Hey everyone,
I've only just registered with this website after my councellor told me about it and so far it seems like there is a very good community on here and we are all here to help each other in anyway we can!
So a quick background, i'm 38 and have suffered intrusive thoughts since i was about 17!! The first time i experienced obsessive thoughts it was to do with my then boyfriend, my thoughts were telling me i didn't love my boyfriend and i'd argue back that i did but my thoughts always won! This lead to me being extremely anxious and down! it was a truly horrible time of my life and i never told a sole because i thought i was going mad!!
So this brings me to today, years later, i have just gone through a horrible bout of depression which i'm recovering well from slowly but surely! My intrusive thoughts have returned with avengence!! This time its with regards to my mum!! I am extremely close to my mum, she's like my best friend and is my rock! The thoughts are very much against her, they tell me i hate my mum and that i resent her, this leaves me extremely upset BUT then i get a secondary thought saying maybe i do believe this thought, maybe i do hate my mum, what if the damage is done and there is no turning back!! I cannot tell you how distressing these thoughts are, they upset me so much!
Now the good news, with help from councelling and CBT i've learnt how to deal with these awful thoughts, i'm not cured but i'm better equipped to deal with them!! The trick is not to engage in them in ANY way!! Don't push the thoughts away, let them be there but don't engage in them or react to them, let them come in then go of their own accord!! And most importantly NEVER argue with these thoughts, you'll never win and all it does is distress you even more!! This technique won't work overnight and it really does take practise but it does work!! Sometimes i still forget myself and i engage in the thougts so then it takes a little longer to dispell them!!
Sorry this has become a bit long winded! i suppose what i'd really like to know is if anyone has suffered similar thoughts to me? It always seems to be about the ones i love which is what i find so distressing! I would appreciate any feedback or comments.
Thanks in advance, i hope you are all having a good day.............
Take care
Sarahlou x
- Hot topic