OCD Action

Gigolo
Member

Yep, depression has gotten so bad that I could not face going into work this week. I am relieved that I made this decision, because my performance was deteriorating and I was becoming increasingly agitated and frustrated with customers. I had virtually no self-worth and knew I had to take a break and get away from it all.

I really need some ideas for things to do. I have cleaned my house today, and yesterday finally unblocked my bathtub blockage. I'm halfway through my chapter on OCD for Anne. I need to try and be good to myself.

I'm sorry for everybody I've offended - Tess being one of the people.

Tue Aug 17 2010 21:09:52 #
sarah81
Member

I find yardwork quite relaxing (though I am a terrible gardener). If you are busy trying to dig up a stump or something it's hard to fixate on your OCD issues.
This is a really weird thing too, but sometimes when I am feeling really lousy I will look on a website like World Vision or Care and read about people and children that are TRULY suffering. Then I make a small donation and it makes me feel a little better.

Wed Aug 18 2010 7:58:52 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi there Sarah -

here's wishing you all the best. I have a question: am I right in assuming that you have OCD with depressions as an additional problem? And do you use medication(s)?

Knowing this makes it easier to formulate a helpful comment.

Keeping my fingers crossed that you may beat the beast,

Cuthbert.

Wed Aug 18 2010 8:27:06 #
sarah81
Member

Hi Cuthbert
Thanks for the good wishes, I can use those.
I don't know if I am depressed or not, but I certainly have obsessive thoughts. I am not on any medication at present but am soon going to start with a psychiatrist. I feel that the obsessions have got such a hold on my mind at the moment that I need something chemical to break the circle. At present am self-medicating with alcohol rather more than I should, although not enough to rate as an alcoholic on any sort of standard questionnaire.
Best wishes
Sarah

Wed Aug 18 2010 9:09:17 #
Cuthbert ffoliott
Moderator

Hi Sarah -

thanks for your reply. Sounds familiar: I used to drink alcohol too at my lowest points, to the point of semi-addiction (as in: being severely used to). It helped me to calm down, and to be able to read a book late at night, or listen to music. Even after that, I had major lapses back into alcohol abuse.

Now I am bringing down my consumption day by day. For me that is the only real option. Stopping altogether suddenly, I can do that, but even after a week of abstinence I can suddenly feel like I absolutely need to drink. Which is not good. Currently I am reaping the first fruits of my method: I feel better and more strong every new day, and the urge to 'dive in again' has gone.

As I see it now, you have a fine chance of, as you say it, 'break the circle' with meds. Wishing you all the best with that, and keep us updated, will you?

Ciao, Cuthbert.

Wed Aug 18 2010 9:26:16 #
Tess
Member

Hi Giles
Whatever are you on about?? You have never ever ever offended me so what put that in your head????? I'm just sorry that you have hit a low spot again, but hopefully when you get back to work your boss will be a bit more supportive of you.
As for things to do while you are off work catching up on tasks is a great idea if you can face them because a small task finished can be a huge burden lifted which makes the remaining tasks less daunting. But try to fit in some pleasure too and get lots of rest - and a doctor's certificate which eases the guilt of not being at work. It's also worth documenting the things which happened at work to cause you so much stress as your employer has a legal obligation to provide a safe working environment. How I wish I had done this many years ago when I became overstressed at work but I felt guilty and embarrassed. Now I realise that had I done so I would have had a good case for compensation. So my advice is look after no 1, if your self esteem is at rock bottom it will allow others to walk all over you and take advantage of you and the OCD will glorify in your misery. Been there, done it, got the tee-shirt, don't go there. Love Tess

Wed Aug 18 2010 10:07:35 #
sarah81
Member

Thanks Cuthbert, I 've just gotten back from my GP's office, told him my whole story, and I will be referred to a psychiatrist. I told him how much I'm drinking (1-3 glasses of wine per evening, off and on) and he said I can just do whatever I can to make myself feel better as this point, but hopefully once I get some medication I won't feel like I need it as much.
Best wishes
sarah

