Sickboy
Member

Hi there I'm new to the forum and struggle with intrusive thoughts. I found this site through desperation and the need to know more about OCD. I have just been told that this is what I suffer from, to be honest it has destroyed my whole life. One seems to understand how stressful it is. I dread the alarm going of because here starts another day of torment. Sleeping is short and not so sweet. I feel ashamed that I have no control over my thoughts they have become so bad that I can't work at the moment.
I feel so isolated here and confused I can't see away out of this.....
I hope this make sense to someone. Sickboy.

Tue Nov 8 2011 14:24:59 #
Truddles
Member

Hi sickboy,

Welcome to the forum

OCD can be extremely isolating, especially if you've not got anyone to talk to who understands what you're going through.
Here on the forum we're all in the same boat and so can empathise with each other and so provide support for each other.
Being given the diagnosis can initially be quite distressing but once it's sunk in you'll find that knowing what you will make it easier to deal with it.
I presume that as you've got a diagnosis that you've seen a doctor? Have they referred you for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT)?
If you go to http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-info/resources/ you will find information on OCD including the treatments available.

Tue Nov 8 2011 15:23:27 #
Sickboy
Member

Hi truddles;
Thankyou for getting back to me, I am currently wait for cbt have spoken to doctor and I'm currently on risperdine and fluxomine. I suffer intrusive thoughts which has tore my life apart. Have been to the OCD action meeting in Glasgow which I have to say was very reassuring. To know that others feel as I do, though I have just getting to terms with this. I can't explain things to my wife as I feel ashamed and a failure. Is this normal what ever that is. Thanks again.

Tue Nov 8 2011 21:23:23 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Sickboy, welcome to the forums, yes, it can be normal to feel that you're a failure, except that you're not a failure, none of us are, we just think we are... It may be a good idea to tell your wife how you feel, then she'll understand the way you are... She can be your greatest support ally in your fight against this horrible illness... She may even be wondering already, so it may put her thoughts at rest when you explain your feelings... Try not to feel ashamed, you are, as we all are on here fighting something that takes enormous bravery, and theres no reason to be ashamed for being brave
wannabe

Tue Nov 8 2011 21:49:10 #
Sarahlou
Member

Hi Sickboy and welcome to this forum and the lovely people on it!! I've also not been on this forum long but i've found it a great place of comfort to talk to others that know exactly what your going through! I've suffered intrusive thoughts since i was 17 and i'm now 38! At its worst i also feel totally tormented and distressed, it just takes over your life and i go from being a happy girl to a girl who is introverted and very sad! BUT there are ways of coping and living with this cruel illness! I've not long ago completed a CBT course and the stratergies i've learnt from that do definately help me to cope a little easier! I also agree with Wannabefree, i think maybe you should try talking to your wife! when i first had this problem i thought i was going mad and that no one would understand me so i kept it to myself but as i grew older i got braver and i confided to my best friend and a councellor and neither of them thought i was mad!! A problem shared is a problem halved as they say! Your post makes total sense to me, your not alone even though sometimes it feels that way! There is no quick fix, this is an illness but we can learn ways of dealing and coping with it! Wannabefree, what you said is soooo right, fighting this evil does take enormous bravery and none of us should ever feel ashamed!

Take care
Sarahlou

Wed Nov 9 2011 12:36:55 #
Sickboy
Member

Sarahlou, wannabefree thankyou so much for your reassurance I do feel as though I'm going mad!!!!
I have tried to explain to my wife how I feel.but she say she doesn't understand we have split at the moment which has put a great strain on things. Every hour of every day is such a struggle but I'm so glad I found this forum, that there people who understand were I'm coming from thankyou again. Sickboy

Wed Nov 9 2011 15:43:10 #
Sarahlou
Member

Just keep strong sickboy, i know its hard, don't be scared to accept as much help that is offered to you!! The way i see it is if its gonna help me to get better and live a normal life then i'm all for it! Don't suffer in silence! there is lots of support out there including this forum!

Take care
Sarahlou

Thu Nov 10 2011 11:21:34 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Saralou, Hi Sickboy... I too sure wish it was easier... A lot of people cannot understand it like us on here, can they? Hopefully things will patch up with your wife, sickboy... Life is a massive struggle for us ones with OCD, but I'm hopeful it can be beaten... Your GP should hopefully be a useful ally here, cos medication can help, also the CBT, for which there is often a waiting list for, cos in England especially, mental health services are chronically understaffed, as is all parts of the NHS, I guess...
wannabe

Thu Nov 10 2011 20:06:32 #
Hannah17
Member

Hi Sarahlou,
I took some time off from OCD forums just to focus on myself. But I'm still the same as ever. To the last post you replied to me, I don't know whether I would want to go to counselling. Talk about it makes me feel as if it'd make it worse. I find it easier to just sit and try and forget about the thoughts. Although I never really do forget about the thoughts. I'm just not really sure anymore. Hm. I wish I could just forget thoughts so easily! but it's so hard, it's the first thing I think of when I wake up in a morning and it's with me throughout the day. I've tried all sorts of techniques to try and shift the thoughts away and none of them are working. I just wonder if I don't have OCD and that my thoughts are actually real. How would I know if I'm actually falling out of love or it's the relationship OCD? Would I be able to tell the difference?
Sorry for so many questions.
Thank you. xx

Sun Nov 20 2011 19:07:00 #
wannabefree
Member

Hi Hannah, I seem to remember you saying you weren't getting help with your OCD... It wouldn't do any harm to ask your GP about help...
The more things you can engage to help you fight this bully of OCD the better... Just a thought...
wannabe

Sun Nov 20 2011 20:57:22 #
Strawberry_fairies
Member

This website helped me so much when i thought i was going crazy, just want to talk to someone so I don’t feel so distress!
My thoughts started about three weeks ago and I just had a thought pop into my head that maybe i didn’t love my boyfriend which is stupid I no but from then on it escalated and for a week all I did was cry have panic attacks and feel so guilty for having these thoughts.
Weve been together for three years and they have been the best three years of my life. I love him more than anything and all I want is for us to be happy, have babies and be together forever. But the thoughts just keep going round, What if I don’t love him as much as I think I do? What if I don’t love him? Ill wake up in the morning with his arms around me and think I love him so much there is no where else id rather be and then my head will think your just saying that because you worry you don’t love him! Its not a voice but my thought but as if I cant control my thought or as if someone else is making me think it, I don’t hear voices and it scares me telling anyone this in case they think I do which I don’t!
Im also scared something terrible will happen to my boyfriend when I feel like this or that I will feel like this forever! I cant feel like this forever its as if all I do is think and I don’t get a break. At the end of each day im so excited about going to bed so I can switch off and hope tomorrow is a better day and then I wake up again and it’s the same!
My boyfriend is my everything and the love of my life and my future and although I feel guilty for thinking it because of my family, he is the only one that gives me hope and makes me feel better! Her knows everything about all these thoughts and has been amazing, talking to me late at night, coming to see me everyday, letting me ring him at work crying
I love him and hate these intrusive thoughts I have about him! All I want to do is be positive about the future but I have so many doubts that we wont make it. Im worried im going to tell him I want to break up or I want a break just so I don’t feel like this anymore. But I don’t want it forever. Im worried that if that were to happen ill feel worse than now with out him, ill feel better, hell feel better or we will never get back together! I no we will be together forever im just worried were not going to make forever if I cant get through the next few months!
Im just so scared that ill feel this always. I keep questioning why I feel like this, like maybe I feel like this because I don’t love him! But I no I do, the thought of not having him around scares me so much and im worried the longer this goes on im going to end it or he’s going to realise im not the the girl he loves anymore and leave me which worried me more than me leaving him. Im so scared im getting unwell or im going to do something stupid to mess everything up. Im scared he will walk away or I will let him go, I also worry that what if im not unwell and I don’t love him which I no is stupid because I want to be with him all the time but im worried im going to finish things so I just don’t feel like this. End it and then realise actually I am unwell it got nothing to do with him.
Sorry to ramble on i just dont no how else to say what i feel, every thought contradicts how i feel! im feeling better since i read all your posts and have spent some really good quality time with him! im not more excitied about our future than i was before but still worry were not going to make it or worry that ill fall out of love with him before we get to do all the things we are excitied about doing.

Mon Nov 21 2011 14:20:42 #
Remdog85
Member

Hi Hannah, Sarahlou and all,

I have suffered with very similar thoughts. I remember it starting when I was 19 (but probably much ealrier when I think back), I'm 26 now and only just diagnosed with OCD. Hannah and Sarah, I completely sympathise with what you are / have been going through. Hannah, my advice to you is to definitely speak to your GP. I thought I just had a commitment issue but it becomes a recurring problem. Between the ages of 19 and 24 I had 4 relationships and ended them under similar and extreme circumstances - the last of which literally trying to escape off a boat! I have stayed away from relationships in the past couple of years, as don't want to go through the same thing again. The issue is in the past these feelings have driven me to self-harm and have got worse with each relationship. About 6-7 weeks ago, similar to Sarah, I started to get these feelings about my mum who is my No.1 person in life. They make me feel trapped and that I don't love or want to see her. Extremely distressing as we are so close and have been through a lot together. She has a disease and I have always worried about her, so feeling I don't want to be there for her anymore makes me feel physically sick. Anyway, I have since been dignosed as OCD - but more intrusive / unwanted thoughts than the washing your hands or locking doors type, although I do have some compulsions. I have been prescribed Sertraline and touch wood it seems to be working. I am due to be seeing the psychologist next week and the psychiatrist has also recommended CBT - not sure when that will start though. What I'm trying to say, Hannah, is it is not healthy to torture yourself with these feelings - the very fact that you are so distraught about them, makes me believe you probably are OCD in a similar way. In my case, it got worse and became about the person I love most, so do go to your GP as it will not go awaty by itself. I know what you mean that you think it will make you feel worse about talking about it but with time it gets better. I hadn't told my Dad anything until 3 weeks ago - he said for me to go round and I became anxious about seeing him too. I have since spent a lot more time with him and we are closer than ever. You have been very courageous in writing in this forum, the next thing is to speak to a professional or your family about your feelings. I went through exactly the same things and never said anything until I was 24 - that feeling of thinking what if I'm ok and I just don't like my gf or my mum or whatever is also a killer and is part of it. Stupidly, I did not continue with the treatment and it came back with a vengeance. This time, I am being sure to follow their lead. I haven't started with the CBT yet, but am hoping it will help a lot. Everything you are saying and feeling is me 7 years ago and i wish i knew then what I do now, so I recommend you at least look into it as there is help out there.

Keep me posted with how you get on.

All the best

Tue May 22 2012 12:20:47 #