Wed Aug 18 2010 11:25:59 #
Unregistered

Dear Sarah, It’s good that making a donation to those charities helps, and, for some, realizing that others are suffering more helps put things into perspective. For others, this doesn’t help at all, it adds to the general feeling of pain and negativity that sadly exists in this world. Also, although I have been guilty of doing this myself, try not to view OCD as a condition that causes less suffering than other illnesses or situations. The pain of OCD, for a large number of people, is unbearable and every day is a tremendous struggle. Although few with OCD seek pity or sympathy, the fact that the general population views us as having a trivial problem to contend with (and many would not even class it as that!) does somehow make the burden even harder to bear.

Giles, Have you considered taking up a new sport?

Tricia x

Wed Aug 18 2010 13:42:47 #
Unregistered

Hi all,

I have not personally found that donating to charities does either. It just helps me to acknowledge that others are suffering too - but in different ways. I have been to the Phillipines to meet my foster child and the lack of hygiene and poverty gave me at least two panic attacks. So, in many ways, it allowed me to feel a fellow sufferer as well as a donor.

I would not imagine that any of us OCDers feel that we are suffering less than anyone else regardless of their suffering.

The stories I have received so far clearly show how devastating OCD is and this will be made clear in our book. Hopefully, after reading it, many more people will see OCD as a serious condition which should be prioritised in the same way as severe physical health conditions.
Annexx

Wed Aug 18 2010 14:06:59 #
Unregistered

ps.

Dear Giles

I do hope you feel better for having the week off. Look after yourself and go for some of those walks if you feel able. Do not worry about finishing the chapter. It is meant to be therapeutic for us - not a chore.

The main thing is for you to get some control back and start enjoying life again.
Love
Anne

Wed Aug 18 2010 14:14:07 #
Gigolo
Member

I've actually finished it now Anne and have emailed it over as a first draft. I would probably go mental if I was excluded now, after all the hard work I put into the chapter.

Well, I went out to the gym today and also visited a lot of charity shops in street and got myself another dance mat game and also a Lighthouse Family album from 2001. Apart from the fact that they shamlessly ripped off a U2 song and released it as their own single, its a really good, consistent album. Tunde Baiyewu has an amazing voice, perfect for soul music.

Wed Aug 18 2010 23:06:40 #
Unregistered

I have received it Giles and am looking at it now. I would have hated for you to be excluded too especially as you were the first OCDer to offer to write a whole chapter.

Many thanks and very well done.

Now take a break and be kind to yourself.
Night night hun

Anne

xxx

Wed Aug 18 2010 23:11:56 #
sarah81
Member

Just to clarify, I did not mean to imply that OCD is less of an illness than any other condition. I have probably spent years of my life obsessing about things that later turned out to be fine. Thus, I have felt the emotional costs of OCD intensely.
When I look at websites such as the ones mentioned above, it just makes me grateful for the things I do indeed have. Food, shelter, medical care, clean water, things that millions of people all over the world lack.
My OCD sometimes feels overwhelming, like it is overcoming me completely, and that I cannot do anything about it. At times it feels like an insurmountable burden, a problem I alone am helpless to fix.
Donating $50 towards buying an African family a goat or to paying for 10 malaria nets gives me the luxury of feeling that there are problems that I can help be the solution for. My OCD is the biggest problem in my life at present. For others, their biggest problems may be mosquitoes and the disease they carry, and maybe I can help to make their lives a little bit better.
I hope my point is made clearer by this.

Thu Aug 19 2010 7:35:51 #
Unregistered

Dear Sarah, I did understand and I asked you on another thread to please not take my message the wrong way. I was picking up on the ‘TRULY suffering‘. Many conditions can cause pain and misery, many can destroy lives. OCD can do all these and yet it’s viewed as a trivial problem by society.

A friend in a clinic in America met an elderly lady suffering severe OCD. She had spent years in a Nazi death camp. Many would wonder how intrusive thoughts and ‘contamination’ could possibly compare with such hell, but she will tell us it can.

Tricia x

Thu Aug 19 2010 14:18:21 #

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